I have been having a love/hate relationship with my first page.

This week, it’s more hate than love.

A first page has to drag the reader under and make them not want to come up for a breath.  It needs to be smooth.  It needs to be compelling and enticing.   It needs to have them begging for more.

Sadly, mine is bumpy, boring, and begs for the lighter to incinerate that puppy.

Ok, ok, it isn’t that bad.  But it isn’t perfect yet either. 

I have already cut off (between first-first draft and currently first draft) about three pages.  I wanted to get right to the action.  But I’ve been debating cutting off even more. 

I read everywhere that agents/editors can tell so much about you in the first pages.  And I want my pages to tell them whatever it is they need to hear to get them to sign me up.

My love affair with my first line has also taken a sour turn.  Not that I am in severe hatred of it, but it just isn’t right yet. 

“At the witching hour, Miss Corinne Wagner employed her supernatural powers for a pressing task: silencing her grumbling belly.”

 It’s certainly no “Call me Ishmael.”

 On the positive side, it tells a lot about my story.  It says my heroine has magic powers.  Sort of important to know.  And, it expresses my light tone.  My witches aren’t dark or brooding, so I wanted to give that away quickly.

 On the negative side, it doesn’t have the punch I wish it had.

One of my CPs told me that I will likely never love my first page.  I’d imagine, in her infinite wisdom, that she’s right.  But I’ve reached obsessive proportions.  I can’t help myself from tweaking it again and again, hoping that I stumble across the exactly right configuration.  Then, maybe, I’ll stop.

 So, what’s your first line?  How has it changed?  And if you don’t feel like sharing, what do you like best in first lines?  Any other famous first lines that really strike you?