by Bo'sun | September 21st, 2009
As I’ve mentioned, kiddo and I live near the beach, and rarely actually go to the beach. The harassment I’ve received about this has guilted me into taking advantage of my location. That meant spending the afternoon walking the boardwalk, which led to the title of this blog.
So, we’re walking, and to our right, bicycles and multi-person bike carts are passing. This is when kiddo says, “Why don’t we rent one of those?” My first reaction was, “Don’t be silly.”
But, it did look kind of fun. Like real family bonding kind of fun. And as you can guess, I caved.
Within minutes, we both declared, “THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER!” My legs are still on fire, my knees have officially gone on strike, and my back has headed south for the winter. I’m not sure exactly what that means, it’s just what the goodbye note said.
We spent an HOUR pedaling a 200lb cart. (And yes, that is the four person version in the picture above.) That’s how much it weighed before we added our combined *cough* pounds to the equation. And just as we were getting to the finish line, the large blue umbrella of the rental stand in sight, the thing chokes up and refuses to go further. The happy family behind us was nice enough to point out that my jacket was caught in the chain, which explained why my pedals would no longer turn.
Fortunately, a cart repair dude (his official title, I’m pretty sure) showed up, took the chain apart, and removed the jacket. The jacket hit the garbage can, the cart went back where it came from, and it became official, this was the WORST IDEA EVER!
Kiddo will never live this down.
Now, I have had many bad ideas in my life. It would be hard to narrow it down to just one, or even a top ten. But this week, I added another to my list. I decided to read BET ME by Jenny Crusie.
First off, if you haven’t read this book, you must. (Though I’m pretty sure I’m the only slacker who waited this long to get to it.) The book is amazing. Abso-friggin-lutely amazing. Dialogue to die for, deep POV without losing the comedy, and characters so life-like, you expect to look over and see them sitting next to you on the couch.
So why was reading this book a bad idea? I could NEVER accomplish this. I will never be this witty, this smart, this spot on. It is official, I want to be Jenny Crusie when I grow up.
Hellie can attest to the mini anxiety attack brought on by the inner critic cocktail of the awesomeness of Crusie and my abundantly obvious limitations. But it was mini. For once, I dove back into revising, told myself to do my best, and kept going.
This isn’t to say I won’t have many more of these inferiority attacks, but I’m happy to say, I recovered from this one much quicker than I’ll recover from that damn cart. (There are now Icy Hot sleeves on BOTH knees, and they are NOT working.)
I know we talk about inner critics and intimidation and doubts around here all the time. But today, we’re talking recovery. Most everyone here has finished something, be it fanfic, a short story, a text book, or a full length novel. That means we’ve all triumphed over the doubts.
What have you accomplished that you never thought you would? Did you finish college? Did you buy that house, crochet that blanket, or bake the best cookies ever? Today is a day to brag, talk yourself up, and pat yourself on the back. And if you want to make me feel better by telling me some of your really bad ideas, feel free.
At this point, my knees almost require I stay on the bottom.
Kelly/Irish – The Crusie/SEP combo would be amazing. That’s my new goal, to get a book pubbed and have that blurb on the cover. “This author is clearly the love child of Jenny Crusie and Susan Elizabeth Phillips!”
LOL Chance, I can see the book too and would love to see the movie. It would be hilarious, resulting in the loner either trying to take the lead or maybe many uncomfortable moments of getting in each other’s personal space. Once, I joined a dating service where we had all those required group activities. It was not entirely the “worst idea ever” but not exactly fun either! lol I need to write some kind of dating horror book. Sigh.
Terri, yeah, you are right that having a drink is not a life commitment. That is probably a rule in the “dating handbook” or something. LOL However, I do go there and think about how I’ll get myself out of this if I don’t want to continue. Not a conceited thing, but maybe a small town thing where one date is seeing someone! LOL And yes, I think he must be about 60, if I think about it. Yeah, I’m like you. Too much. I am flattered, it’s not an “oh, ick” thing, if you know what I mean. I think I’m intimidated. Actually, my sister, who is only 43, a year older than me, recently remarried and her husband is 60. He doesn’t seem like it, and it works for her. I don’t see it for me though.
Yep, that would cross my threshold, I think. And I get the small town, why start something you might have trouble finishing thing. Too bad there aren’t more men around 40 who are VERY well off and interested in women our age instead of the under 30 type.
Though that cougar goal has merit.
Had to do the school thing for a while. I’m trying to skim and will probably miss a few things.
Janga, add to your list the Song of Solomon, very romantic, indeed. And don’t even get me started on Abraham and what he asked Sarah to do for him although it wasn’t romantic, it’s not hero quality, he had a lot of growing to do.
Hal and Melissa, trust me when I say my kids are very socialized. So much so that my 13 year old had to write up a police report last week because one of his friends, which was a girl, double fist punched another one of his friends and then told her mom that she was the wounded party. My kids are so socialized that the city police department called me to pick up my girl who was parked with a boy after curfew, supposedly they were eating food. And the baby, well let’s just say she’s an Omarosa in the making. I know it’s not nice, but I was praying she’d become nice once puberty hit. I’m not holding my breath.
Okay, back to school for me.
Strictly speaking, being on bottom has all sorts of perks. Well, I enjoy it at any rate.
Knew it. Knew ya’d go there!
I could say I planned it…but I didn’t. Be in the lead? Be more popular? Not the total outcast on the block?
Though I enjoy being a bit of the outcast. I’d rather lead a group of geeks than be the wanna-cheerleader/popular girl.
I swear, it’s like a slapfest. A little boy dressed as a spaceman having it out wit’ a little girl in a princess costume!
He started it!
No, I didn’t! She started it!
I don’t care who started it, don’t make me stop this car!
Renee, I did have to look up Omarosa, found stuff on villainous ways, and I think I get it. Oh boy, the teenage years. Good luck to you.
I’m not looking forward to it. My little guy is such a people pleaser so I will have a lot of worries with peer pressure!
Melissa, that is the problem with my boy. I had hoped he’d be a leader. He is just so very strong willed, but it turns out he’s a people pleaser and has fallen into some of that peer pressure.
Renee – Sounds like you could do with a little less socialization. LOL! Your baby sounds like my older sister. I’ve been waiting my whole life for her to get nice, it’s never happened. Don’t think it ever will.
It doesn’t help that she’s very proud of her bitch status. And she wonders why she’s a spinster. *rolls eyes*
Melissa – I worried about my daughter because she’s very empathetic and doesn’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings. So far we’ve done pretty well. She’s only 10, but I expected some ugly encounters before now.
She decided last week she wanted to run for student body president in a school where she’s only attended for one full year. My first reaction was to talk her out of it so she wouldn’t be hurt if she lost. But then I realized I had to support her, no matter what.
She didn’t make it, but instead of being hurt (which I know she was a little) she was more mad because the kid that beat her is immature and doesn’t deserve the post in her opinion. That was not the approach I expected her to take.
Three cheers for Isabelle! Mad is so much better than sad. And mad for a good reason!
LOL! And she rarely gets mad at anyone but me. She reminds me of Jane in P&P. She can make an excuse for anyone and always gives the benefit of the doubt. But she does have her moments.
Yes, trying to protect our kids is tough. Even when they are little kids can be so mean and it seems like their loyalties are all over the place. My son can play in my backyard all day with a neighbor boy his age and it seems like they are the best of friends. I start to get all complacent and think, this is great, it’s like my son has a brother that I didn’t have to provide! lol But then, add another kid or two from the block and suddenly my son’s best buddy is throwing crab apples at him with the other boys. And my son is coming in crying. He’s not hurt from the crab apples, although they hurt too, but because his friend ganged up on him. And I am LIVID. I yell at the kids to get their butts home. I tell Michael’s buddy that he needs to think about what being a good friend is all about. (Is that allowed to tell a seven-year-old who is not your kid that?) So the rest of the day, me and my son play Monopoly, which he always beats me at, fair and square. But in hindsight, I worry I make things worse by being overprotective. I’m sure there’s a better way to handle these things.
Wow, Melissa, you sure your son isn’t me, cloned? Geez, I can’t say how many times that happened ta me growin’ up. I never did figure out why…
Like we was good ’nuff ta play wit’ when no one was lookin’…
Flashback. Wow. Jus’ keep tellin’ ‘im they don’t know what they are missin’ and what a real friend is. Better ya stand up fer ‘im then let him be pelted with apples!
Children are barbarians!
I can’t believe I have over 100 comments. That never happens. LOL!
I think you can tell a 7 year old that. *shrugs* I’ve been known to go out into the neighborhood or whatever in pursuit of some kids who have done something to my kiddo. I’m never exactly sure what I’m going to do when I find them. LOL! But it has to be something worth going after. At times, you just have to explained that kids are mean and jealous and that’s life.
I love that your 7 yr old beats you at Monopoly. We were just discussing over the weekend how my kiddo has never played the game. We need to work on that.
Chance – I was the youngest in a neighborhood full of kids, and this was back when we stayed OUTDOORS from sun up to sun down. I was taunted and run from and excluded. Spent a couple of years just hiding inside. That’s leaves scars, ya know?
I’ll second the kids are barbarians.
Honestly, I think they all be brain damaged and possessed by demons periodically. Save fer me. I were perfect.
Ask me sis. She taunted me wit’ it often enough!
Ya needs ta break out some game Isabelle might enjoy and play. Yatzee? Clue? (Professor Plum in the conservatory with a candlestick!)
Yes, children are barbarians. I don’t want any more. LOL
He’s been beating me at Monopoly since he was four.
You can take either of our level of intelligence either way. LOL
I wasn’t perfect, but I don’t remember ever being the taunter, always the tauntee.
We don’t have any board games. And I loved them growing up, so I’m not sure how that happened.
I don’t want anymore but only because I’ve done the math and look forward to be footloose and fancy free at age 45. No way would I start over now and still have a teenager in my 50s. My parents did that, not for me.
Melissa – You might want to tell people you let him win now and then. LOL!
My last sentence didn’t make much sense I don’t think. lol Yes, board games kind of lose out to the electronics, but somehow, even if it’s hard to play some with just two, it’s great alone time.
Trust me, Kiddo and I have LOTS of alone time. When she was at her dad’s for the summer, she called me upset one day because her cousin got a mommy day. She asked if when she came back we could have a mommy daughter day. I had to remind her everyday is mommy daughter day at our house. LOL!
I don’t know, a special girl’s bonding day… I know, she’s only ten…but you two could paint each other’s toe nails or something like that…
BTW, didn’t Q’s story sound a little fishy? What fifteen year old would take the handlebars when he could sit behind and ogle the girl’s butt the whole way?
Girl bonding happens all the time. Like yesterday on the darn double bike thing. Or everytime we got to the mall or the store or move stuff around or just laugh.
The other night when it was time to tuck her in, I pulled up the bottom of my shirt and carried the cat with me like he was in a sling. He was totally comfortable. But it must have looked funny because kiddo turned around and burst out laughing.
The cat looked up at me like “What is wrong with this child?” I had to explain she’s just silly sometimes. (Yes, I talk to my cat.)
This be the cat who pushed the hamster cage off the table? Trusted against yer belly?
Brave lass!
Yep, one in the same. And the hamster cage now has a shoe string tied across the front so as not to have a repeat of the 1am hamster rescue. And to make sure the hamster doesn’t mysteriously disappear while I’m at work!
I’m sure he’d leave something. Little feet, a whisker or two. Does your hamster have a ball? Oh, how much exercise the kitty would get!
No, she does not have balls. LOL!
I don’t think he really wants to hurt her. He just wants to play with her. And I think part of it is her own fault. I’m convinced she has recruited him to help her escape.
Teri, talking to your cat isn’t odd at all.
Cats are very interesting animals to have around. When I had an antiques/gift shop (now out of business almost EXACTLY a year ago) my cat was the shop cat. Even customers who felt the need to say they hated cats seemed to be fascinated with her mannerisms. A small runt with perfect, symmmetrical markings, I think she thought she was royalty and took admiration as her due. 
She’d greet the customers then she’d disappear and do her thing, which was likely to go hunting and bring back a gift of a dead bird as big as she was. That part wasn’t so great, but did make for conversation! lol
What’s odd is that darn, scrappy thing got hit by a car the very last day my shop was open for business. No more shop, no more shop cat. It was a very tramatic day, but now can think about it as a strange coincidence.
Ah, that is sad! The cat was suicidal about yer closin’ the shop… I owned a shop cat for several years. Was the mascot a’ the metaphysical bookshop I worked at. Used ta sit on the counter, next ta where I’d stand and just watch people. Didn’t like ta be touched, but did like bein’ admired.
Ended up comin’ home wit’ me after actin’ stud ta the owner’s other Persians… He was ready ta retire, and she knew I adored ‘im. He were a great house cat!
Terrio – Get yer hamster a ball!
Chance, it does seem like some businesses aren’t complete without a cat.
Shops I mean, but hey, some big businesses would be a bit more interesting too with a cat hanging out. lol
Grace has a ball, and Bumblebee jumps over her like he’s pouncing and she ignores him. LOL! Seriously, nothing scares this hamster. I forgot to block the hall once and she went rolling down the stairs. I felt terrible, but she landed at the bottom and looked at me like “Can we do that again?!”
A few months before I left Nashville, a stray showed up. I named him Baby because he loved to be held like one. I didn’t know what to do because I knew I could take him to my new apartment in AR. Then the morning the moving truck pulled in the drive, he walked down the drive and moved onto the next unsuspecting owner. It was like he was sent to keep me company, then let me go.
Whoohoo for Grace! After watching “Bolt” and seeing how fab-o Rhino was with his… Almost makes one think of getting a hamster!