by Bo'sun | July 25th, 2009
You know, not just anyone is qualified to fill the rank of Hottie Crew Member on this ship. There are several important qualities a candidate must have if he wants his own hammock on this vessel. Today’s newest recruit embodies those traits every good Hottie Pirate should have.
For one, he must have the look. You know, *that* look that tells you he can either kick your ass or spank your ass and make you like it. That look that can melt a Pirate’s bloomers or strike fear in the man who crosses him the wrong way. This look.
He also needs the body. The kind of body that can inspire us Pirates to create our slammin’, hot as hell, take you against the wall heroes. And the hard abs come in handy when doing body shots. We like to be thorough and make sure we get every drop of liquor out of that six pack. And I’m not talking about cans of beer. A body like this.
Then there’s that added quality that every Pirate Hottie must have – quick thinking. We admit there are times when a quick get-away is necessary and it helps if you can pick up all your clothes and make it out the door without being caught.
Yes, this Hottie definitely has it all. In case I haven’t said it lately, I love my job on this ship.
Not bad Terrio…can we nominate a hottie? I vote for Michael Weston from Burn Notice. He fits all the criteria, plus a way with explosives!
Noted. I’ll put him on the list. He definitely has that *something* that you just can’t define. But that you’d love to put your finger on.
I really find the last picture funny. He needs to find a woman to cheat with who lives on the ground floor of a building. But—he doesn’t do it for me.
Who is he, anyway?
He doesn’t do it for you? Really? Man, you’re a tough one. His name is Til Schweiger and he’s been in lots of movies but in secondary roles. He’s in the new Inglourious Basterds with Brad Pitt.
I love Sundays.
Yeah, especially those with lots of chocolates and sprinkles…