by Bo'sun | August 20th, 2009
It is no secret that in the business of romance, sexuality is a very individual thing. What turns me on may make you snooze while what turns you on may make me scared. Sexuality is complicated and always in the eye of the beholder. It’s no wonder people who’ve been married for eons say the sex only gets better. Uh yeah, because after 40 years, he or she better the hell know what the other likes! Even Wikipedia defines human sexuality as “how people experience the erotic and express themselves as sexual beings.” If that doesn’t sum up how case-specific sexuality is, I don’t know what does.
That said, every person is the expert of their own sexuality. The act of sex itself, however, is pretty basic. Even in the world of Romancelandia, it’s become cliché to say, “put tab A into slot B.” There’s nothing new under that sun. We all have the same parts. We all know where to put them. But it is the other things–the words, the movements, even the settings–that flavor sex to a person’s individual tastes.
As I am the expert of my own sexuality, I write what I like. But I might not have such a clear picture of what I like had I not first read what I liked. I can’t tell you how many titles of books I’ve forgotten, how many characters’ names—even authors’ names—but I have never, EVER forgotten those few situations where the writer happened to tap into my own personal brand of oh la la. Those scenes are branded on my brain. Of course, some of my favorite authors aren’t that strong when it comes to the heat, but I’m not talking about character-development here. I’m talking about what turns people on.
As for me, I like to read situations where the characters skate that fine line between traditional and oh my God. Don’t mistake me. I am not one of those people who wears rubber and owns a ball-gag and I’m not too keen on reading about characters who do either. I believe in a couple falling in love and pursuing their happily ever after together. But I also don’t want to read traditional June Cleaver sex. This is my escape, after all. I’ve bought this book and I want the fantasy I paid for. The missionary position is fine as long as there is some sort of umph in the scene. And by umph I could mean something as minor as a salacious little line of dialogue the hero whispers into the heroine’s ear–something that makes me squirm a little, but not feel oogy.
As for the authors whose sexual prose I can get on board with, here’s my list:
Gaelen Foley
Christina Dodd
Lisa Kleypas
Judith Ivory
Elizabeth Hoyt
Now it’s your turn. Tell me what turns you on and which authors help to get you there.
WTF were you thinking sums me up completely.
Just Ouch. Ouch, for crying outloud.
I’m not sure I would have wanted to spend time in the sack with a guy stupid enough to do that to themselves.
Nipple piercings I can kinda live with. Belly button ring, okay…but bling below the belt makes me wonder, “What is so *ugly* about your junk, you thought putting a ring and some diamonds on it would make it more attractive?”
PS, a couple of my old BFs/flings were kinda into piercings and tats and stuff and I never saw/heard legend of one of these (because clearly that would make it around in a circle of acquaintances, ya know). I think it takes a special sorta fellow. Like, special needs.
Hellie says: “What is so *ugly* about your junk, you thought putting a ring and some diamonds on it would make it more attractive?”
LMFAO!!
Like, special needs.
Yeah, like oooo-glie junk.
LMAO!! That is a special need, i guess….
OMG
LMFAO
This whole conversation is just killing me.
And I’m definitely turning down a bedroom romp if the guy has his navel pierced.
Seriously.
He could have the same stud as me.
And there is an equivalent piercing for women. I don’t think I could do it and it’s not the pain tolerance issue. I think it’s a matter of cleanliness.
Not to mention there is a piercing named after me *shudder* That was an accidently find.
He could have the same stud as me.
That’s just nightmare waiting to happen.
“OMG! Where did you get your ring?” he exclaims, flapping his hands. “I got mine at Hot Topic!”
I do not want my men to discuss jewelry with me. No. And I don’t want to discuss football with them. It’s a fair trade.
I think that’s where my squeamish comes from. No way anyone comes at that area of my bod with a needle. *shudders* I like it just fine the way it is. It needs no decorative touches.
One named after you? What’s it called and more importantly, WHERE is this piercing located?
Seriously it’s more like, “This person LIKES pain. I so cannot deliver on that.” *LOL* I mean a little nail scratching is not going to cut it.
I like it just fine the way it is. It needs no decorative touches.
That’s because your junk’s not ugly. Just keep saying that.
If anyone comes with a needle to do that, you better make sure I’m strapped down to the table because your head will be decapitated from your body with one of my donkey kicks if you try, don’t think I won’t.
LMAO A little nail scratching is not going to cut it. LMFAO. Maybe a little hair pulling should be in order as well. With a leather crop whip.
And it’s only a 14 gauge needle. It’s not that bad.
Think about what my actual name is. And it’s located south of the equator.
And if a guy flapped his arms around and told me about his belly button piercing adventures, I’d push him out the nearest window.
Not that I have to worry about that now.
Seriously, that’s why you feel a guy up before you get into the bedroom.
Hellie, you’re killing me. LOL
““This person LIKES pain. I so cannot deliver on that.” *LOL* I mean a little nail scratching is not going to cut it.”
No joke. LMAO!
Terri worries we’re not being chatty enough, then she drops a PRINCE ALBERT into the conversation and leaves. Gah.
She’s probably paralyzed in front of her computer, scrubbing her eyes to see my name all over this convo. LMAO!!
Part of me is surprised to see me in this convo too… LOL!!
Well, if Janga can say “Nipple”, I think you can have your name all over this convo. *LOL* You’re both in the kittens and rainbow territory.
I’m not surprised Marn. I always knew you had it in you. Not the Prince Albert… of course. LOL
You know, I still think Janga wins the scandalous award today for the nipple.
One short drive home and you all take off without me. LMAO!!! My kitten is getting worried. Both of them.
Considering we’ve made an artform of adding glitter to our hoohas, this conversation is especially hysterical.
Marn – I was so sure you were going to say you dated a guy with one of these. I was on the edge of my couch cushion reading that comment.
If nothing else, this stream of comments could get me a date. I should put a link on all my social site pages. LMAO!
And I can’t imagine dating any man who shops at Hot Topic. My little brother shops there. I’d feel like a total cougar.
I dated a man who shopped (shops still, I’m sure) at Hot Topic…and he flaps his arms.
Yes, but you dated him when you were both in your 20s. That’s different. And my other brother, the arm flapper, shops somewhere else. Wherever the guys in Judad Priest used to shop.
Shit. And I have to follow this blog tomorrow? I hate you J.
It wasn’t me. It was your dirty ship-mates!
You started it!
Yeah, I started the running but YOU were the spring board.
Direct 2nd Chance quote (and also the first comment, I might add):
“Common themes? Unusual settings, domination, multiple partners, mild kink…Being swept away by lust, no matter the consequences. Mildless fucking…”
All I said was, “What turns you on?”
That coulda been anything from candlelight dinners to sweet nothings.
Sorry. I’m sitting here laughing my hoo off about you all discussing sweet nothings.
The Pirates are anything but G-rated!!
Well…you asked! You ask a Californian girl what turns her on, she tells you!
Love the discussion about genital piercing…hee, hee. So sorry I missed this… My Blog is going to echo in silence tomorrow after this…
I know I’m totally innocent in all this.
PS, my DH caught a peek at this earlier and was all, “you guys talked about the Prince Albert today?” And then he rolled his eyes and shook his head.
I smiled innocently and sashayed into the other room.
I bet you did, Marn. I bet you did. LOL
LMAO!
Well, we’ve got to be notorious, or what would be the point?
This conversation was almost as good as the one I had with my student worker who said, “I live near a strip club and some porn shops.”
“Yeah, I said, the strip clubs can be a bit much, but the porn places aren’t. Get drunk and go with friends.”
“I hear that a lot.”
“Yes, don’t go alone–though I did go alone once, but it was strictly emergency.”
And like ten minutes later my boss comes in and asks what we’re laughing about–and I said, “Well we were just working on our dance routines.” Which in innocence I showed her how to do a U-step for step class (because I finally learned it and was proud) and she showed me the OU fight song dance. He asked where the stripper pole was–and actually reference Miley Cyrus. (And if you met the guy you never would have thought he’d *HEARD* of Miley Cyrus.) I mean, this has been an odd day for conversation all around: my boss talking about stripper poles; Janga talking about nipples; Marn talking about piercings…
Where’s the kittens? Where’s the rainbows?
I must say J that I totally agree with what you wrote on ” What Turns You On” When you read a romance novel it’s not just about the sex! It’s about the story and the emotion that leads you to the sex! You summed it up when you said that sex is pretty strait forward it is! But when you read about it you want to be able to feel what both the heroin and the hero are feeling you want to be able to put yourself in the story!
I love to read the old period romance better than the modern one for the sheer fact that there is more suspense that leads you into it! The more modern writers tend to give you more of a “wham bam thank you mam” approach which I hate because there is no romance just Sex for that you could just turn the t.v. to any prime time show see people have at it! But thats not the point you read a good romance to get lost in the story so that you can leave the every day crap behind, even if it’s just for a little while.
For myself, I want to be able to relax and enjoy the time spent in the character’s world and the sex has to be believable and the more romantic the better!
Some of my favorite writers include:
Johanna Linsey
Lisa Kleypas
Stephanie Laurens
Stephenie Meyer
Nora Roberts( some of her writing)
Jude Deveraux
Candace Camp
Amanda Quick
Robin Dehart
Norah Hess
Paulylbl,
Very well said. The escape, for me as well, HAS to about the romance first.