Comments on: The Power of Praise http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/ Hard to Intimidate, Too Damned Drunk to Care Thu, 08 Jan 2009 22:31:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: MM http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-11713 MM Tue, 11 Nov 2008 23:45:28 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-11713 I stumbled across your blog when I needed it most! With the support of my husband, I have decided to pursue the writing career that I always wanted. When I joyfully shared this with a friend and then said Romance writer she said "Oh, I thought you meant a real writer"...I felt as if a fist had been plunged into my solar plexus. I'm begining to believe confidence has to come from within and from fellow writers. Or maybe I need new friends!LOL Thank you for your words. I stumbled across your blog when I needed it most! With the support of my husband, I have decided to pursue the writing career that I always wanted. When I joyfully shared this with a friend and then said Romance writer she said “Oh, I thought you meant a real writer”…I felt as if a fist had been plunged into my solar plexus. I’m begining to believe confidence has to come from within and from fellow writers.

Or maybe I need new friends!LOL

Thank you for your words.

]]> By: MsHellion http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4181 MsHellion Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:01:00 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4181 PS, Q, I agree: Love is LOVE--and it's the writer's voice and way of telling the story that makes it unique. Not the plot itself.<br/><br/>Though I think some writers do compete. If just secretly. *LOL* PS, Q, I agree: Love is LOVE–and it’s the writer’s voice and way of telling the story that makes it unique. Not the plot itself.

Though I think some writers do compete. If just secretly. *LOL*

]]> By: MsHellion http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4180 MsHellion Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:00:00 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4180 Hmmm, maybe I should do another parody soon. It's been a few months since I've done one. Hmmm, maybe I should do another parody soon. It’s been a few months since I’ve done one.

]]> By: MsHellion http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4179 MsHellion Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:59:00 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4179 Q, I used to get an A in Geometry. I don't know what it was...but for some reason, I grasped that more easily...or maybe I was more "instinctive" about it. The PROOFS were my favorite. I remember getting a couple right...I said, "This is for this" and that WAS the answer, but my rational for getting there was incorrect. *LOL* It totally baffled my teacher. I don't know if it's that geometry seemed more applicable and practical to me, and algebra didn't or what.<br/><br/>I did get a bit more comfortable with algebra in physics class--but that was more BASIC algebra (the kind the kindergartners were doing apparently); and I found the beginning calculus stuff rather understandable. I could usually solve those like no one's business. It was a matter of remembering a formula. THAT I could do...but algebra in general is more like "word problems" and filling in the right info at the right spots...and I never got that. I was a dyslexic algebra person, I guess. Bah. I always needed a cheat sheet to do stuff. I couldn't just remember the reasoning behind the math concepts. Q, I used to get an A in Geometry. I don’t know what it was…but for some reason, I grasped that more easily…or maybe I was more “instinctive” about it. The PROOFS were my favorite. I remember getting a couple right…I said, “This is for this” and that WAS the answer, but my rational for getting there was incorrect. *LOL* It totally baffled my teacher. I don’t know if it’s that geometry seemed more applicable and practical to me, and algebra didn’t or what.

I did get a bit more comfortable with algebra in physics class–but that was more BASIC algebra (the kind the kindergartners were doing apparently); and I found the beginning calculus stuff rather understandable. I could usually solve those like no one’s business. It was a matter of remembering a formula. THAT I could do…but algebra in general is more like “word problems” and filling in the right info at the right spots…and I never got that. I was a dyslexic algebra person, I guess. Bah. I always needed a cheat sheet to do stuff. I couldn’t just remember the reasoning behind the math concepts.

]]> By: Quantum http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4178 Quantum Fri, 28 Mar 2008 21:13:00 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4178 Hellion, I used to think that algebra was easy.<br/><br/>You have 'it' the unknown on the left and all the knowns on the right. You then figure out what 'it' is.<br/><br/>In the romance context however, I have been baffled by 'it' for a long time, or rather by the writers who create 'it'<br/><br/>Because we all agree that romance bloggers are the most lovable, supportive, back slapping, (rum swilling?) and encouraging community on the planet, 'it' must be something very unusual!<br/><br/>Since your posting of that wonderful parody of the song 'My Favourite Things' in the vagabonds blog I became even more puzzled by 'it'<br/><br/>I had thought that the solution may be that writers do not feel that they are competing with each other. The plots of a romance novel don't vary that much except in the detail, and individuality is expressed more through the 'voice', though novelty in the plot is of course still important. <br/><br/>At least that's what I was thinking until your parodies entered the equation. I am not going to congratulate on your writing again because I'm envious darn it. Why couldn't I have written that!<br/><br/>So I'm back to being puzzled by 'it'....maybe its just that you are all such nice people!<br/><br/>Thanks for the bottle *g* Hellion, I used to think that algebra was easy.

You have ‘it’ the unknown on the left and all the knowns on the right. You then figure out what ‘it’ is.

In the romance context however, I have been baffled by ‘it’ for a long time, or rather by the writers who create ‘it’

Because we all agree that romance bloggers are the most lovable, supportive, back slapping, (rum swilling?) and encouraging community on the planet, ‘it’ must be something very unusual!

Since your posting of that wonderful parody of the song ‘My Favourite Things’ in the vagabonds blog I became even more puzzled by ‘it’

I had thought that the solution may be that writers do not feel that they are competing with each other. The plots of a romance novel don’t vary that much except in the detail, and individuality is expressed more through the ‘voice’, though novelty in the plot is of course still important.

At least that’s what I was thinking until your parodies entered the equation. I am not going to congratulate on your writing again because I’m envious darn it. Why couldn’t I have written that!

So I’m back to being puzzled by ‘it’….maybe its just that you are all such nice people!

Thanks for the bottle *g*

]]> By: Lisa http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4177 Lisa Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:49:00 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4177 Thanks Irish!<br/><br/>I agree with everyone's comments today about the romance blog community being very supportive. I've visited other writing arenas, and found a less than warm reception. I think it just goes to show what a wonderful community we share in the romance writing world. Thanks Irish!

I agree with everyone’s comments today about the romance blog community being very supportive. I’ve visited other writing arenas, and found a less than warm reception. I think it just goes to show what a wonderful community we share in the romance writing world.

]]> By: irisheyes http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4176 irisheyes Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:39:00 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4176 Awesome blog, Lisa!<br/><br/>I think praise in every aspect of our lives is vital. It's important for us to be validated. I know there have been days when I've been ready to throw in the towel on being a mommy, wife, daughter, writer... you name it and a kind or encouraging word does wonders for my staying power. And as Janga mentioned especially from those whose opinion really matters to me.<br/><br/>I also think it fuels you're self esteem. It's like having a store of it when you need to fall back on it and pull it out in times of need. I'm talking about well deserved, sincere and hard won praise and not the "everyone has to be a winner" kind of praise that I balk at in all the school and sports functions my children are a part of.<br/><br/>I do have to agree about the romance community/blogs being very supportive and very affirming. It makes it a little easier to push yourself to do what you may not have thought yourself possible of before. Awesome blog, Lisa!

I think praise in every aspect of our lives is vital. It’s important for us to be validated. I know there have been days when I’ve been ready to throw in the towel on being a mommy, wife, daughter, writer… you name it and a kind or encouraging word does wonders for my staying power. And as Janga mentioned especially from those whose opinion really matters to me.

I also think it fuels you’re self esteem. It’s like having a store of it when you need to fall back on it and pull it out in times of need. I’m talking about well deserved, sincere and hard won praise and not the “everyone has to be a winner” kind of praise that I balk at in all the school and sports functions my children are a part of.

I do have to agree about the romance community/blogs being very supportive and very affirming. It makes it a little easier to push yourself to do what you may not have thought yourself possible of before.

]]> By: Lisa http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4175 Lisa Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:32:00 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4175 Janga, I understand the need for validation from someone you admire. It's never a substitute, but it sure sustains us through the hard times.<br/><br/>Hellion, yes, I was one of those children. My brother could get C's and that was like an A for him. *shrugs*<br/><br/>Ter, I worry about my son's self esteem. Everytime I raise my voice before I realize what I've done I cringe inside. I never want him to feel the way I did as a child. Someone could raise their voice and it would scare me to death. I've seen the same look on his face that I felt in my heart as a kid. Words can do long term damage. Janga, I understand the need for validation from someone you admire. It’s never a substitute, but it sure sustains us through the hard times.

Hellion, yes, I was one of those children. My brother could get C’s and that was like an A for him. *shrugs*

Ter, I worry about my son’s self esteem. Everytime I raise my voice before I realize what I’ve done I cringe inside. I never want him to feel the way I did as a child. Someone could raise their voice and it would scare me to death. I’ve seen the same look on his face that I felt in my heart as a kid. Words can do long term damage.

]]> By: terrio http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4174 terrio Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:44:00 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4174 Janga is right about this industry. It's not perfect but the authors I've been fortunate enough to meet either in person or online are beyond generous. I'll never get over the feeling of being embraced I get everytime I hang out with, meet or even email with writers. Makes me feel very good about all the other junk that goes along with trying to get published. Janga is right about this industry. It’s not perfect but the authors I’ve been fortunate enough to meet either in person or online are beyond generous. I’ll never get over the feeling of being embraced I get everytime I hang out with, meet or even email with writers. Makes me feel very good about all the other junk that goes along with trying to get published.

]]> By: Janga http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4173 Janga Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:25:00 +0000 http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2008/03/28/the-power-of-praise/#comment-4173 As writers, if we didn't write hoping that someone will respond positively, wouldn't we all stick to our journals? <br/><br/>I do write to authors whose books touch me. And in nearly every case, they respond in a way that affirms my value as a reader.I also write to authors who send ARCs. I want them to know I appreciate the gift, and I think they deserve some early reader response.<br/><br/>I do think the romance community is unique in the graciousness and generosity of published writers, including some big-time successes. I was feeling really discouraged several weeks ago when I got an email from one of my favorite writers saying that she believed in me and offering to read my stuff. I will be soaring a long time on the strength of that praise. But equally important is the regular affirmation that I get from other yet-to-be-published writers who like my characters and believe I will succeed. I don't think praise from any of these sources is a substitute for believing in myself, but the praise can keep the lights burning when my self-confidence flickers. As writers, if we didn’t write hoping that someone will respond positively, wouldn’t we all stick to our journals?

I do write to authors whose books touch me. And in nearly every case, they respond in a way that affirms my value as a reader.I also write to authors who send ARCs. I want them to know I appreciate the gift, and I think they deserve some early reader response.

I do think the romance community is unique in the graciousness and generosity of published writers, including some big-time successes. I was feeling really discouraged several weeks ago when I got an email from one of my favorite writers saying that she believed in me and offering to read my stuff. I will be soaring a long time on the strength of that praise. But equally important is the regular affirmation that I get from other yet-to-be-published writers who like my characters and believe I will succeed. I don’t think praise from any of these sources is a substitute for believing in myself, but the praise can keep the lights burning when my self-confidence flickers.

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