Writing for the Directionally Challenged
‘Ello me hearty mates and crew. Today we’re going to do a little elementary compass navigation and orientation. (No, Jack my love, not sexual orientation; you are prickly. And no, Sin, I’m not dumping anyone off into the middle of the woods and saying, “Well, see you at supper!” and then giving you a merit badge if you arrive back without being covered in poison ivy.)
No, I speak of: Writing Orientation. How to get your bearings in your book, head off again in the right direction (i.e. start writing again) and arrive at your destination (i.e. HEA) sometime before your supplies (i.e. the rum) run out. A handy device all pirates need if they find themselves marooned…or possibly in a hurricane in which they think their ship is going to sink.
First and most important, find due NORTH. You won’t get your bearings or headings or anything until you’ve got your center. Your due NORTH is two things: characters and goals. So if you’re ever stuck, flailing about, sitting in Doldrums and wondering if a brisk wind will come again, find due NORTH. Remember where you are going and put it in contrast with where you are now. Just like NORTH is the most important of the four, your characters and their goals are the most important part of your story. They are the story. Are your characters still behaving true to themselves? Are they pursuing their goals for all they’re worth? Like NORTH, are they bigger and bolder than everything else (i.e. plot, secondary characters)? Are you keeping your scenes (like your sails) trim? If the scenes you’re putting on the page aren’t necessary to the characters or the goals, then they’re most likely dross that’s weighing down your ship and sailing you the long way to China.
Once you’ve got NORTH, glance behind you to the SOUTH. Notice this. There is no North without South, no love without hate, no peace without war, no romance without heartbreak. Here in the SOUTH lies conflict and irony. While your NORTH is focusing on character and goals, the SOUTH should be raising hell on the NORTH, making everyone wonder which side is going to win. (Am I the only one hearing “Dixie”?) Conflict keeps your characters and their goals in sharp desire. And while you’re at it, make sure some of your conflict is of the ironic variety. If your heroine hates class reunions and hell would freeze over before she attended one, make her go to accomplish something that is very important to her, more important than her fear and hatred of confronting her demons. Irony sticks. Irony is conflict inflicted by method of laughing gas.
So we got the NORTH and SOUTH opposing each other; take a look over your right shoulder to the EAST. Venus the Morningstar is your guide. So our next important bearing: Love. Love is important since you need conflict for your Conflict, and nothing conflicts Conflict more than Love. (One of those ironic things again.) Clearly if you’re writing a romance, love is a main bearing. Make it big, make it count, and make it believable. We all need the Big 3: Faith, Hope, and Love, but most of all Love. John said it first; then the other John made a song about it. Notice, though, Love is not the sole focus of your story, nor the biggest focus—but it does shine the brightest.
Now look WEST, young man, look WEST. What good is the WEST? Why the ending, of course. We all admire the perfect sunset, and though it may be the same sun, no two are the same. The same is true of your happily ever after. Yes, it’s romance; yes, it’s a happy ending; yes, there are a 100 Regencies published a year—but your Happily Ever After is just as beautiful, just as unique as the thousand other sunsets across the world. Someone will enjoy seeing it; someone will be moved by it; someone will even remember it forever. And the thing about sunsets is you never get tired of seeing them and marveling at how beautiful they are—and how at peace with the world they make us feel. Write your happy ending; do it to make the world a little sweeter.
All right. Got your bearings now? Have you found your characters and goals? Is the SOUTH rising again? (Lisa, Sin, get your minds out of the gutter.) Have you put on that Beatles CD and a little song in your heart? Then start cracking toward that Happy Ending, mates. Head West to your destination.
What do you guys think? Any important headings I should have focused on instead? Anyone else dallied in filing their taxes like I did and are running to the post office after work like a chicken with its head cut off? Anyone else able to orientate themselves with a compass? (Me, I use the sun rather than magnets.)
April 15th, 2008 at 4:51 am
What a great blog Hellion! It’s truly a huge help. I always try to keep these things in mind, but having them spelled out for me makes things gel a bit more.
April 15th, 2008 at 6:31 am
Hellion, you’d love the book we got in the library this year. It’s called Pirate (what else?) and set into the cover is a working compass. Inside, it’s interactive, with little envelopes to untie to read about pirate lore.
As you know, I think of pretty much nothing when I sit down to write. But my inner compass must be working, because I inadvertantly have the “right” bearings. Just don’t put me in a car. I always get lost.
April 15th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Cap’n - Very good and very inspirational! I think a directional log is just what this boat of pirates needs. I feel like we’ve all been a little, well, uninspired the past month or so. I’m blaming the weather. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
I must report that I sat down last night and wrote 8 pages! Yay me! I hope this is the start of something good.
April 15th, 2008 at 7:43 am
North, South, East and West. That’s going to have me running around in circles. Are you sure I’ll get anywhere? LOL
April 15th, 2008 at 8:00 am
You know, with all these road trips I’m always taking, I’ve become an expert at reading maps. But I never thought to apply it to my writing. I have my NORTH and recently found my SOUTH. Now I need to work on my coasts. Which is sort of fitting since I live on the East coast and am going to the West coast this summer.
So, here’s to reaching the WEST in my WIP before my butt actually gets to the WEST.
Marnee - YAY!!!!! That’s terrific!
Great blog, Captain!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:11 am
Heliion, you definitely have a gift for metaphor. Wonderful blog! I have to run, but I will be back later to comment.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:12 am
Ugh! That’s “Hellion.” Alas! My typing sucks.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Taxes aren’t due till April 30th here
Fun blog, Capt’n. You have a way with pirateering. Why don’t you write a pirate book? I’ve always wondered that.
Like Maggie, my internal compass is working the story seems to be coming and coming, and coming
Good thing it works because not only am I geographically challenged I’m directionally challenged… thank god I’m a girl say that one…lol!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Oh, and Marnee… YAY! That’s a lot of pages!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:19 am
All the talk of north and south conjures images of Patrick Swayze in my mind… Anyone old enough to remember the TV series?
I love this blog, I always need directions it doesn’t mean I follow them, but I use them as a check list. Hot mysterious hero…check! Heroine that is strong willed but has a heart for everyone…check! Physical chemistry…check! Big black moment…check! You get my drift:)
April 15th, 2008 at 8:25 am
Lisa - you just reminded me! We are talking North & South and there is no Richard Armitage picture. The Captain must fix this ASAP! LOL!
Or not….
April 15th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Man, national pick on me day. And I did my taxes way back in January when I was in tax mode. I get tired of doing taxes.
I LOVE this blog! As always well written and very inspirational Hellion. I don’t have an internal compass. I don’t even have a compass that works. I’m at the end of the world where no compass dares to go! Eventually, after I wander around for a few hundred years, I’ll reach my destination.
Speaking of which, I have a present for you! I found it Sunday. It’s perfect!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:36 am
OMG, Lisa, I absolutely loved N&S w/ Patrick Swayze as a young kid/teen (11-12). My friend & I were completely mad for him. I sincerely couldn’t decide if I wanted George or Ory more. Then there was that other Southern guy, young-young-young and a complete scoundrel, I lusted purely for him. I loved Ory; would have married George; and wanted an affair with the third. Best Prime Time Soap Opera in Gone With The Wind Costumes I ever watched….
April 15th, 2008 at 8:37 am
By the way, this blog was brought to you guys, compliments of my Compass prize in my McDonald’s Happy Meal. And sometimes it even works properly!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:37 am
I LOVED North and South. For Christmas, I bought the DVD of the series for my younger sister. Which reminds me, I need to get that from her so I can enjoy it. There’s just something about that time period that fascinates me. Southern hospitality, southern belles. Hot men who are the perfect southern gentleman until you get them in the bedroom. But I could never write a civil war historical.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Kelly, I frequently have to have things spelled out for me too…with diagrams. And pictures of a half named Richard Armitage aren’t amiss either, if you really want me to grasp the subject.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Maggie, I don’t think I’m aware I have a compass either when I actually sit down to write. Usually I have some glimmer of a scene and I just need to write it down before it goes away. OR in the case of what I’m doing now (REVISIONS), I remember what my brilliant CP said needed to be done in that scene, and I start thinking of ways to make that happen. Come hell or high water.
Sorry, I’m having scene moments. I really need to write it down! Damn the folders, anyway!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:40 am
P.S. I would totally love to see that book, too! I wonder if it’s the one I’ve seen at Walmart…
April 15th, 2008 at 8:41 am
Marnee! Congrats on the 8 pages! I’m sure it’s just the beginning of more things to come! (I was almost going to say: tip of iceberg but then I thought Titanic…and that’s not the image I wanted here.) May your pages quadruple in the days to come….
April 15th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Kris, no promises. You’re not supposed to be running in circles…you’re just supposed to get your bearings…then head West! Though admittedly I do spin in circles. (Though admittedly that can be fun, if you’re in the mud on an ATV and…never mind…)
April 15th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Terri, definite good luck to you getting West before you go West! You can do it, mate!
April 15th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Janga, no worries…the first spelling looks a lot how Sin screams my name at the library, before she swings in on the rigging….
April 15th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Tiff, you don’t need to know how to work your own compass when you’re able to get any man standing around to point you in the right direction. ME, I generally have to figure it out myself…but that’s okay. Unlike some of my friends, I know the sun sets in the West…so I’m good.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:49 am
I have a gift? *bouncing up and down* When can I get it, huh-huh-huh? And can I borrow BED, huh-huh-huh?
April 15th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Tiff, I have no idea why I don’t write a pirate novel, other than the Golden Age of Piracy was between 1650 and 1720–and that time period doesn’t exactly fascinate me. I would like to write one based around the Flying Dutchman legend–where he’s cursed to roam the seas, but returns to land every 7 or 10 years–and only the love of a good woman can break the curse. I would like to do something with that…but there are a LOT of books I’d like to do. I’ll get to them all eventually, right? *LOL*
Sin, I love the Southern stuff…but could never write a Civil War based novel either. (Plus I got completely burnt out on all those historicals from the 80s with this theme!) PLUS…there’s a certain about of PC you’d have to do in your novels…that just wouldn’t be historically correct ever…I don’t know. It’s why I don’t write historicals for the most part. Too much fantasy, too little historical correctness.
April 15th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Did she just imply the rest of us don’t know where the sun sets?
April 15th, 2008 at 8:58 am
No, I’m referring to a college story.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:04 am
The sun sets in the west? *puzzled look*
LOL!
April 15th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Hellion-Awesome blog!!
I love how you put a new spin on the writing process.
Marnee- Congrats on your 8 pages!
Di
April 15th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Once upon a time, Hellion went on Spring Break with 3 of her best friends. Jackie was the city driver, so she drove us everywhere. Maele was the Smart Pre-Lawyer, so she navigated and figured out the maps. Jennifer was the best at parking (so you guessed, she parked); and Hellion who had no talents and didn’t drive, flirted so we could get discounts, help, and score free stuff. (Boy, my job was HARD.)
So we were in LA; and it’d been a long day. We’d gone to this museum I wanted to see (a cowboy museum of sorts) and we were leaving. It was 5 pm. Right, are you imagining the traffic? Yes. So Jackie, our intrepid driver, is trying to figure out how to get out of LA without going through East LA, which would have been bad. Our little Midwest Selves would have flipped out. Maele kept flipping around the map but to no avail. Jackie and Maele started getting snippy with each other; Jennifer got upset–and then she got yelled at when she made a suggestion–and I stayed quiet, because clearly this is not a place where my flirting would be of any help. We would get out of this eventually. I wasn’t worried about it.
After Jennifer got yelled at, I also wasn’t going to point the obvious, which was: WEST is that way, where the sun is setting. After all, I was talking to someone who was Summa Cum Laude…and Jackie was at least a Cum Laude. I mean, we ALL know where the sun sets.
But apparently no one other than me was remembering…because it was only when Jackie saw a sign that said, “East LA this way” that she jerked the car into the opposite direction and drove out of town.
And later, after some ice cream and we were all in a good mood again, I asked if anyone had thought about the sun setting as a directional guide–and they all gaped at me. “WHY didn’t you say something?”
April 15th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Thank you, Di!! Glad to see you on board! Have some rum!
April 15th, 2008 at 9:09 am
ROFLMAO!! Love that you waited until they figured it out. And now I know why it was so easy to confuse you everytime I drove to my house. Bwahahahahahaha!
April 15th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Why, because it was always dark when we arrived back at your house? I have no idea where you’re located and where it is in relation to anything else. Then again, I could have eventually worked it out…or at least enough to get to an airport and fly back home where I did know where everything was.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:25 am
And I *waited* because it’s such an obvious answer. I figured it wasn’t something useful to them. Plus I didn’t want to get yelled at.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Self-preservation is a powerful thing. I can understand that. And at the same time, I’d hate to have to drive in LA.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:34 am
And I never purposely drove home weird to throw you guys off. This place is just set up that way. It all depended on from which direction we were coming.
April 15th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Thanks for the props, guys. Hopefully it wasn’t a fluke and I’ll be able to keep it up.
April 15th, 2008 at 11:05 am
So I just realized, how do you find NORTH if you don’t have it? Or the other directions for that matter. Since SOUTH is my biggest problem, lets start there. LOL!
April 15th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Do you mean literally with a compass or do you mean in my brilliant metaphor I posted above?
Literally: You hold the compass in your hand, then situate it until the red needle is directly NORTH. Then you turn yourself in that direction, since that would be the easiest way to orientate yourself. I don’t use compasses–because I find magnets too complicated–and basically look for the sun and direct myself from there. If it’s night, I look for the North star, which any country girl with one eye can locate in the sky. Okay, unless there’s cloud cover…but if there’s cloud cover, you should probably be looking for shelter anyway because finding your way home is not going to be your immediate problem.
Metaphorically: do some character questionaires, fill out some GMC charts, lay in a hammock and contemplate the glimmer of the idea you have–and what type of person would have the most to lose from it. Then write about them.
How is CONFLICT your biggest problem when you’re nothing if not conflicting?
And the simple answer is: figure out NORTH (what it is your characters want most: think Jack), then to find SOUTH, think of all the things that would keep them from that. Don’t necessarily USE them all, but do think of them all and pick the best ones.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
I meant metaphorically but thanks for the compass lesson. Good thing I’m not steering this vessal. But now I’m hearing that line from the movie. Something about “but we’re not looking for NORTH now are we?” LOL!
April 15th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
And you are confusing my natural inclination to debate with being conflicting. LOL!
April 15th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Captain, you have a way with words! Motivational, eye-popping, jaw-dropping, ah-ha moments galore. At last, this hearty wench understands. The compass will lead to our heart’s desire. (I’m expecting Jack to suddenly appear out of nowhere. Drat! He’s a no show.)
The books Pirate Soul and Pirateology have compasses in them. Wonderful books. Me luvs ‘em all.
I’m heading west this summer too, Terrio. Mayhap we’ll catch the same wind.
North and South. Patrick Swayze, James Read, Lewis Smith (Charles Main), John Stockwell (Billy Hazard later played by Parker Stevenson). Loved the mini series. Tried to read the book but in the movie Ory’s leg is saved. In the book, his arm is taken off. I just couldn’t picture Patrick Swayze without an arm and couldn’t read further. (sigh)
April 15th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
How do you people remember all that? I watched that as a child! All I remember is Kirsti Alley married a black dude and Patrick Swayze was hot and over the top dramatic. I couldn’t in a million years tell you the character’s names.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Lewis Smith! Yes, that’s the one I wanted the torrid affair with. He was so *bad*!
I don’t know. Jack shows up occasionally and says hello. Most of the time, this is just too early in the day for him. He’s usually sleeping it off until about 2 p.m. Then he has to sober up over a draught of rum.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
You were CLEARLY not a serious fan. *LOL* I was a child, but I knew Charles would mellow by the time I got of age…and then I’d be perfect for him. *LOL*
April 15th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I’m not sure what year that show hit the air but I was either too much in love with Bruce Willis and Pierce Brosnan or I’d already moved on to bad boy musicians to care.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
You probably had cable by then. To the 3-Channel Sect, N&S was a BIG DEAL. Came on in 1985. Good Lord, I was 10! *laughing* Oh, well, my love for Charles was still real, I assure you. I’ve been in love with curly, dark haired rogues ever since. And I’m sure they replayed it for a few years after that. The 2nd mini-series was my favorite, I think, anyway, it came out when I was 11. Practically out of the schoolroom by that point.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Ack! You were 10? I was 24 and oh, so in love with them all. (Uh, I’m feeling like an old crone instead of a feisty wench now.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I was 10 going on 30, I assure you. Don’t frown. *passes her more rum* Jack will have to come up and kiss you if you frown.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Rum is good. Rum makes you feel young and wild again. A frown will attract Jack? Let me frown til sundown then…
April 15th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
*staggering onto the deck* Avast, me dear wenches, do any of you know where the rum has gone? *spies Hellion* Lass! I’m out of rum, can you point me in the right direction? *gropes Hellion even as he eyes Kathy speculatively* And who’s your friend, and why is the pretty young thing frowning? Is she out of rum too?
April 15th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Rum all around! *yells for Terri* Seriously, you have the ship stocked full of eye-candy and nobody can make sure we’ve got rum? What the devil are they all doing? Push-ups?
April 15th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
*unloads dolly of rum kegs*
I can’t help it y’all drink so damn much! Jack, help me out and put that woman on her back so’s she’ll get off of mine.
If it came out in ‘85 then I was well into the musicians by then. Hell, that’s the year I went to see Bon Jovi. And cried all the way home that it was over too soon. *sigh*
And yes, we got cable in late ‘81 or early ‘82. But we had that regular TV sitting on top of the big, non-working console just like everyone else. LOL!
April 15th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Body shots, ladies! Who’s up first? *waxing mustache* And it’s pronounced: “Magnificent” and “Fierce”–keep that in mind.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Great blog, Hellion.
Terrio, as long as you know your character’s names and a little bit about them, that’s all you need to start writing. But I’ve always been without a compass.
Although I do have to say that Hellion’s horoscoping (um, yes, I’m making this into a verb) really helped me with these two current characters. It’s funny… Tiff chose the hero’s name and I said I wanted him to be an Aquarius and Hellion chose the birthdate.
I fly way too much off the cuff… but last night, Simone (the heroine) finally told me her secret. Woo-hoo!
Marnee, that’s an awesome page count! I love when writing just flows like that. Congrats!
April 15th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Ooohhh… Hellion let Jack out! *eyeing Jack coyly* You can have some of my rum, Captain Sparrow…. *batting lashes*
April 15th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Oh, and thanks Elyssa! I just wrote a couple more today too and I have some ideas that I hope will keep me going this evening. *fingers crossed*
April 15th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I’ll do a body shot off of Will. Where’s Will?! He’s here right?! Jack???
April 15th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Ely - yay for horoscoping (totally a verb) and for confessing heroine’s. Love when they get around to cooperating.
April 15th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
I left the Twit, Twig…uh, Will at home. In Port Royal. Miles and Miles away from here. *winks at Marnee* I’ll be right with you, my pet. *turns around* Katie my Wenchling, where did you go?
April 15th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
*climbing over the ship’s railing soaked* Don’t count on it. *shakes off excess water* I get frequent swimmer miles on a couple of sea turtles. Did someone want a body shot?
April 15th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Marnee’s been writing more…Ely is writing like the wind! This has been a creative day!!
Okay, so I’d totally love it if I could have been squeezed into Massage Envy today…instead of Thursday. Blast. Oh, well.
April 15th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Well, hell, wouldn’t you know I get busy and the Capt’n board the ship. I’m about to climb in the crow’s nest and get some sun. I feel like creativity might be in the wind and sun today. Hellion, you better not be up there getting nekid with the Capt’n.
April 15th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Oh Hellion, I’d say you are a breath of fresh air, but it might be clouded with too much whisky. By the way, might I have a swig or two, or three? Hell, give me the damn bottle, if you’re willing to share.
It’s been a hell of a few days and thanks to you I’ve realized I’m wondering around aimless. Did I think to look North? Noooooooo. South? HA! West? Speaking of sunsets, we had the most beautiful one last night. Anywhooooo, after looking around to see exactly where it was I was actually looking, I found my feet. Yep, you heard me right, my feet. I guess I’ve been moping, wondering why in the tarnation my characters aren’t writing their own damn story.
North, South, West…gotcha.
Thanks again for one heck of an inspirational blog,
Renee
April 15th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I’m just sitting here, blinking. This is BEYOND good. This is “Should be a conference presentation” good. This is “The RWR is scheduling a day-long workshop on how to enjoy the writing process AND be brilliant” good.
Really brilliant.
April 15th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Damn it, Will shows up just as I had to leave. Figures.
Renee - so happy you found your feet. But around here you’re supposed to find your sea-legs. LOL! That’s ok, all progress is good progress.
Gillian - Please! We can barely fit her ego below decks now! LOL! But you’re totally right. Freaking brilliant.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Tally-Ho! I have to abandon the ship for awhile and when I return, I find that Captain Jack has been dallying with you besotted wenches. (I must add that I nearly spewed my drink all over the computer screen. It’s been a long time since a scallywag has eyed me speculatively.)
Rum kegs! Jack! Body shots! Waxed mustaches. Will soaked through and through. A partee it be. Aye. Where are the musicians? I feel like doing a lively little dance for ye all. Pass the rum. I need a dram of rum. Marnee’s writing success and Simone’s unveiled secret warrants celebration. I love this ship! *hic*
April 15th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Shucks you guys are making me so self-conscious! But, thanks anyway. I appreciate the support. It feels good to type again!
April 16th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Lord Almighty, can you imagine a Pirate Presentation? I’m not sure I could afford to pass out the mini-bottles of rum to all the attendees so they’re reminded to drink a little something-something before sitting before the keyboard. But I am flattered beyond belief–and I did a little jig at my keyboard. *LOL* I’m glad this blog was inspirational for everyone.