I’m not a fan of literature we had to read in high school, but there were a couple pieces that made an impression. One was John Donne’s Meditation 17, where he says no man is an island; and that any man’s death diminishes all of us. Cheerful Tuesday fodder, I admit; but in my Hellion irreverence sort of way, I think, hey, no writer is an island. All writers are a part of us; and what we put forth on the page has been influenced by all the writers that have published (or some even, unpublished) before us.

I buy writer’s books whenever I’m stymied by anything. A footnote, a punctuation mark, a sex scene…whatever. If you go to the “Go On Account” page where a bunch of writer’s books are listed, I have all but one of those. And many more besides. But the question remains: can a writing book really teach a writer how to write? Or for a completely different analogy: do you really learn how to have sex by reading a theorized manual on it, or do you learn by practice—and if you’re lucky, by being tutored by someone who’s done it before and knows how? (I know, we pirates, everything circles back to sex. It’s all the men on this ship!)

But really, although I have learned some really great things from the writer’s books I’ve gotten, I have to say—the real stuff I’ve learned about writing, I learned from reading other published books. Books I wanted to write myself. Books I was so inspired by that I ran out and told all my friends about. Okay, maybe not when I was thirteen. (My friends threatened to burn my books then, so I didn’t exactly share then.)

In the first “real romance” I ever read (circa age 13) I learned the importance of the “cute meet.” Janelle Taylor’s First Love, Wild Love is a story about the rancher’s daughter who comes home, stays overnight at a bordello (after nearly being accosted), and ends up being seduced by the hero, a Texas Ranger, whose bed she just happens to be sleeping in. (Granted, I’m taking liberal interpretation of “cute meet” but considering the scene in question, it’s one of those 80s “forced seduction” scenes. The Windflower out West.) The cute meet ties with the “catalyst” (sex) and the rest of the book is this wild romp of will they or won’t they? I still have a soft spot for blond Texas Rangers. And bordellos. It probably also explains why I love having heroes who have a LOT to overcome to make themselves heroic. (I mean, what type of guy has sex with a girl who’s barely awake? Even if she is dressed like a strumpet? Even if she did seem interested? I mean, get her name first.)

In the second “real romance” I read (Autumn Dove), I learned the importance of internal conflict. He was a half-breed and she was a white woman/lady. Considering the time period, it would never work out. And the internal conflict of this very simple belief propelled the external conflict as well! The conflict was built from the characters themselves. It wasn’t just some historical point where two characters were inserted; the book seemed very real, as if these were real historical figures with real problems.

Then there are my auto-buy authors: Jude Deveraux, Julie Garwood, Teresa Medeiros, Elizabeth Hoyt, Sherrilyn Kenyon, and Kasey Michaels.

Jude Deveraux: her heroes were always to die for. I always wanted to marry a Taggert or Montgomery (especially Alex from The Raider or Hank from The Awakening.) I loved the situational comedy she’d do; and the feisty heroines with the smart remarks, but her heroes were always my favorite of all. Her heroines seemed so real; her stories were different (hello, A Knight in Shining Armor?); and her heroes were swoonworthy.

Julie Garwood: I adore her gift for the one-liner and dramatic irony. She knows how to open a chapter, and she knows how to end it so you don’t dare put down the book and go to bed. I’ll never forget my jaw-dropping when I got to the end of one of her chapters and I read, “We like to call her Pagan.” (I was 14 or so, and not very good at solving the mystery—so this was huge news to me.) I couldn’t put the book down after that. Now when I read the book (The Guardian), it’s clear from the first chapter who Pagan was; and I love her cleverness at imbedding the clues in plain sight.

Teresa Medeiros: I’ve always wanted to be able to do lush prose and setting like Teresa does. It’s gorgeous; and it doesn’t seem overdone when she does it. Sweet humor, vivid emotion—I couldn’t even begin to be that brilliant, but damn, it’s beautiful to read. Maybe one day it will rub off a little.

Kasey Michaels: In my favorite books by her, she starts off with a quotation. I love this. I love quotations—and I imagine she does too. She probably does this because she likes them. What a wonderful thing to learn! Write what you love! I think she writes the story she wants to read. Like J.K. Rowling does…whom we all know I adore! P.S. I think Kasey has some really imaginative, clever plots and twists! I wish I was half as clever.

Sherrilyn Kenyon and Elizabeth Hoyt: The hottest sex scenes ever. Sex scenes so hot even my best friend who used to burn my books can’t wait to read the next one. Okay, so she says she reads Sherrilyn for the stories, but she admits the sex is hot. She doesn’t skip it. That’s saying something. To make the characters so believable, the sexual tension so thick…yeah, you don’t want to skip a word of the love scene. This is hard. I’ve read books where the characters were likable; the story good—but the tension was lukewarm at best, and I skipped the sex scenes. Me! I never skip sex scenes! Or worse, you have characters but no tension—just pulsating jets of warmth between your thighs or whatever. SKIP.

Speaking of skipped sex scenes, even the books you don’t like you learn from. You realize what didn’t work for you and you learn not to do that in your writing. For instance, I will never have a jet of anything shooting anywhere in my manuscripts.

And to think these were all books I was going to buy anyway! So are all my other writer’s books a complete crock and waste of money? I don’t think so, but I don’t think I’ve learned half as much from them as I have from my auto-buys and the books I cut my romantic teeth on.

What about you? If you’re a writer, what do you think has influenced you more? What books have you read that made you go: Damn, I wish I was this brilliant? If you’re a reader, what makes you keep going back to the authors you read? Is it anything specific? What makes you avoid some authors/genres? Do any particularly vivid scenes stick out in your mind that you wish you could have seen the book made into a movie? (I would have loved The Guardian or The Raider as a movie.)

When I started reading romance some twenty-*cough* years ago, there was no hopping on the internet to see what was next from my favorite author.  No website where I could find a quick list of the author’s backlist or read about her life with her husband, three crazy kids and two rambunctious dogs.  At the most I had a picture inside the back cover and the words between the pages as my only link to the source of the wonderful stories.

Today is very different.  Now it’s unheard of for an author not to have her own website.  Even a blog or bulletin board is necessary, and perhaps the most important tool for an author.  You see, I’ve found countless new authors through these public forums and in many cases, I was more moved to buy their work simply from their personality and generosity than through the blurb for their book. 

There are authors who make you laugh, authors who inspire you with their real life story, and authors who are just so dang nice you can’t help but root for them.  Even if the Captain hadn’t raved about Leslie Langtry, reading her blog would have convinced me to buy her books.  She is sarcastic, witty and funny as Hell.

 There’s Anna Campbell who wrote for 27 years (which makes her 29!) before selling her first book and what a book that was.  She’s now a double RITA nominee for her first two novels and I can think of no one more deserving of the honor.  So glad I’ll get to be there to cheer her on at the awards ceremony.  If you’re reading this Anna, I promise we won’t embarrass you TOO much.

Then there’s Toni Blake.  She’s one of those authors that is just so sweet and generous and always comes across as down to earth be it on blogs, bulletin boards or in email.  Even if you don’t like your romance hot enough to melt your bookmark, you want to buy her books just to support her.

But there can be a negative to all this.  You see, you can lose a reader just as quickly as you can gain ten.  I’ve had authors completely ignore me in a blog conversation and that’s enough for me not to buy or read their books.  I’ve seen an author leave a comment that seemed insulting or somehow condescending.  This is a deal breaker for me as well.

Anyone who has been communicating electronically for any period of time knows it’s a tricky business.  Tone doesn’t always convey in a few quick words typed on a screen.  The joke can be lost, the sarcasm not clear, or the response taken completely wrong.  It’s one thing when it’s two friends talking and it can eventually be cleared up.  It’s totally different when you’re an author and your virtual words mean just as much as the words you put in your books.

For you readers, do you get upset if your favorite author doesn’t have a website or doesn’t update their site very often?  Have you found authors in cyberspace you might not have picked up before?  Have you been turned off by an author based on something they did or didn’t do on a forum? (No names, please!)

For you as yet unpublished authors, do you have an internet presence (wenches – here’s your chance to promote your other web activities), are you counting on a web presence helping you sell both to an agent or editor and eventually to readers?  Published authors, what role does the internet play in your career and do you ever long for the days when all you had to do was write the books, make a couple of appearances and the occasional acceptance speech?

Disclaimer: There are countless authors I could have used in this blog including but not limited to the Original Squawkers (who gave us all the play book for this group blog thingy), the Romance Banditas, The Goddesses, and many more.  Special honorable mention goes out to Eloisa James who is solely responsible for getting me into this whole mess. *g*

With all the parties we throw around here, Bo the Bartender demanded I bring him in some kind of assistance.  I’m sure he meant get some of those tiny little waitresses in skimpy outfits.  But if he thinks that would ever happen, he’s smokin’ something.  In my all too generous way, I found two perfectly good, able bodied assistants for dear Bo.  Oh yeah…

Since you can never have too many margaritas, it was important to find someone to man the blender.  Brad here seems to have that well in hand.  Or maybe in lap.  Either way, the only problem I’ve found since adding Brad to the crew is the fight amongst the girls who gets to lick the pitcher.

With so many guests passing through the ship, I felt it important to provide really good room service.  I think it’s pretty obvious that Jason here is the man for the job.  Oh yeah, I’ll have a shot of Absolute….straight up.  As *ahem* talented as he is, I’m having a bit of trouble with how long it takes Jason to return to the Galley once he’s sent out on delivery.  For some reason, he’s often gone for hours.  The fact he’s usually found in my cabin means nothing.

We have such a great line up for the next two months.  First up, this Friday, we bring back one of our favorite guest bloggers and an honorary Pirate Wench Santa O’Byrne.  And I’m happy to say that Santa has agreed to help me send back updates from the RWA National Conference from San Francisco the first week of August.

On the schedule for June we have Toni Blake making a return visit on the 2^nd and my new best friend (at least until she sends back my pages with red slashes all over them) Loucinda McGary will be my first interview victi…err…..guest on Friday the 13th!  Loucinda is a regular at the Romance Bandits blog, has her own personal blog and is on a mission to hit every internet site she can possibly find before her debut book hits shelves Oct. 1.  Who are we to stand in the way of that?

July is going to be hot, hot, hot with Historical author Kimberly Killion on the 1^st, Erotica author Dee S. Knight on the 8^th and Contemporary Harlequin author Megan Kelly on the 15^th.  Clearly, RWR is the place to be this summer!

With Memorial Day (here in the US) only a week away being the unofficial signal that summer has begun, what kind of vacation/summer plans are in store for everyone?  Gas prices have you staying home?  Hitting the beach come Hell or $4 gas prices?  Or are you priming the AC and all set to hide in the house?

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Romeo and Juliet

Mad Annie Mizzenmast…I mean, the incomparable Annie West is sharing two of her books with two commenters from yesterday’s fabulous blog! The winners are:

KATHY: The Greek Tycoon’s Unexpected Wife

KELLY: For the Sheikh’s Pleasure (lucky girl, Arik is SO delicious!)

Thank you, everyone, who came yesterday and made Annie’s visit with us a wonderful one. And be sure to visit us again when she visits us with her next book: The Desert King’s Pregnant Bride.

Kathy & Kelly, email me (mshellion@gmail.com) with your snail mail addresses and I’ll forward them to Annie.

Well, the Captain spoke about sex scenes on Tuesday.  But, as I’m in the middle of writing my first one and that’s all I’ve been able to think about this week, I’m piggy-backing off her blog.  (I know, PIRATE!).

I said that my sex scene is all I’ve been able to think about this week, but that’s kinda not the truth.  I have spent this entire week trying not to think about my sex scene. 

It actually started last week.  I knew the scene was coming, but I’d been hoping when the time came, I could just go with the flow and let it take me.

Alas, that is not what has happened.

I got to “the point.”  You know, where we (me and my characters) knew it was time for them to get it on.  I got the whole scene set up the equivalent of writing foreplay, very romantic, but then, the awkwardness came.

I thought such things were left to real life first time encounters, but I was mistaken.

What do they do?  How do they really feel about each other?  If they were real people, how would they be reacting in this situation?

I didn’t know either.

I started to doubt myself.  What if I’d been writing a romance novel and my characters weren’t even that into each other?  It’s like that relationship where you invest all this time getting to know the other person on a metaphysical level only to find that they just don’t “do” it for you. 

Wait, has that only happened to me?   I digress.

Mostly, I fear writing my sex scene because I’m afraid that while I’m tearing down all the boundaries between my characters and stripping them raw for all the world to see, that I’m perhaps breaking down barriers between myself and every single person who reads my work. 

I am silly, sarcastic my fair share of the time, and self-deprecating more often than not.  When I write these things, I doubt I’ll be able to hide behind all that.  Will people be able to see ME in my words?

In other words, am I doing the writing equivalent of running naked in public?

My answer:  maybe.  Probably a little, but maybe not.  Who knows?  And I don’t think we as writers can ever worry about it or we’ll paralyze ourselves, shut ourselves off from our readers and make our writing ineffective.  If we want to connect with readers, we need to find those things that strike a universal chord.  And love, well, that’s a big one, the one that’s most important to me.  And sex, well, sex in my sex scene, if it’s with the right person (and my characters have found the right people) it should showcase love and get me closer to that goal.

Have you ever written a sex scene and if so, how’d it go?  How about streaking?  Not interested in that topic?  Ok, well, how about telling me what about writing makes you feel the most vulnerable?

I’m not sure what a mizzenmast is. We have Luke, Tristan, and Jack to look after the stateliness of the masts, impressing us with the magnificence of their erect…sorry, was having a Windflower moment there. Annie seems more the fun and carefree type to swing about a ship than board one, cutlass in her teeth.

After reading her amazing book, For the Sheikh’s Pleasure, I begged her to come interview with us when her next book came out, and guess what? Her new book is out! Available right now is: The Greek Tycoon’s Unexpected Wife, and if you haven’t already discovered Annie West, you need to discover her now. Pure GOLD.

So please welcome: Annie West!

Annie: Thanks so much for inviting me to be here, Hellion. It’s been lovely corresponding with you and I’m thrilled to be invited to your site. Fancy me being allowed into the pirate lair. Love it! I’ve always had a soft spot for buccaneers (as anyone who read my ‘Sheikh’s Ransomed Bride’ will know) so I’m very excited.

Hellion: Good! We’re excited to have you on board too. I could probably spend the next hour talking about the magnificence of my ship and crew, but…well…I want to talk about you and your books. You write the most amazing Harlequin Presents novels. Your characters are so detailed, alive; and your plot derives from character development. How do you work within the 200-250 page “limit” but still able to make the characters so well developed, we fill like we’ve grown up with them? (I’ve read some 400 page books where the author wasn’t able to do that!)

Annie: Hellion, you do know how to make a girl feel welcome, don’t you? I could sit and lap up this praise all day!

I think getting the feel for my characters is an area where I’ve improved. My first (unpublished) books were fairly heavily plotted and I wrote in line with what I’d planned, moving the characters like dolls along preordained routes. (Important Note: there’s nothing wrong with detailed plotting. If you write best like this, good on you!). Gradually though, I found that IF I had a good strong conflict between the hero and heroine, I could start writing with only a rough outline of what was going to happen. I’d jump into the opening (trying to choose a climactic moment of change) and ask myself several times a page ‘what is he/she thinking/feeling’? By focusing on a major, emotional event, where the stakes are high, I see my characters under stress. Sometimes they’ll respond to provocation in a certain way and I’ll wonder why. I go back to the information I’d jotted down about them and factor it in. Sometimes I’ll write an opening and that process of questioning why the character makes a stand or takes offence or runs away will throw up a whole new facet of their backstory, which then influences their later actions.

Having a good strong conflict helps enormously. If they both want something strongly, and that goal means the other character is definitely not the person they should hook up with, it makes the intensity so much stronger. Each needs to challenge the other in some way.

I write long then cut. When I revise I have to be ruthless, searching out paragraphs, sentences or even words that don’t add value. I look for characters saying the same thing in different ways (which mine do early on while I’m still sorting out their motivation). I look for sections where the reading slows or there’s little dialogue. By ripping out the nice, feel good stuff I enjoyed but which isn’t high stakes emotion or a new point that drives the plot forward, I can make it a lot tighter. I also look closely at my secondary characters and my transition scenes. If it’s not absolutely necessary (and you’d be surprised what isn’t) then I take it out.

Hellion: Dang, you are fierce with a cutlass! Question everything and go for the biggest emotional impact (and payoff). You make it sound easy! How long have you been writing; and what’s your Call Story?

Annie: I started writing about 12 years ago. Fortunately I found out about Romance Writers of Australia at the same time, so as I was writing my first book I was learning about submission processes and writing techniques. I found the support of other writers wonderful, plus I sold a couple of short stories which gave me hope that someone liked my writing. Finally I had a book accepted in 1999 by a small Aussie press. I was thrilled, overjoyed, ecstatic! The press closed the year after ‘Strictly Business’ came out due to distribution troubles. Then came the hardest part of all – feeling that I’d come close but not close enough. The editorial door was shut again. I tried writing for a few different lines and received very encouraging feedback, but never an acceptance. Eventually a kind editor spoke to me about my voice, which she enjoyed, and my writing, ditto, and the fact that neither fitted what they were seeking. As I’d tried all the publishers I thought would take my work, I was about to give up. My last fling was to write a book called ‘The Mistress Makeover’ for Harlequin Presents. I knew it wouldn’t succeed (I didn’t think I could write a good alpha hero) but after a writers’ workshop with Emma Darcy and Miranda Lee I was so enthused I had to try. The feeling of writing that story was incredible. The words flowed and I felt as if I’d come home. I felt that story as I never had before. It was still hard work but it felt right. A chunk of it placed in a contest but the editor didn’t request it. Nettled, I revised it again (I’d never revised so much) and sent it in to the slush pile. In early December 2005 I heard from Harlequin Mills and Boon that they wanted to buy it. I had to read the email 3 times before I believed it and I kept going back to the computer all day just to check I wasn’t hallucinating. The book was published a year later as ‘A Mistress for the Taking’.

Hellion: (You’re going to do great a keynote-speaking, if you haven’t been asked to do that yet. That’s a keynote story if I ever heard one!) You write the most breathtaking emotion. Is that just something that comes naturally to you, or do you layer it in with each draft? How many drafts do you write?

Annie: Wow, thanks, Hellion. That’s the loveliest compliment. Does it come naturally to me? It seems to but then maybe it’s something that’s developed over those long years of learning how to get a story down. The reason I’ve always loved a good romance (and a Presents story in particular) is that oomph of emotion – that physical whack of sensation in the solar plexus when you really feel for the characters and empathize with what’s happening to them – the highs and especially the lows. Maybe knowing that, I’ve always focused hard on trying to build that into the book. Not that it’s necessarily always easy, but it’s always been a priority for me.

I tend to get as much of that emotion as I can onto the page as I write the first draft. Sometimes it works better than others, but I’d much rather try to do that from the beginning than write something sketchy and return later to add the feelings in. To me those emotions are so integral they actually drive the scene and I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve intended to end a scene in a particular way, only to discover as I delve into the character’s feelings and their reactions to what’s happening, that something else entirely different (and much better) should happen. If I’d written a draft without that detail it wouldn’t be the characters driving the story, it would be me following a pre-determined plotline without their input. (I know this makes it sound like the characters are real in my head but it’s true). Attempting to include this emotional perspective from the start is also a great way to get to know your characters fast.

I do several drafts. I print off at least 3 versions for a complete read through, and some scenes get multiple makeovers. Later drafts have large chunks or chapters that are more or less untouched and other bits that have been reworked several times. If there’s a pacing problem, for instance, then I’ll hone in on that section and keep at it till I think it’s right. Some sections mightn’t change from the first draft. (I love those sections. There should be more of them).

Hellion: I wish I had more of those sections myself! *LOL* What is your new book (The Greek Tycoon’s Unexpected Wife) about, and what did you love most about writing it?

Annie: Most of all I loved the intensity of this story. For me that just sizzled, and I hope I managed to get some of that on the page. The emotions were so strong they drove the plot right from the start, even when I wasn’t sure what the plot was going to be. *grins* I was so excited when I first imagined Stavros and Tessa and the set up for this story. Stavros Denakis is a Greek tycoon with everything: wealth, power, status and a gorgeous fiancée. The night of his exclusive A-List party to celebrate his engagement he has an unexpected visitor – his wife. It was fun creating that appalling situation, then watching the fireworks go off! Stavros is used to getting his own way and he isn’t amused. He suspects his long lost wife is there to make trouble and milk him for cash. He and Tessa had only been together for the shortest of times, and he believed her dead. Now he realises he doesn’t know her at all. Tessa was great to write too, strong in a quiet, dignified way that makes him slowly rethink his attitude. To me they seemed to complement each other. The book is out now in North America as a mid month “Presents Extra” release.

Hellion: Awesome, I love the possible fireworks scenarios for that sort of scene! Hilarious! Stavros definitely sounds like a very broody, not to be thwarted hero. On your website, it says you always create “heroes who are always dark, brooding, demanding and extremely sexy” (of which I can concur!): have you always been in love with alphas? Who do you draw your inspiration from?

Annie: Ah, the quote from Penny Jordan. Isn’t it a ripper? I was so thrilled when I read that I had to put it on the site.

I love romances with heroes that sweep me right off my feet. I’d never thought about whether they were alphas before I started writing. I’ve enjoyed boy-next-door stories and others where the hero, though fantastic, wasn’t a really an alpha character, but there’s something about a strong hero (and I’m not necessarily talking about muscles) that always works for me. Interestingly, I used to think I couldn’t write an alpha hero (Anna Campbell, my crit partner, will remember me bemoaning the fact) till I tried my hand at it and loved it. What works best for me is a hero with a strong sense of honor, of right and wrong that he will abide by no matter what the cost to himself. That means my heroes aren’t the sort to throw their weight around for the sake of it. They have an inner core of decency that I can rely on even if sometimes their understanding of a situation may make them do something they later regret (and boy do they regret it). And I love a heroine who can stand up to the most powerful man around and hold her own! An alpha can have a touch of danger about him which fascinates me, especially as you wonder whether he’ll use the full force of that power to get what he wants.

Where do I get my inspiration? He laughs when I say it, but definitely my husband. Of course, I have to do a bit of additional research for my heroes – books and movies and fantastic leading men like Richard Armitage, Clive Owen and so on can definitely inspire. And, um, chocolate sometimes helps!

Hellion: Richard inspires us daily around here. Excellent research skills you have, Ms. West. *grins* Okay, now for a serious question: You’re marooned on an island and can only have one. Who would it be: Will Turner, Jack Sparrow or James Norrington?

Annie: All three! Oh dear, that makes me sound awful, doesn’t it? But I refuse to have just one. They all have something going for them. Don’t you think? Jack Sparrow has the presence, the panache, the bad boy charisma and he’d be a hoot to share a bottle of rum with. I might die of dehydration but I’d be laughing as I did. James Norrington – well I’ve always had a soft spot for the honorable, serious hidebound hero in hopes of uncovering the less straight-laced man beneath. Will Turner has grown on me. Between you and me I found him a little to, er, young for my taste but he matured beautifully and I love his absolute determination and jump-in-boots-and-all approach to life.

Hellion: *laughing* You’re definitely a pirate to take all three! And great justification for such greediness as well! Can you tell us what is coming out next for you?

Annie: Next is the ‘The Desert King’s Pregnant Bride’. It’s available in the UK in October, Australia/New Zealand in November and hopefully in North America soon after that (I’m waiting to hear). It’s about an ordinary, hardworking girl who works in a racing stable (I had fun researching that) who falls for an Arab prince with a difference. Khalid is scarred by his past but determined to do the right thing by the woman who is carrying his child. He’s strong, determined, honorable and not looking for love. It’s a marriage of convenience story…with a few twists. 

Hellion: Being you totally won me over with Sheikhs with the book you sent to me, I know this is going to be another winner. Plus, hello, horses. Okay, last question, then the crew can fire away. You and Anna Campbell (veteran Pirate) are good friends. Just what is a typical day with the two of you like when you get together?

Annie: Noisy! Anna, are you there? I’m smiling just thinking about us having a day together. Anna and I don’t live near each other so getting together is a real treat. A typical day would be talking too much, eating too much and washing it all down with something tasty. We wake early and chat while still in our PJs, which is brilliant. Sometimes breakfast and getting dressed don’t happen for hours or breakfast will turn into lunch. Often there’s critiquing, during which time Anna is positively dangerous (she’s been known to wave a cutlass at me when excited). We talk about plots or treat ourselves to an outing. Often we’ll end up people watching or window shopping (including looking in exclusive stores for stunning shoes for my heroine who’d landed herself a role as a rich man’s mistress). One of the best things about our days together is our tradition of great waterfront (of course) lunches. Before our ‘big breaks’ we promised ourselves a harbourside lunch to celebrate the acceptance of each new book. I pictured us giggling as we spoke about our books. Now we get to do it for real, not just imagine it!

Hellion: Thank you, Annie, you’ve been a wonderful interviewee! Okay, crew, fire away! What questions have you for Mad Annie Mizzenmast…er, I mean, the incomparable Annie West?

I’m currently revising Girl on a Grecian Urn, and am stuck at the sex scene.  

Clearly performance anxiety isn’t limited to just real life. In fact, I think I might have a bit more performance anxiety at this moment. After all, if it sucks in real life, it’s over in, what, five, six minutes? But that sex scene will live in infamy forever. I mean, it could be the breaking part of an accept or deny from a publisher. “I loved everything but your crappy sex scenes. No thanks.”

Though I think the possibility of a publisher saying they think my heroine’s breasts are dead is unlikely—and that would be an improvement over some real life encounters—the thought of being bad in the sack on paper is a new scope of demoralizing.

Now mind you, I’ve written the scene. So it’s not like I’m a sex scene virgin; it’s just that the first draft is so godawful, I’m scrapping and going again. And my 2^nd, 3^rd, and 4^th attempts haven’t been producing anything Kleypas or Hoyt-worthy. And it’s an irony because Livie has such a great time with Ben, you’d think the scene would be a bit more readable. But no.

One of the suggestions they make about writing a sex scene is to do it all at once. Drink some wine, write it all…but I’ve not been able to do this yet. I get about two pages, get bored with them (and apparently with what they’re doing), and decide I’d rather just turn over and go to sleep. (Wine always puts me out like that. As does bad sex, incidentally.)

So while thinking about today’s blog…and my lack of writing (and motivation) lately, I dug through my personal horde of writer’s quotations for inspiration:

Writing a novel is like creeping along on your belly with shells exploding around you. It’s only occasionally that there’s a ceasefire and you can get up and run.

~Monica Ali

That’s kinda what I feel like. I feel like if I was crawling any slower through my revisions I would be going backwards, and all around me are shells exploding, encouraging me to bury myself deeper in the mud and just wait until ceasefire comes. But that’s no good. By the time a ceasefire shows up, I may have forgotten how to run.

And I’m so fixated on finishing these revisions, that working on my “new” WIP is just as demotivating. It’s sad when you’d rather go back to the folders on your desk, because at least you know how to staple. *sighs*

Because I need to get back on track and write, I found some Demotivator posters to inspire everyone.

And if anyone can give me any new tips on how to make my sex scenes readable, please let me know.

Is anyone else waiting for a ceasefire? Anyone else trying to figure out how to turn their manuscript into an inspirational—even with the hero married to someone else? (Yeah, no dice there either. Thought not.) Anyone else read Hoyt’s new book and loved it? (I found like three spots that were so lifted from Last of the Mohicans, I nearly fell out of bed laughing. She should not have mentioned she watched that movie over and over again. I’m just waiting until I’m published and someone goes, “OMG, she totally ripped that out of POTC!”) That aside, I think it was a great book. And a lovely way to pass the time and not do revisions.

I’m a blog addict.  I freely admit it.  Besides having my own personal blog and being responsible for two days a week on this one, I visit way more blogs than I should on a daily basis.  Well, weekdays anyway.  This addiction has its pros and cons. 

We’ll start with the cons.  All the time I spend reading and commenting on blogs takes away from time doing actual work.  Lucky for me, my company is pretty laid back and I manage to get by.  The time I spend on blogs also distracts me from the writing.  Though if we’re being honest, everything distracts me from the writing.

Now we move to the pros.  I’ve met some incredible people through these blogs.  Published and As Yet Unpublished (as the Banditas call it) authors alike, they are all amazing, inspiring, and entertaining.  I’ve picked up tips about writing, plotting, networking and promoting.  And I’ve found laughs when I really needed them.  But maybe the best pro of all is the prizes.  I’ve won loads of books, few of which I need, but many of which I never would have picked up on my own.  So I’ve had my horizons broadened even if I’ve had my shelves overwhelmed.

But the prizes are not always books.  A couple of weeks ago I won a t-shirt from Christie Craig and last week I won something even better.  I won a critique from a published author.  Romance Bandit Loucinda McGary is going to critique part of my WIP.  Hence, my hyperventilating.

I’ve gone through a litany of emotions since finding out.  The Captain can tell you of my raving mad emails.  I mean, I’m not ready for this.  My stuff isn’t ready for this.  What if she reads it and realizes I’m a total fraud?! *ducks the various rum bottles hurled at my head*

But I’m feeling better about things since I’ve had time to process them.  Though I’m not sure how hard it’s going to be to hit that send button when the moment arrives, I will do it. And I’m kind of excited about it.  I’ve put my heart into this story, I’ve gotten good feedback and I think she’s going to like it.  Plus, she can give me important pointers that will make the story that much better.

How do you feel about showing your work to others?  Have you put it out there only to have your heart broken by what you got back?  Have you entered contests and sent out submissions getting lots of compliments and positive feedback?  Or do you guard every word with your life, still not ready to let it fly on its own?  If you don’t let it leave the nest, you’ll never know how far it can go.

When we were designing this new ship, one of the things we insisted upon was good plumbing.  I realize running water on a pirate ship probably sounds rather odd, be we’re very progressive pirates.  And the water is right there.  A very high-tech filtering system (we could tell you how it works if we knew but we don’t so we can’t) and an even higher-tech water heater (again who knows how this works) combine to provide the Romance Writers Revenge with working showers, a hot tub and a sauna.  All essential for writing pirates to stay motivated.

But having plumbing means we needed someone to take care of the new systems.  Regular tests, filter changes and some other, high-tech, tool requiring tasks have to be done.  And to be honest, when you have a plumber that looks like this, you don’t really mind those plumber pants.

This is Pete the Pirate Plumber.  He’s very thorough.  And he’s such a giver, he doesn’t mind letting us test the showers with him.  And he doesn’t ask questions when our shower head massagers have to be replaced monthly.

Thanks to everyone who came by last week to visit with Colette Gale. This week, we have another great author on the schedule.  Wednesday, May 14, the crew welcomes Harlequin Presents/Mills & Boon author Annie West to take the helm and sail us into Billionaire, Greek Tycoon, and Sheikh infested waters.  Let me tell you, if you’re looking for some major Alpha males, Annie writes them.  So mark your calendar now.

And don’t forget next week we bring back one of our favorite guest wenches, Santa O’Byrne on Friday, May 23.  Now, everybody in, the hot tub is open for business!  Oh, and Pete is already in checking the water temp.

Hey, you don’t have to knock me down, you trampy lushes…..