*ship is abuzz with rumors of THE Teresa Medeiros being interviewed today; as a cabin door opens, the buzz dies and out of the dark depths emerges*

 

Captain Jack Sparrow: *waxing the left side of his mustache with one hand, he staggers over to a big cushy chair and sits* ‘Ello me lovelies, have you missed me? It has been a while since I’ve been above to visit you; but I insisted to Hellion that I should be the one to do the interview today. Therefore, it is my very great honor to present you our guest of honor, NYT’s bestseller and beloved romance author, Teresa Medeiros!

 

*much clapping and screaming from crew and fans; Hellion spies Teresa and faints where she stands*

 

CJS: *pointing at Hellion* Is she still doing that?

 

Bos’n: ‘Fraid so. *helping Hellion to stand again, who looks faintly confused to be on the floor again and is rubbing her head*

 

CJS: *turning to Teresa and taking her hand to lead her to the chair across from him; he kisses her hand* Thank you, Teresa. It really is wonderful of you join us today. We’ve been buzzing about it for months….

 

Teresa:  *sits and offers Jack her other hand to kiss as well* I’d heard you were “buzzed,” Captain, but I thought that had more to do with the jug of rum in your hand. *crewmembers laugh, CJS looks…not the least abashed*

 

CJS: *his devilish smirk in place* Witty as well as beautiful. *kissing her other hand in an unseemly manner; sitting back down* So, let’s get the important question out of the way, shall we? Your fans are dying to know. Your eighteenth book, Some Like It Wicked, hit the shelves July 29^th; all of your books have been national bestsellers; and you’re a seven time RITA finalist: just how many times did you watch Pirates of the Caribbean? And will I get to play a part in any of your future novels? You know everyone loves a pirate. You could revisit that Thief of Hearts setting, you know. Everyone loves a sequel!

 

Teresa: I’ve lost count of the number of times I watched Pirates. I think Pirates and The Mummy both did an amazing job of bringing historical romance to vivid and pulse-pounding life. And it’s ironic that you would be chattering on and on about yourself because I’m already telling people that Simon, the hero of Some Like It Wicked, is a cross between Captain Jack Sparrow and Sawyer from Lost with a spritzer of Cary Grant splashed in to liven up the mix.  And it’s also amazing that you should mention Thief of Hearts because the first time I watched Pirates, I noticed a definite similarity between Captain Doom’s ship in Thief and the Black Pearl.  As far as I’m concerned, pirates are like a good Chanel suit.  They never go out of style!  

 

CJS: *tugging on the cuff of his jacket, flicking lint off his sleeve* Indeed. As I mentioned before, Some Like It Wicked, hit the shelves July 29^th. What is this book about? What is your favorite part about this book?

 

Teresa:  After doing the two vampire books, I’m celebrating my return to the Regency historical with Some Like It Wicked.  My heroine, Catriona Kincaid, goes looking for a hero but finds a man. Sir Simon Wescott is languishing in Newgate Prison when she asks him to escort her to the Highlands to help her find her missing brother and restore the honor of her clan.  She offers him both wealth and freedom but Simon has a more sensual prize in mind.  And of course my favorite part of the book is Simon, who’s a very bad boy but a real good man *Teresa gives CJS a knowing wink*.

 

CJS: *smirks back knowingly* Simon! I think I’ve met him. Complete pirate. The wenches here are going to go mad reading your novel, I can tell. It will be all I can do to keep up with them. *grins wickedly* And for that, I thank you. How important is a character’s name, do you think? I mean, clearly, I don’t believe my name could have been anything but *turns and smolders at the camera* Captain. Jack. Sparrow. *turns back and smolders at Teresa* But I’m curious if there was a special process you went through in picking out names? I did notice in your many, many novels a particular dearth of rakish heroes named Jack, for instance. Any particular reason why?

 

Teresa:  I have to confess that I’ve always had a fondness for those sweep-you-away classic romance names like Sebastian (Heather and Velvet), Gabriel (Yours Until Dawn) and Simon.  I’m not bashing the John’s, Edward’s and Jack’s of the world, mind you.  I think there was a rather famous “Jack” featured in Lisa Kleypas’s Suddenly You and one of my favorite heroes of all-time—besides you, of course—is Jack Bauer of 24.   

 

CJS: *grinning rakishly at her* Those dimples of yours are beguiling. *leans forward, looking at her through his eyelashes* What are the necessary things every hero must have? What is your favorite kind of hero to create? And do they look anything like me?

 

Teresa:   I look for the same qualities in a hero that I look for in a man—intelligence and a sense of humor.  There’s nothing sexier than a man who can make you laugh or who can laugh at himself.  And my favorite hero to create is a dangerous one. To me, the main conflict in a romance should always be between the hero and heroine so if the hero doesn’t pose an emotional (and sometimes physical) threat to the heroine, then the story loses steam. I like to write about men who have the power to either kiss or kill the heroine but who end up being unable to resist the kiss.  To me, that’s where the true emotional power of the story lies. 

 

CJS: Danger is my middle name, lass. No worries. *lounging back indolently* You frequently go to the RWA conferences, do you not? Can you tell us a little about what it’s like to attend one? And if Hellion ever gets to go to one, will it be okay if she stalks you? (She did it to me; she’s really completely harmless.) Of course, she’ll have a better time, I think, if she stops fainting. She’s going to give herself a coma.

 

Teresa:  *peering nervously around to see if Hellion is still lurking behind the potted plant* I’ve been attending the annual RWA conference since 1989 when I was (cough, cough) twelve. They have wonderful workshops where you can learn everything you need to know about writing and publishing.  The only problem now is that I never have time to go to any of them!  I’m too busy being wined and dined by my publisher and agent and eating and drinking with my friends.  Oh, wait a minute—that’s not a problem, is it?  It’s the best slumber party in the world! 

 

CJS: Maybe I should go to a conference. I love slumber parties! I, of course, am your biggest fan. (I am, for understandable reasons, most partial to Thief of Hearts; however, Nobody’s Darling is perhaps my second favorite, because of the “éclair scene”.) Do you have a particular book that is your favorite, or can you not bear to pick only one? Hellion’s favorite scene (she raves about it constantly) is in Whisper of Roses when Enid and Ranald get caught having sex. Which is ironic since she never laughed when we were caught having….

 

Teresa: Hellion! *turning to gape at the plant*  I’m shocked!  I would have sworn you were as pure as one of my heroines before she meets one of my heroes! 

 

Crewmembers: *laughing hysterically at thought that Hellion’s a virgin*

 

Hellion: Well, I wouldn’t say pure. But I wouldn’t say, impure either.

 

CJS: The priest didn’t understand your logic either, darling. Go back to your plant. *Hellion sticks her tongue out at Jack and releases the fronds*

 

Teresa: *turning back from the plant, looking bemused* And ah, yes, Billy Darling from Nobody’s Darling remains one of my all-time favorite heroes.  It’s the rocking chair scene I remember with great fondness *eyes glaze over as she sighs wistfully*.  And I can’t pick a favorite book because that would be like picking a favorite child.  I love each of them for different reasons. I love the dinner party scene where the lobsters escaped in Once An Angel and I’m very partial to Yours Until Dawn because I was so terribly, achingly in love with Gabriel by the time the book ended. And I have to humbly confess to sharing your fondness for Thief of Hearts.  I still swoon a little when I listen to Captain Doom’s theme (Unforgiven by Metallica).    

 

CJS: That sounds like my theme-song as well. I swear, you do a little light thievery and piracy and no one lets you forget it. How are you able to balance both sides of your writing life: the writing and the business? Those aspects seem completely opposite of each other. And how do you keep on top of fan mail, promotion, and all the other stuff that seems to be forgotten when newbies are pursuing the writing dream? (What was your biggest shock to adjust to in the writing business?)

 

Teresa:  I think the internet has brought a tremendous amount of work into the writing life that wasn’t there before. The best thing to do is compartmentalize the writing and keep it away from the promo aspects of the job as much as possible because it’s two separate sides of the brain.  I can no longer write on ANY computer that has a connection to the internet.  So instead of working in my beautiful office, I end up crammed into a corner of the bedroom writing on my laptop. (I like to think of it as “the magic box where I keep my book.”)  I think it’s very easy to get swept up in the promotion of your work, but you have to remember that if you don’t write, there won’t be anything to promote.  Balance is essential!  

 

CJS: I strive for balance in everything but my rum consumption. I could interview you all day. You’ve been such a wonderful guest, and so informative; however, I think we only have time for one more question before I turn it over to the crew for their questions and comments: Which of the POTC movies did you enjoy most and why?

 

Teresa: I’d have to say the first movie because you know what they say, Jack–There’s nothing like the first time!

 

CJS: *waxing his mustache in a happily embarrassed gesture* Indeed, luv, indeed. *turning to crew* Okay, your turn: what have you to ask THE Teresa Medeiros?