Not the ones that leech blood. I’m talking about the ones that leech your emotions.

I’ve felt particularly vulnerable this week. What’s that you say? Yes, yes, I know I’m a pirate and pirates aren’t supposed to be vulnerable. We’re tough, you tell me. I tell myself that too. However, some days when I sit at my computer and pour out my story, I feel exposed and exhausted, like someone just ran me through the emotional wringer and put me away wet. More like a dog straight from his bath than the blood-thirsty, take-no-prisoners piratess I know myself to be.

When people who don’t write talk to me about writing, I always feel like they don’t ‘get’ it. The way they describe it, it sounds like so much fun. Creating worlds from your imagination, making up people and having them do things that you only ever dreamed of. They envy my initiative and they express the idea that, if they only had the faith in their imagination and the time/energy/determination/inclination, they would try writing as well.

I smile and nod through these conversations, agreeing with them about these good aspects of writing, but feeling like something in their descriptions is missing. I feel my characters’ embarrassment, their pain, their joy, and their heartaches. It’s like walking around with “Days of Our Lives” spinning out of control in my head.

Then, after I get all of that angst out, I have to let other people read it and (in)validate it. Yes, that’s terrifying.

Yet, I have to keep going, because if I don’t, how will I know they turn out all right in the end? They are adrift in uncertainty and I am their lifeline. Just add that responsibility to the other responsibilities in my life and you can probably understand my vulnerability.

So, as a recap: angst + possible public embarrassment + fake people counting on me + real life responsibilities = potential emotional exhaustion.

How about you? How do you deal with the emotional ups and downs of writing? What keeps you going through this? And how to do you deal with well-meaning yet misunderstanding comments of some non-writers?