The winners of the *HAWT* Colette Gale books are:

KATHY

&

GILLIAN

Just contact Colette at her website. I’ve already told her who the winners were. Just mention me and she’ll put your booty in the mail!

Congratulations, guys!!!

Today is all about fun, relaxation, and girl time. Well almost…

I’m not so sure watching greyhounds race down a dirt track is the epitome of fun, but I’m not at work, and I have a drink in my hand.

By now, you are all probably wondering how this is related to writing- brace yourselves for the big reveal.

Today is not only a girl’s day out, but also research for my WIP. I’m planning a gambling scene in Picture This (tentative title). Today I am a sponge, all pertinent action, such as placing a bet, reaction of winners, and dirty little jokes told throughout the day will be filed away for future reference.

It doesn’t matter where you are during your free time, everything around you can be resourceful. I always carry a mini notebook and a pen at all times. I have recorded scenes at ballgames, church picnics, shopping malls, and even the grocery store. I think like a writer no matter what role I am currently playing in my life. Some of the funniest dialogue, and situations come from places you least expect.

Saturday night our family is attending the WWE Wrestlemania. It’s an early birthday present for my eight-year-old son. I am not a fan of wrestling, but have you ever suffered through anything for the sake of your child’s pleasure? I’m not planning a wrestling scene in my WIP, but part of the story takes place in redneck territory so I’m going armed with pen and notebook. I may get a lot of curious looks, and harassment from my son, but if life gives you a ring of wrestlers, wield a pen and record the action.

I won’t be around to comment today but I’ll catch up by late afternoon.

Cheers!

I make Thanksgiving dinner for my husband’s family every year.  Well, except the year I was in the hospital delivering my son.  They let me off the hook that year.  Usually the total guest list stretches to between 12-15 people.  I make a huge meal: turkey, stuffing, and all the trimmings.  Preparing the sheer mass of food can be a daunting process.  But, I manage and before I know it we all tuck in.  Then, in a sickeningly short period of time (consider it takes me days to get the food there in the first place), we all sit there, full, sleepy, and happy specimens of gluttony.

When I start preparations for Thanksgiving dinner, I generally feel like I’ll never get it all finished in time.  Let’s face it, Thanksgiving, though ridiculously yummy, is a high-maintenance, high-preparation, and high-stress meal.  Well, unless you’re parked on the couch watching football as my culinarily-deficient husband, then it’s not so bad.

But, for me, it’s a huge undertaking. 

As is the process of writing my novel.

I approached writing my novel similar to the way I approach Thanksgiving dinner.  I wrote lists and I tried to visualize accomplishing all the tasks necessary to finishing.

I’ve encountered similar obstacles as I do while making Thanksgiving dinner.   I swing viciously between annoyance that it is taking so long to get finished and giddiness that it’s almost done.  At times, I doubt that I’ll ever get it done and then I buckle down and attempt new and more efficient techniques.

This entire roller coaster has made me appreciate the value of micro-thinking.  If I stand back and stare at where I am in the course of my WIP, I start to get overwhelmed by whatever emotion has been riding so close to the surface.  Whether that’s doubt, elation, or plain old confusion, looking at the writing of a novel from a macro perspective can be daunting, the same way looking at preparing a huge meal for 12-15 can be daunting.

But, if I break down the huge task into smaller tasks, it becomes more doable.  In my novel, I have tried to focus on the goal of each scene separately and let the huge task of WRITING THE NOVEL take care of itself.

I’ve accomplished Thanksgiving each year by breaking it into smaller tasks.  Who says it can’t work for my story?

And I hope that at the completion of this process I feel pride and satisfaction that dwarfs the pride and satisfaction of a successful dinner party.

How do you keep the huge task of writing from overwhelming you?  Do you (even you panters) focus on scene goals?  Ever thrown a huge dinner party?  Got any tips for me?  (Hey, I’m a pirate; it’s in my nature to use you as a resource.)

Welcome, Colette Gale aboard the RWR. She is joining us today, on the day of her new release Master, to tell us about the ins and out of writing erotica. Please give a hearty welcome to Colette! *yelling and screaming*

What I love most about her books is that she writes from characters we know and love–and gives them the happy endings we wished for them. (Anyone as unhappy as I was about Phantom of the Opera? She fixed it! And she did it with lots of hot, spicy scenes. Good thing my sheets are flame-retardant. Had to get those after Jack arrived….)

The first time I watched Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera, I was entranced. I loved it! I cried at the end, though, when Christine chose to go with Raoul instead of the Phantom. After all, it was obvious to me that they belonged together.

I saw the play over and over through the years, and its soundtrack became one of my favorites. When the movie version, starring Gerard Butler, came out, I hoped….hoped!…that Webber would give me that happy ending.

Alas, he did not.

So I set out to write my own happy ending…and that was my first foray into writing erotica.

I’ve always been a fan of erotic novels–I count among some of my favorite reads The Story of O, Ann Rice’s Sleeping Beauty series, and Bertrice Small’s ground-breakiing Skye O’Malley saga (ground-breaking because it was erotica, but marketed and sold as part of the romance genre).

All of these books influenced my writing when I sat down to work on what later came to be officially titled Unmasqued: An Erotic Novel of the Phantom of the Opera….but at the time was, really, just an experiment for me. Could I write erotica?

Well, apparently, I can, since my second erotic novel, Master: An Erotic Novel of the Count of Monte Cristo is released today!

So how and where do I get these ideas? Do my husband and I have a harp in our bedroom? Have we done all these things?

Er. Without divulging too much information…no. Sorry.

Just as writers of psychological thrillers, who often get inside the heads of their murderers–and victims–couldn’t possibly have done those things, so can I say that, no. Only in my fantasies.

Here’s the important thing about erotica: it is fantasy. Remembering that is key. Just because I (or you) fantasize about something doesn’t mean we really would want it to happen. Just because we have fantasies about forced seduction, bondage, menage a trois, etc., doesn’t mean that we would really indulge in those activities…although there are certainly people who do put their fantasies into play.

But my erotic novels are also romances at the very heart. There is one man and one woman who ride off into their Happily Ever After at the end of the book. That’s part of the story–that’s why I wrote Unmasqued and Master.

And even though there is a lot of sex (a lot of sex) in the books, every single sex scene has a purpose. It moves the plot and it demonstrates the relationship between the two main characters. Or, in the subplots that happen around the hero and heroine. In fact, my rule of thumb is: at least one orgasm per chapter. Someone gets the happy at least once in each chapter–and it’s not always the hero or heroine.

In fact, in my books, the hero and heroine can and do interact with other characters…but…and here’s the very subtle place where I draw the line: they never have intercourse with anyone but each other.

A very subtle split of hairs, I know, but that’s where the line is drawn.

So. I’m very excited to announce the release of my second erotic novel, Master, based on Alexandre Dumas’s The Count of Monte Cristo. It is a revenge love story and I absolutely loved writing it. I think it’s my favorite book, even moreso than the Phantom book because this one has three love stories entwined in it.

I’m late getting this blog post to the ship, so in apology, I’d like to offer a copy of Unmasqued and also a copy of Master as prizes today…along with my heartfelt apology for my tardiness, my thanks to the Yoho Ladies for having me, and my promise to stick around an answer ANY questions you might have!

Thanks so much for having me!

Colette

With my lifestyle, I often feel out of control.  I’m always juggling a half dozen things while trying to stay up on a rolling log.  With a life like that, it’s not easy to feel stable nevermind feel in control.  What I have to do from time to time is stop everything and figure out where I am.

This also applies to writing.  Whether you’re a plotter, a pantser, a plantser or a writer with the perfect process, you still have to take a breath from time to time and figure out where you are.  This weekend, an email from a friend *cough*captain*cough* reminded me I was in desperate need of figuring out where I am in this writing thing.

Where I am is 73 pages into a 300-something page book that has been going around in my head for more than a year and been restarted twice.  I have two great characters who have only just begun the journey to their HEA and constantly bug the crap out of me to stop ignoring them. 

I have a heroine who wants more out of life, but doesn’t like quick change.  She likes to ease into things slowly, always with a back up plan in place.  She’s really going to hate me.

I have a hero who has taken a major blow in his personal life and has decided to focus all of his energy on his career as a chef.  The last thing he wants is any distractions, especially a woman complicating things.  He’s really going to hate me.

What I have is a book in desperate need of being written, a story in desperate need of being told, and a home in desperate need of a maid.  Since I have four other stories waiting not-so-patiently in the back of my mind, I’d better give up on the maid thing (although I could so find room for Christian the Cleaning Boy) and get to the storytelling. 

Where are you?  Are you struggling along trying to figure out who your characters are and what they want?  Are you drowning in revisions and hating life right now?  Or are you sending that beautiful MS out there into the world hoping someone will snap it up?  If you’re a reader, do you have trouble fitting those books into your busy schedule or do you figure those dirty dishes can wait until morning?

This ship is a mess.  What with all us Pirates jetting off to conferences and booksignings, workshops and historical sites.  We’ve just been to dang busy to polish the hoistings or dry clean the sails or swab the decks.  I really have no idea if those are things you do on a ship (except that swabbing thing) but you get my point.  We need a maid. 

But with this crew, I knew I couldn’t hire just any maid.  A maid for this ship has to be special.  Highly qualified.  In other words…..HOT.  And I do believe I found the perfect applicant.

This is Christian the Cleaning Boy.  I realize boy might not be the appropriate term, but he doesn’t seem to mind what I call him as long as I call it out loud and clear.  I never thought of myself as a screamer but let me tell you…..errrr…….nevermind.

Don’t forget this Tuesday the RWR crew is proud and excited to welcome Colette Gale to the ship.  Ms. Gale is the Erotica author of the much acclaimed, Unmasqued, a sensual and sexy new take on The Phantom of the Opera.  Her latest is Master, a powerful retelling of the story of The Count of Monte Cristo.  We hope you’ll come by and help us give Ms. Gale a warm Pirate welcome!

Now, anybody else suddenly feeling the urge to polish a knob?

This past Saturday I attended my first writer’s conference sponsored by the local chapter of RWA. I asked a friend to attend the conference and our plans were all set. Two days before the conference my friend discovered she was on call, and had to cancel. I can relate to Sin’s cold feet. During the 45-minute drive to the conference, I almost turned around four times.

I am so glad that I didn’t.

I attended workshops held by an agent, two publishers, two published authors, and an ATF agent. A lot of the information I already knew, but each workshop gave me important insight into the world of writing from a perspective I’ve never viewed before. The speakers discussed everything from writing a query letter to deciding the genre to classify your WIP.

The ATF agent discussed weapons, and the ATF’s relationship with other law enforcement divisions such as the FBI, CIA, and Homeland Security. Overall it was very informative, and he provides a future resource if I ever need further research for my WIP.

During the workshop writers pitched their WIP to the agent and publishers. They also offered an open critique of any writer’s work who wished to participate. It’s a very unnerving experience to sit in a room of 45 writers and have the first two paragraphs of your WIP read in front of an agent and two publishers. I received some compliments and very helpful constructive criticism, so I was very pleased.

Raelene Gorlinski from Ellora’s Cave Publishing presented the most entertaining workshop of the day. She shared some of the terms for anatomy in submissions she had received. Of course since it’s Friday, and I am such an enlightening individual, I’ll list a few for your enjoyment. I warn you to swallow all liquids and empty your bladder before continuing.

Icky Euphemisms for Vagina and Clitoris

1. aching oozing entrance

2. southernmost slippery lips

3. inflamed seeping tunnel

4. contracting crease

5. bloated pulsing bud

6. constricted, battered hole

And my personal favorite

7.drenched, hair topped cavern

Penis

1. buffeting brick of a bat

2. engorged cylindrical monster

3. object of her oral affection

4. near-spurting spear

5. torturous tube

6. ready to pop pole

And my personal favorite

7. albino boa constrictor

Ms. Gorlinski also shared other important information such as never use words like inflamed or bloated to describe sex organs-those are unpleasant not sexy. Dead bodies are bloated.

For historical writers it is proper to use the word cunny for female anatomy because it was appropriate for the time period. Marnee, you can thank me later. I know this saved you hours of research.

I thought I’d share some acceptable terms for male and female anatomy according to EC guidelines that sounded a little odd to me, but then again, I don’t get out much.

Appropriate Anatomy Terms According to EC Guidelines

Vulva- quim and woman flesh.

Scrotum- ballocks, and cod

Penis- tumescence, harness( woah Nellie!), blade

Clitoris- bundle, button, pearl

 Terms That Are Less Than Endearing (Terms not to call your Heroine or Hero.)

Angel puss

Sugar booger

Puddle pooper

Fudgey

And never use “little” when referring to anything about a man. (Go figure) 

I really hate to end the wealth of important information I’ve learned, but I don’t want to over load your reservoir of prolific terms.

Have a great weekend.

One of the things I love about writing is that it makes me the queen.  I rule over my realm of created characters and fictional situations, equal parts merciful and merciless.  If my characters act up, I can push them around in the manner of Bill Cosby in Himself:  “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don’t make no difference to me, I’ll make another one look just like you.”

Ah…  it’s good to be the queen.

When I added paranormal twists to my plot, I started to feel less like the monarch of my own little kingdom and more like Dr. Frankenstein.  Before I knew it I was creating characters that were amalgamations of historical uptight misses and butt-kicking witches. 

I debated introducing paranormal elements into my WIP for quite a while before I gave in.  I admit that part of the reason I had such an internal debate was the sheer work involved.  I mean, I already had all of the Regency research to contend with.  And, as mentioned in my blog of a couple weeks ago, I still have a ways to go with that.   Now I would have to define the limitations of my witches.  What can they do and what can’t they do?  Can they cast spells?  Can they create potions?  If not, why not?   Can they use their magic whenever or are there rules?  What rules?

I also had to think about how these powers will change my heroine’s outlook on the world.  Would she be timid, afraid of having others discover her secret?  Would she be stronger than the average Regency miss because of her powers?  Probably both, I think.  So how does all that play out when it interacts together?

Yeah, beats me too.

But, this week I started thinking that maybe I would have to do this sort of world building no matter what genre or time period I wrote in.  We all have to figure out how our character’s personality traits interact together and how that interaction then interacts with the “real world.”  It’s a matter of answering all the questions, all the hows and whys and what ifs, that makes the world we create the rich place our readers will want to live in for a few hours.

I guess the price of being queen is that I have to be Dr. Frankenstein sometimes too.  I think I can handle that.

What questions have you found the hardest to answer in the course of your world building?   What questions or obstacles to world building do you think are unique to your subgenre?