As you’re reading this, I’m probably still sleeping in the crow’s nest about to enjoy another day of rest and relaxation while the sun beats down on me warm and comforting. Nothing like a little Spring time in Phoenix to cheer up this ninja pirate. I’ll be back next week with something boring to put you guys to sleep on hump day; but in the meantime, I’ve lined up one of the best to cover for me today. You all know her as that wonderful erotica writer, Dee S. Knight and her “sister” Anne writes the sweetest contemporary romance in the market today. Give it up for our guest pirate!
***
As writers, we’re totally consumed with words-the style, the quality, the grammatical correctness, the tense, the appropriateness, the number, the… ACK!! Before you know it, you’re curled up in a corner with a glazed look in your eyes, mumbling verses like:
I write them short
I write them long,
But still can’t weave
An author’s song.
My keyboard’s hot
But still no words
That sound much more
Than worthless turds.
Been there, done that. No matter how hard it is to write and re-write, words are our business and their importance can’t be overlooked. Here’s an example of how vital communicating the right word can be.
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party.
The Indian Chief proclaims, “So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first?”
The Lone Ranger responds, “I’d like to speak to my horse.”
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver’s ear. The horse listens, then gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger’s tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he’s impressed. “You have a very fine and loyal horse but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?”
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought forward, and once more he whispers in the horse’s ear. Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief’s surprise, Silver returns with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger’s tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief says, “You are indeed a man of many talents but I still kill you tomorrow. What is your last request?”
The Lone Ranger responds, “I’d like to speak to my horse….alone.” The Chief is curious but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger’s tent.
Once they’re alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says, “Listen very carefully you dumb ass horse. For the last time, BRING POSSEEEE”
Poor Lone. So, how can we tell if we’re communicating the right words? Well, there are a few of ways I use. I won’t kid you, they’re all difficult as heck, but they work most of the time.
- Find overused words like really, that and just and only. I use two ways to do this and both are good.
Use the Search feature. Each time one of those words is found, read the sentence and make sure the word is required for the meaning you’re trying to convey. If not, cut!!
Read your work out loud. Yes, all of your work, even those hotter than blazes sex scenes. If you have to take a flashlight into the closet to be alone, I can’t emphasize enough how helpful this can be, and for more than finding unneeded words.
- Reading aloud helps you notice words repeated in close proximity. *He wore a serious expression. “We’re in serious trouble,” she said. “Yes,” he answered, “I’ve hardly ever been in such a serious position.”* And that’s before they got into bed.
- Unneeded words bog down your writing. Pay particular attention to the ending of sentences and words immediately after verbs. *He shrugged his shoulders before answering.* What else would he shrug? his shoulders is not needed. *”Get out,” she said to her.* If there’re only two people present, leave off to her. *Her heart pounded in her chest.* Well, yeah. *I must get out, she thought to herself.* Yes, if she’s thinking, she’s doing it to herself, no need to say it.
- Turn your work over to someone else to read. The trick here is to find someone you trust. It’s okay if they like you, but it’s not a necessity. J As long as they’ll be honest about what they read and help you make your work as powerful as possible-meaning with the right words used in the right way-you’re okay. The sad truth is, the same way you easily see errors in someone else’s work, your critique partner will see them in yours. Damn it.
- Think about what you want each scene to mean. Does each sentence, each paragraph help you accomplish your goal? I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to cut words I really, really love because they don’t help the scene get where it needs to go. The same goes for scenes within chapters. This is tough to get used to, but if you read your work and you’re going through 2-3 pages of narrative, take a step back and make sure you can’t turn that into dialogue or action. Readers have short attention spans and often don’t appreciate your genius in narrative. What’s a writer to do? Cut!
- And of course (which are unnecessary words, but hey…), make sure the word you’ve used is the word you meant to use. As shown above, there’s a big difference between posse and uh, you know, the other word. But if you need another reminder, here you go.
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1964 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue. He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
“Oh, come on in!” Peggy Sue’s mother said as she welcomed Fred in. “Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?”
“Iced tea, please,” Fred said.
“So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?” Peggy Sue’s mom asked when she brought the drinks.
“Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach…”
“Peggy likes to screw, you know,” Mom confided.
“Really?” Fred raised his eyebrows.
“Oh yes,” she continued. “When she goes out with her friends, that’s all they do!”
“Is that so?” asked Fred, incredulously.
“Yes. As a matter of fact, she’d screw all night if we let her!”
“Well, thanks for the tip!” Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture, wearing a pink sweater set and a pleated skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
“Have fun, kids!” her mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door. “The Twist, Mom!” she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen. “The damn dance is called the Twist!”
Thanks for letting me sub today-I feel so like a Pirate! Also, heaven knows, I don’t have all the secrets about word hunting. Please share your techniques, problems or questions.