*dun dun dun dun dadun dun dun dun dun dadun*

Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to write a Romance novel.  Don’t be fooled by how simple this sounds.  There will be many who work against you.  Your greatest enemy is the evil I.E.  She’s sly, unpredictable, and as mean as they come.  She’ll throw up road blocks, make you doubt your skills, and leave you crying in your rum if you let her.

Then there’s I.E.’s second in command, the Regulator.  Don’t let the taped glasses and scrawny frame fool you.  The Regulator is the keeper of *the rules*.  He’ll tell you over and over these supposed rules cannot be broken.  You must stay strong and keep writing.  Rules were made to be broken.  Break them and move on.

Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security once you’ve silenced the Regulator.  Because the next villain is always waiting around the corner.  The dreaded Big Chill.  The Big Chill wants everything cold.  No sexual tension.  No sizzle.  No sex.  Whatever you do, don’t let the Big Chill win.  Close the door on the sex if you must, but don’t lose the sizzle or the mission is over.

This mission requires all of your covert skills.  You must get inside your character’s minds.  Know what they think, how they feel, and most of all their greatest fears.  You must test them, torture them, tempt them to touch the fire.  You must raise the stakes.  Throw obstacles in their way and make them choose between fear and love. 

Yes, you see now why this is your greatest and most difficult mission.  Love is the prize.  The most desired and illusive treasure in the world.  It’s fickle yet steadfast.  Fragile yet resilient.  Free yet always comes with a price. 

Now, do you accept this mission?  If you do, how do you plan to defeat these evil villains.  And once these villains have been slain, will you be ready to face the next wave of terror – the Editor, the Publisher, and the Reviewer?