Archive for November, 2008

Four Hottie Sundays of Christmas

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

The countdown now begins.  We’ve all gorged ourselves on turkey, rum balls, rum cake, and rum & cokes, and we’ve tested our courage by hitting the stores on the busiest shopping day of the year.  Now it’s time to gear up for the big day.  This is going to take lots of motivation and positive reinforcement, so to help us all out, today begins the official Four Hottie Sundays countdown.  Here’s our first installment.

 

 

The lower decks were getting way too messy so I hired this stable boy to help us out.  Because I’m always there to help, I’ve already volunteered to help him with the clean up efforts.  Things down below will be spit and polished in no time. ;)

 

 

Mark your calendar now for this Friday, December 5, when Pamela Clare will be our guest Pirate for the day talking about her latest release, Untamed.  Untamed is the second in the MacKinnon’s Rangers Trilogy set during the period known as the French and Indian War.  Anyone who has ever swooned over Daniel Day Lewis in Last of the Mohicans is going to want to read this.  Even if you’re not a fan of the movie, how can you resist this cover?!

Happy Thanksgiving from the RWR Crew!

Thursday, November 27th, 2008

Just a quick note to wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving Day.   We are incredibly thankful for you, our gentle readers, because you stop by faithfully.  Your unbending support keeps us afloat here.

So thank you, from your pirates.

What We’re Thankful For: A Heartwarming RWR Dialogue

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Sin: [in hammock, drinking a frozen margarita] What? We’re blogging today? But it’s Thanksgiving. I thought we were taking the day off now that we’ve pulled into port. Has anyone told you you’re a workaholic, Hell?

 

Hellion: [flipping the hammock, though Sin, like a cat, lands on her feet without spilling a drop. Freaking ninja.] Thanksgiving is tomorrow. You’ll have time aplenty to fill up on green bean casserole and mashed potatoes.

 

Sin: [bouncing] Mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes. [points to the shirt she’s wearing] I had a t-shirt made to celebrate how much I love mashed potatoes. [a baby pink hoodie with hot pink writing that says: Team Mashed Potatoes]

 

Terri: [exchanging looks with Marnee and Hellion] What happened to Team Edward?

 

Sin: [lifts her hoodie and flashes the shirt beneath] Oh, he’s here, see?

 

Marnee: You know it just wouldn’t be a Thanksgiving if someone wasn’t flashing, would it?

 

Hellion: Indeed not. [clapping to get attention] All right. This is an impromptu “What are we thankful for?” blog, so Marnee why don’t you go….

 

Sin: Why does Marnee always get to go first?

 

Hellion: Because everyone already knows what you’re thankful for.

 

Terri: That Twilight came out three weeks earlier than planned?

 

Marnee: That you got to see the movie about fourteen times since it came out last weekend?

 

Lisa: That she’s going to see it another fourteen times this weekend?

 

Terri, Marnee, Sin, Hellion: [squeeing] LISA! You dropped by!

 

Lisa: You didn’t think I’d let you do Thanksgiving without me, would you? I have a list of what I’m thankful for. And someone better save me some mashed potatoes.

 

Sin: [still bouncing] Mashed potatoes! Mashed potatoes! Mashed potatoes!

 

Hellion: Thank God, you’re back, Lisa. You always do raise the class level of the ship. [ignoring affronted look from Terri; Sin still humming about mashed potatoes] I mean, Marnee does her level best, but one lone pirate to raise the other three? The math odds are just better with you on board. You know how 2 to 3 is better than 1 to 3…

 

Terri: [droll tone] Really, Hellion, is math your forte? Quick, English major, what’s two plus two?

 

Hellion: I don’t….

 

Sin: [snickers] She might as well switch her major to math…I mean, who didn’t know the Kiss Me Kate reference? Oh, yeah, the English major.

 

Marnee: [speaking over] I’m thankful the Captain has a sense of humor…

 

Hellion: [frosty Snape look] Do I? That’s news to me.

 

Terri: [sotto voice] And me.

 

Sin: [snickering with Lisa]

 

Marnee: And isn’t one to hold grudges when we get cheeky….

 

[All other crew members burst out laughing except Hellion, who sniffs and tugs at her jacket sleeves]

 

Hellion: Yes. Let’s all be thankful for my impeccable sense of humor and lack of grudge holding. Enough of this. All right, what are you thankful for, Terri?

 

Marnee: I thought…[sees Hellion’s look and smiles at Terri] Yes, Terri, what are you thankful for?

 

Terri: I’m thankful for oral sex…

 

Hellion: Damn, that was on my list.

 

Sin: And mine.

 

Marnee: And mine.

 

Lisa: Dude, you know it’s on mine.

 

Hellion: Could we try for something a little more Thanksgiving-y?

 

Sin: I bet that was fun to say. How much rum have you had, Hellie? Three, four pints?

 

Terri: You’re not asking the English major to count again, are you?

 

[pandemonium fighting ensues]

 

Lisa: [blowing whistle, getting everyone’s attention, though all look sheepish] Thank you. Geez, the first thing I’m thankful for is that nobody has changed on this ship. You’re still the same fun, rollicking crew as you ever were.

 

Terri: I’m thankful Marnee got her edits done so one of us looks like a working pirate.

 

Marnee: I’m thankful Terri pitched my book…and I’m thankful….

 

Hellion: [interrupting and striding forward to pace in front of them] I’m sorry, between all this banter, I’ve compose a musical parody that expresses everything the RWR is thankful for this year. [passing out music sheets to a flummoxed crew] Okay, from the top, band! One, two,…

 

Lisa: But we haven’t practiced….

 

Sin: Karaoke! I love karaoke! Almost as much as mashed potatoes…

 

Terri: And Edward.

 

Sin: Of course, and Edward…

 

Hellion: Three…to the tune of “12 Days of Christmas”… Today on Turkey Day, I’m most thankful for you see, one completed manuscript for publishers to see…

 

Crew: [joining in dubiously] And today on Turkey day, we’re most thankful for you see, two editors bidding and one completed manuscript for publishers to see.

 

Marnee: This isn’t too bad really…and I am thankful for completing my manuscript. And completing the edits…and my husband is thankful I’m showering again…

 

Crew: And today on Turkey day, we’re most thankful for you see, three contest wins, two editors bidding and one completed manuscript for publishers to see.

 

Sin: Where’s the mashed potatoes? I don’t see them listed on this paper…

 

Crew: And today on Turkey day, we’re most thankful for you see, four agent requests, three contest wins, two editors bidding and one completed manuscript for publishers to see.

 

Terri: [glancing ahead at the list] I think the lack of mashed potatoes is the least of the concerns.

 

Crew: And today on Turkey day, we’re most thankful for you see, FIVE KEGS OF RUM, four agent requests, three contest wins, two editors bidding and one completed manuscript for publishers to see.

 

Lisa: Anyone thought of giving the Captain a vacation in a nice mental facility for Christmas?

 

Marnee: I have

 

Terri: Me, too

 

Sin: It’s in the works.

 

Crew: And today on Turkey day, we’re most thankful for you see, six CPs critiquing, FIVE KEGS OF RUM, four agent requests, three contest wins, two editors bidding and one completed manuscript for publishers to see.

 

Terri: Actually, I’m rather impressed. So far she hasn’t referenced Captain Jack or Pirates of the Caribbean…

 

Lisa: [dismally] Or Ranger. Isn’t anyone thankful for Ranger anymore?

 

Sin: [high fives Lisa] Oh, girlfriend, you know I’m all about Ranger and the mighty batstick.

 

Lisa: [nodding, grinning] Ah, the batstick.

 

Crew: And today on Turkey day, we’re most thankful for you see, eight months till Harry Potter 6… [Marnee, Terri, Lisa, & Sin stutter to halt and shift paperwork, confused]

 

Sin: Where’s seven?

 

Terri: Honestly do I need to keep reminding you who we’re talking about here?

 

Lisa: [shaking head] She really can’t add, can she?

 

Marnee: Not a column.

 

Hellion: [oblivious]… three contest wins, two editors bidding and one completed manuscript for publishers to see.

 

Crew: And today on Turkey day, we’re most thankful for you see, 21 uber-awesome guest authors, eight months till Harry Potter….

 

Lisa: [shaking head] How is she coming up with these numbers? Are they just completely random?

 

Sin: No, we’ve had 21 uber-awesome guests this year. [counting on fingers] Anna Campbell, Dee S. Knight, Leslie Langtry, Pamela Clare (who’s coming back next week by the way), Colleen Gleason, Anna West, Colette Gale, Lacey Alexander, Kimberly Killion, Dana Morton, Toni Blake, Aunt Cindy…

 

Terri: [holding up a gorgeous blue and green covered novel] You mean, Loucinda McGary, author of The Wild Sight, in stores now or available for order at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble?

 

Sin: Yes, Vana, and we’ve also had Megan Kelly and Angie Fox and Teresa Medeiros and Candace Camp and Sabrina Jefferies and Christie Craig and Faye Hughes and Mindy Klasky and Eloisa James. Am I missing anyone?

 

Terri: Wait, where are we now?

 

[Crew turns to Hellion, who’s still singing as if nothing is amiss]

 

Hellion: Today on Turkey day, we’re most thankful for you see, 28 Twilight viewings…

 

Sin: Edward!

 

Crew: 21 uber-awesome guest authors, eight months to Harry Potter….

 

Sin: [bouncing around and between crew members] Edward, Edward, Edward…

 

Terri: [cutting off the song in mid-FIVE KEGS OF RUM] Stop, stop, stop. I think we should go back to the original plan of everyone saying what they’re most thankful for. Show of hands who agree. [four other hands go up, Marnee has up both hands. Everyone looks at her.]

 

Marnee: Oh, right, like we can’t cheat on this ship…

 

Terri: All right, then it’s unanimous. Captain, you go first. What are you most thankful for this Thanksgiving.

 

Hellion: [cat with the canary look] Oral sex.

 

Terri: You forgot, “And that my father doesn’t read my own blog.” We’re moving on before you get all blubbery and emotional. I know it’s in you.

 

Hellion: I’m not done! I’m grateful for my crew, those on and off this ship, and without whose support none of this would be nearly as fun…or meaningful. I’m grateful to my critique partners (thank you, Dee and Sin! You guys completely rock!). I’m grateful for DVDs so I can watch POTC every other day without warping it; and I’m grateful for the roof over my head and the job that pays the bills and…

 

Sin: Hellie, I love you but you’re a blog-hog. You’re being cut off. I’m grateful for Edward. And that Harry Potter got bumped until next July. Even if I have to hear Hellie whine about it every other day at the gym.

 

Lisa: And I’m grateful for Ranger! There, it needed to be said. I can’t believe it was left off. What’s wrong with you people? I take a temporary leave of absence and suddenly Ranger is stricken from the lists….

 

Sin: Ranger, Ranger, Ranger. Oops, I mean, Edward, Edward, Edward…

 

Marnee: Do I get a turn yet? I’m grateful for finishing my edits! Have I mentioned that yet?

 

Terri: Not much, only 14 or 15,000 times…

 

Lisa: Not that we blame you. Where are you in your book, Terri?

 

Terri: Who invited her back, anyway?  [gives Lisa the evil eye]  I doubt I can top Marn for mushy-ness but I’ll try. I’m thankful for my Little Pirate whose put up with a very cranky (read: frustrated) mommy pirate lately. Bless her heart. I’m grateful for my fellow wenches who never fail to make me smile and make me want to be a better (worse?) pirate. For this fantastic online community in which I live these days and all the amazing women, published authors and as-yet-unpubbed alike, who inspire me, motivate me, support me, and listen to me whine incessantly. And for oral sex. NEXT!

 

Hellion: Frustrated? That’s a tame word for under-laid, isn’t it? I mean haven’t we all had to put up with your cranky-a….

 

Terri: I swear, you have sex more than once a year and you act smug about it. You’ve written the book on cranky.

 

Hellion: You’re just jealous I published before you.

 

Terri: I’m fine not having my name associated with Bed Rage: Tales of an Under-Laid Pirate Queen.

 

Hellion: You smell funny.

 

Marnee: What part of next do the two of you not understand? No one cares Hellion got laid this year.

 

Lisa: Can I go next? I have to be somewhere, and if I wait until the Captain and Bo’sun stop bickering, it’ll be next week before I can go. [Marnee waves a hand.] Great. [says in a rush as if anticipating being interrupted yet again] I’m thankful for my life, my friends and family, Chad’s giggle, my job and working with the greatest co-workers I could ever ask for.

 

Marnee: I do love my little pirate’s giggle, too.

 

Sin: Mattycakes giggles. But it’s usually right before he says ‘pull my finger’ so really it’s not quite as charming….

 

 Marnee: [marking on a clipboard] Okay, we’ve covered the Captain, the Bo’sun, Lisa…how about you, Sin? Anything else you’re thankful for this year?

 

Sin: I’m thankful I didn’t have to hide as many bodies this year as I did last year. And my mother thought those anger management lessons she bought me at Christmas didn’t pay off. [scoffs] I’m also grateful Hellion offered me her 160 acres of farmland to hide the body of that strumpet….

 

Hellion: [clearing throat] You’re more than welcome, Sin, why don’t we keep that between us, shall we?

 

Marnee: [makes a checkmark on her list] All right, I think then I can go now, right? Good. I’m thankful I finished my manuscript this year….

 

Terri: [sotto voice] 15,001.

 

Marnee: And for getting my edits completed. I’m thankful for my critique partners and readers who have helped me polish my manuscript—and for doing so on such short notice for agent requests and contests. You guys have been great. The pirates for being so fun and charming as they can only be—and great cheerleaders. For my husband who’s been my best cheerleader and supporter; and my little pirate, who thinks I’m a great mommy when I let him be entertained by the boob tube so I can get my edits done. I owe him another noisy car, I think. I’m also thankful for my family and friends…and well, everyone…here and the Eloisa BB has the best group of comrades the internet could ever dream up. Thanks for being so great!

 

All Together: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. What are you thankful for?

Booty Call Take 2

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008

Di R pointed out she was already a winner of Desperate Duchesses (a la Vauxhall) and gave me an opportunity to draw again. So after I put all the numbers back in and drew–and then cast off the ones who I’d already picked (I mean, how many times can I pick PJ’s & 2nd Chance’s names, honestly!), I finally picked #3, which, drum roll please, was assigned randomly to (wait for it):

JULIE

So Julie, please email me your mailing address so we can get this book out to you! Woot, woot!

I’m Pretty Sure I’m Adopted, And Other Lies I Tell Myself to Make It Through the Holidays

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008

Poor turkey day. It is set aside each year in such high hopes, and yet the expectations surrounding the holiday can’t possibly live up to the hype. A commoner who sweeps ashes from chimneys has a better chance of marrying a prince of a renowned country than we do of having the Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving we all have in our minds.

 

You know the Thanksgiving ideal I’m talking about here. The Dream of the family with one mother, one dad (both still happily married to each other, mind), with the healthy, happy brood of kids gathered around the table a la The Waltons. We might not have much money, but we’re well-fed with Granny’s secret cornbread dressing, and everyone loves each other. No one fights. No one snipes. No one secretly hopes someone’s certain brother-in-law will choke on a yam. It’s the one day a year we have the Perfect Family Meal. The problem with the “Perfect Family Meal” is that nobody has the perfect family. It’s an oxymoron. The Waltons was a tv show and didn’t really exist. (FYI, this just in, Leave It To Beaver, also not based in reality. Just in case you didn’t get the memo.)

 

Personally I blame Norman Rockwell.

 

I know, his pictures are iconic, aren’t they? I love them. Every one of them is a story, harkening back to a time where things were a little simpler, a little sweeter, a little happier. Which unfortunately has never truly existed. I admit I want the Norman Rockwell ideal. Every year I faithfully peruse the holiday magazines and photocopy recipes, fantasize about making homemade rolls so light they float off the plate, and being crowned “Turkey Queen”. I have my little Martha Stewart dream, I admit it freely.

 

But let’s share what really happens on Thanksgiving at my house.

 

I will cook almost everything. My sister is assigned the desserts. I like making the turkey and sides. I won’t make anything new because after almost twenty years of doing most of the cooking at Thanksgiving, I know better. New dishes, no matter how tasty and wonderful, are lost on the plebian tastes of my family.

 

“What is this?”

“It’s cornbread stuffing with cranberries and walnuts.”

“It tastes funny. Where’s the real stuffing? The kind from the box I bought.”

 

I fought it for years, but I’ve given up. It’s not worth it. And if they like it, they won’t tell me. So I can make something “weird” and get complaints; or I can cook the same old thing and get no comments. Guess which route I’ll be taking? I mean, every year I have to listen to three hours worth of my father going off about how many pans it takes to cook everything. I want the complaining kept to a minimum. The day is going to suck enough as it is. Just wait.

 

Okay, once all the stuff is fixed, my sister and her brood come to the farm to eat with us. This is after I’ve gotten about six phone calls that morning. What am I fixing? When will it be done? Is it done yet? Do I have any mushroom soup? Are we watching the football game, John wants to know? And in case, I missed it the other two times: is it done so they can come down already?

 

Okay. So we’re ready—6 hours of prepping just for this moment.

 

They arrive; they eat; they stay exactly forty minutes (this includes taking off coats and eating time, by the way); and then they leave. They leave because my sister has fixed her own turkey and the same number of side dishes for their “real Thanksgiving meal” at home. That’s right. She only eats with us because Dad expects it—and he too wants the Norman Rockwell family dinner.

 

My sister usually raves about one of my dishes before she goes; she is the only person I get compliments from. I hide in my room the rest of the day. I pray the Clueless Wonders will not visit. I usually pray in vain.

 

The Clueless Wonders (John’s middle younger son and his wife) are a married couple, who have unfortunately bred. (Though the child is charming…and far more intelligent than they are.) I call them the Clueless Wonders because calling them the Fucking Idiots is banned from the dining room table for some reason. They married some years ago, after he knocked up the poor girl he was dating. After she was pregnant, it was decided to let them marry. (BTW, like father, like son. Oh, yeah, the CW has no original ideas or thoughts.) She’s about 10 years my junior and she frequently tells me I might make a good mom someday. You know, when I grow up. She does not work; and he is frequently without a job because (and I quote): “My boss doesn’t understand me.”

 

Basically these guys sit in our living room, spouting off, and I marvel at my tax dollars at work for their upkeep.

 

If I’m really lucky, my brother Eldon’s ex-step-daughter (keeping up yet?) will come with her brood (how many kids does she have? Six? Eight?) and visit. Brandy tells colorful stories of our childhood, much like a jock from high school relives his famous days on the field. I marvel at her many piercings and tattoos and run-ins with the law. After about twenty minutes in the brood’s rambunctious company, I usually go check to make sure I took my birth control pill that morning. I mean, I take them as soon as the alarm goes off, like I’m some sort of Pavlov’s dog or something, but you can never be too careful.

 

I look at that picture of Norman Rockwell’s Thanksgiving dinner and laugh. It is not a bit reflective of my family, or any family I know. One of my best friends does the family thing, and even when everyone is seated around the table, no one reminds you of those kids from the Waltons. Not a tattoo or piercing among the Walton crowd. And other friends never have anything as normal as a family dinner. No. They go to the ER…or have a family carted off to jail or a mental ward. You mention the word “Thanksgiving” to them and they visibly wince. “Please, do we have to do the Thanksgiving thing? Can’t we just sit at home and eat a turkey sandwich, please?”

 

And it’s not only artwork: reading about these Walton-like families in novels totally annoys me because I feel it’s such complete fiction. Like a medieval story that has a heroine with a unicorn as a pet or something. These fictional hero/ines are weird…and blessedly unburdened by family members who have been featured on Cops or The Jeff Foxworthy Show. I doubt they truly appreciate how weird and special they really are! They’re the Endangered Species of Family Ideals and don’t even know it.

 

But at the same time, why are those families, that iconic .0005% of the population family dynamic the only one that’s praised, revered, put into fiction and art? What about the families with only one parent, or mixed families? Where are the non-traditional family pictures?

 

I want a Norman Rockwell painting with the pierced Goth teenager and the happily adjusted, gay young professional sitting next to his boyfriend. I want dad and his new young trophy wife smiling proudly in the background; and I want granny, a young 80, dressed in spandex and making goo-goo eyes at her new boyfriend, Ed. I mean, wouldn’t that be slightly more representative? Where’s the alcoholic uncle? There is always one of those at these dinners.

 

I think that’s what I loved most about Eloisa James’ first Duchess book. Here was a heroine who was ashamed of her family, her father specifically. She was a person who would have ducked out of Thanksgiving if it had been an option. And she’s horrible around children. I remember the critics going off about her, since romance novel heroines are supposed to be like Disney heroines, beloved by forest animals and children at all times. But finally I read about a heroine where I was like, “Damn, someone got it right.” Okay, not everyone feels about the same about children as I do (the self-absorbed, ‘bored’ little terrorists), but it was nice to sit around a table of people who were not Norman Rockwell perfect. They were a family of people I could relate and understand.

 

In my own writing, I tend to steer away from family members. Everyone is an orphan or sprung from a cabbage. I don’t know if it’s that I just don’t like family members or I know if I start adding them, they’re going to be so obnoxious that I won’t be able to publish my novel because it will cease being a fictional piece and more autobiographical. (By the way, my faculty and co-workers live for my Thanksgiving stories and think I should publish my family memoirs. They think I’d make a killing.) I do focus more on friendships between my heroine and her girlfriends. My friendships are my family in my real life, much more than my blood family, and I think that’s why they make it into my writing so often. (And they’re certainly not without their drama. They’re just not Clueless Wonders.)

 

So what’s your family like? Norman Rockwell or Ozzie Osborne? What sorts of families do you like to read about in fiction? Do you like writing family life in your novels, or do you write more about the friendships of your heroes/heroines? What are you looking forward most to Thanksgiving?

Winners & Booty!

Monday, November 24th, 2008

The winners of the Desperate Duchesses novels from Eloisa’s blog are:

In no particular order, of course.

Don’t blame me if you didn’t get picked.

Everyone’s a winner, really.

Really.

QUANTUM

RENEELYNNSCOTT

PJ

2ND CHANCE

DI R

Congratulations, you guys. Please email me with your mailing address at mshellion @ gmail.com (minus the spaces) and I’ll pass it onto to Kim to put in the mail for you.

Thanks!

Hellion

Forget the Hype

Monday, November 24th, 2008

Hype.  Buzz.  Anticipation.  Expectation.  All seemingly positive words.  Good words.  Yet dangerous words.  What happens when the hype bites you in the ass?

 

Unless you’re living under a rum bottle, you know the movie Twilight hit theaters this past weekend.  The book upon which the movie is based is immensely successful.  In fact, the four books in the series have sold over 25 million copies.  Not bad for a Mormon mom who says her main characters came to her in a dream.  I need to pay more attention to my dreams.

 

I have not read the books, but I did see the movie on Friday.  I wasn’t overly impressed, but to be fair, I’m not the target demographic for this thing anyway.  My question is, did the hype do more harm than good? 

 

Most of us here long to have our Romance novels on the bookshelves someday.  But getting them on the shelves is only the beginning.  If we don’t get people to actually buy them, that first book will be the last book.  And getting people to buy them involves creating buzz.  Getting our name out there, getting our covers out there, shouting our blurb from the mizzenmast and hitting up every contact we’ve ever made to let us drop anchor at their blogs for a day.

 

But if you go through all the trouble of hyping the binding off your book, you’d better be able to deliver.  You better have a story that meets the high expectations and then if you’re lucky enough to find success, you have to write another story and do it all over again.

 

So today we’re going to talk about expectations.  Do you worry about giving people what they want?  Or are you confident that if someone would just publish your book, you know the readers will love it?  And what book, movie, or television show has let you down lately?  What hype have you bought into and then wanted to demand your money (or time!) back?

Hottie Crew Member of the Week

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008

We have an extra special Hottie we’re bringing on board this week.  In fact, he may be the most popular Hottie anywhere this week of the year.  We had to fight a mean crowd of housewives to get him.  We’ve seen entire pirate crews that weren’t that mean.

 

So here he is…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here’s what he’ll look like come Thursday….

 

 

Now, is that sexy or what?

 

Have you  brought one of these hotties home this weekend?  Are you getting his dressing all ready to go?  Or are you smart enough to leave this one to the professionals (like me)?

The movie is finally here! – A Twilight Inspired Blog. (*No spoilers*)

Friday, November 21st, 2008

Twilight Image

Scene: The back room of Lady Micah’s Treasure Trove. Lisa and Christie appear to be seated at a table staring intently into the middle of a crystal ball while the scent of cheap incense hangs over them like LA smog.

 

Christie: (In a tone of voice that only dogs and small rodents can decipher) “Is that Stephanie Meyer’s face that I see.” (hopping up and down in chair)

 

Lisa: ( fluffing hair from her reflection in the crystal ball) “I think you had too much cheese dip for lunch…(gasps, as she finally focuses on something other than herself) “IT IS Stephanie Meyer!”

 

Stephanie: Hi ladies! I understand you are fans of my work?

 

Christie: (Nodding like a bobbing dog’s head on the dash of a Ford Pinto.)

 

Lisa: “Ms. Meyer what an honor it is to meet you.”

 

Christie: *Still nodding.*

 

Lisa: *Elbows Christie and whispers* “This is your only chance to make an impression on the woman who created Edward…SNAP out of it!”

 

Christie: (with a farm away dreamy look) “Edward…”

 

Stephanie: (Grins) “ So as fan of the Twilight series at what point of the book did you decide between Team Edward or Team Jacob?”

 

Lisa: (grins) “I’m still undecided. Let’s just say I am in awe of both of them, but Edward definitely dazzles me.”

 

Christie: *pointing to the front of her custom made Team Edward hoodie* I needn’t say anything more. Love is forever and deserves sparkling in the sunlight and dazzling on a daily basis.

 

Stephanie’s response… (laughing) I see you’re not a Jacob fan. Not even a little?

 

Christie: *shaking head furiously* Not even a sliver of betrayal from me. Loyal Edward lover to the end.

 

Stephanie: “What did you like best about Twilight?”

 

Lisa: “I’m a sucker for a great romance, and the emotional connection between Bella and Edward was written flawlessly. I couldn‘t lay the book down”

 

Christie: Edward’s emotional struggle is what really drew me into the book. The tie between Bella and Edward hooked me line and sinker. I was swept into a relationship of remembering what it’s like to have that first love and to feel like it’s never going to happen to way I want it to, desperately. And since I wanted that emotion like I wanted my next breath, I didn’t dare put the book down.

 

Stephanie: “What enthralled you about the book that made you want to continue?”

 

Lisa: “The romance, and the absolute devotion Edward gave Bella.”

 

Christie: Absolutely, Lisa. The devotion and level of love and respect between Edward and Bella kept me going. I loved the characters. I loved each moment Edward and Bella were together.  

 

Stephanie:How do you feel about the book becoming a movie and do you think the actors were cast well for the characters?”

 

Lisa: I am totally stoked about the movie, and other than Jacobs really bad wig in the movie I couldn’t saw anything so far disappoints me about the cast. Rob Pattinson as Edward is perfect.

 

Christie: I’m stoked too. Usually I’m not a fan of books being adapted into movies; but once I saw what was being done and how it all was flowing together, I couldn’t be more excited! Kristen Stewart as Bella is perfect. And Rob Pattinson is absolutely perfect as Edward. He’s exactly who I saw in my mind as I was reading before I saw him. Perfect casting choices.

 

Stephanie: What scene from the book do you anticipate in the movie?

 

Lisa: I look forward to the action sequence, at the ballet studio and in the meadow between James and Edward. I hope the angst shines through. I also look forward to Edward and Bella’s first kiss.

 

Christie: Can I say I want to see it all? I’m really looking forward to seeing the first time Bella wakes up in her room and realizes Edward is watching over her. When he saves her in Port Angeles and then he takes her to that restaurant. Their first kiss. To see Edward’s grin when he tells her he’s living dangerously by hanging out with her. The ballet studio where it all ends. I love drama and action and that ending scene is going to kick ass.

 

Stephanie: *her face starts to fade away*  Duty calls, ladies. I’ve got to look my best for the LA premiere of Twilight and the magic doesn’t happen on its own.

 

Lisa and Christie both squeal in delight.

Christie clutches the front of her hoodie and fake swoons.

Lisa rolls her eyes.

Stephanie: Enjoy the movie!

Stephanie fades from view and another very familiar face appears.

“Edward!” Lisa and Christie squeal.

He grins and winks at both Lisa and Christie and dazzles them both. As he starts to fade from view, sunlight sparkles off his skin and they faint with smiles on their faces.

 

Christie- Alright matey’s, I went to the midnight showing of Twilight last night but I’m not going to spoil this for anyone. Feel free to discuss your excitement of seeing this phenomenal book turn movie and what scenes you’re most looking forward to and why. 

 

Lisa: If you’ve declined to read the Twilight saga, was it because it is a YA series? Or because it is considered to be paranormal? And what is your least favorite thing about books to movies?

 

Christie- A big thank you to my guest blogger today (PM Lisa, you’re the bomb babe), she wrote the majority of this up and even though she won’t be available for comments today, I will be.

 

The End of Revisions (AKA Done Part Deus)

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

That squealing sound you hear?  That’s me, done with my revisions.

*pause for the accompanying clapping, whooping, and catcalling*

Thank you everyone.  I couldn’t be happier.  Well, I might have been happier if it turned out to be a little longer.  I’m just shy of 90K, which was my target, but it was a good push.  I’m not very wordy, a source of difficulty for the literarily inclined.

Now, I know I did a list of things I was going to do after I finished my first draft, so, well, I’m going to revisit that theme.

Things I’m going to do now that I’ve finished revisions (until someone tells me some part of it needs adjustment and I scurry back to it with the accompanying feelings of self-doubt and growing hatred towards this stupid MS)  *pause while I catch a breath*

 

1)       Avoid Microsoft Word – That’s right folks.  For the next week at least, perhaps two, and maybe even until the calendars flip to 2009, I would like to avoid Microsoft Word for major things.  Adjusting query letters, fine.  Cutting and pasting at the request of agents/publishers, fine.  But as a whole, I want to spend less time giving myself computer eye strain and more time with my family.  I also figure any plotting/idea making, can be done in my journal wherever I am and requires limited face time with my laptop.

 

2)      Reading – I haven’t read a historical in nearly a year, save for JQ’s two books.  I think now that I’m done with mine (for the most part) I might be able to catch up on those.

 

3)      Querying – yes yes, I’m not planning to go on a writing hiatus.  Query wide, query far.

 

4)      Housework – I have to scrub my carpets.  I’ve been putting it off.

 

5)      Entertaining – I love this time of the year and I love having people at my house.  It’s festive, it’s fun.  I love baking, I love visiting.  I intend to splurge on all of the above.

 

6)      Reintroducing myself to my husband – I’m not certain he recognizes me anymore.  My first indication:  he seemed to be searching my shirt yesterday for a nametag, trying to gage whether I was on the premises legally.  It’s a sad state of affairs.

 

7)      Play with trains/cars/etc – That’s the stuff my kid is digging now.  I live to please him.   He got these new cars for his birthday that you shake and the things go for like 20 feet.  Amazing the things they come up with.  Perhaps we’ll even watch us some Little Einsteins.

 

8.     Seeing Twilight at least once.  (Ok, I’m not as obsessed as our dearest Sin but I do want to see it).

 

9)      Oh, and I have to send my entry into the Golden Heart.

 

So, how about you?  What do you do in your down time?  Any fabulous bake goods you just must share?  Read anything I just have to pick up?  Ever pondered why children’s toys make such god awful annoying music?  Who does the marketing on that crap?