Anyway, yeah, it almost comes down to a negotiation between partners on what defines what. And keeping lines of communication open because things really do change.

When uncertain, talk about it.

And yup, Hel…LKH writes a lot of polyamory situations. With strong males that don’t necessarily compete with each other but work together…to please Anita.

I’m not sure unconditional love is possible. But an awareness of how conditions change is the key.

IMO – feeling lust or physical attraction to a person other than your SO is human nature. Acting on it is when the problems start. Taking care of yourself be it with or without the aid of pornography is not cheating. Again, just my opinion. That’s only a problem if it becomes something uncontrolled or damaging to real life relationships. Lots of gray area there.

I’m sorry, my cat just got a shot of one of those auto air fresheners up his nose. LOL! Where was I?

Oh, for me, being open with each other is the ost important thing. If one does something they know full out the other would feel hurt by, then they shouldn’t do it. Which is why every relationship is unique.

I don’t know how their relationship works though. It’s weird how the relationship works–and yet it doesn’t. And mostly I think it works because Anita is the alpha of all the men in her life. She’s a protector of most, if not all, of them. The guys are very alpha-ish, but not on Anita’s level.

I don’t know if I’d call Phone Sex cheating, but I think I get where Terri was going with it. There is an “emotional cheating” where everything gets confused. And again, I think 2nd points out a key problem: what if you’re fantasizing about someone else during sex, are you cheating on them even if you’re having sex with them?? Flirting can be emotional cheating, but for some of us, flirting is like breathing but the intent and meaning is shallow.

I don’t know. People are complicated. And expecting them to be so pure and devoted seems a lot to ask. Actually it’s not the expecting part that bothers me. We all want that person–but to put such restrictions on a person or indicate if they don’t follow it, our love is conditional–that seems like it would have a negative effect. Anytime you make love conditional, you are bound to get hurt or be disappointed.

Of course, loving unconditionally gets you the reputation for being a doormat.

And the complexity of triangles is a little more intensive than I originally thought.

One thing I found fascinating about their triangle was that both guys were aware, without getting all vocal, that they both ‘knew’ Stephanie in the biblical sense.

And Morelli still sent her to Ranger for security. And Ranger still sent her home when all was safe… What sort of triangle is that? Really, really, really close to a polyamory situation.