by Sin | April 28th, 2010
A rant of sorts.
Bittersweet Causality (song)- Cold Driven (band)- Set in Stone (album) — My new Kiki and Dex theme song.
“We made a killer out of you and a hostage out of me. I’m just a bittersweet causality. We brought the devil out of you and the sinner out of me. It’s not fair; but love is war. I can’t live this way. I’m living like a hostage. Don’t leave me. I’m too scared to say anything. But I can’t live this way.”
I read a lot of books where characters don’t actually work. You know, that thing that me and you do on a regular basis. Usually these characters are already wealthy from some endeavor before you’ve even cracked open the brand new spine of the first book. It’s usually a man- who owns half the town. Has more frienemies than actual family or friends. A new age tycoon of sorts. He’s gorgeous (of course) with a killer body, an ability to handle himself in a fight and has mass respect on the street. I don’t find anything wrong with this. In fact, if this man was real (ie: If Ranger (Evanovich- Plum series) was real and not a fictional character I’d like to tie to the bed and have my wicked way with) I would hunt him down and have to meet this real life stereotypical fictional hero. He finds heroine interesting because she’s a bumbling fumbling incompetent woman, or because she’s so sarcastic and cynical he finds it a challenge to be in her presence, and therefore decides he must have her.
I find it’s not often you run across a heroine in a novel who can handle herself and has money to run her life the way she wants to run it without man regularly around. The heroine who only invites a man into her life because she finds his friendship to be advantageous when she’s in the need of it. The heroine who devotes her life to being single and living a life outside of the box. Heroes have this life in almost every book I pick up. It’s always the hero who is closed off, who is unable to take the risk and have a relationship other than friends with benefits (FWB). And the heroine is always unwilling to take that step because they are dreaming about the life they want to have in the future and not living for the moment where they could have what they want.
Time for heroines to have the same advantages, if you ask me, we’re more equipped to deal with it. We’ve just been hardwired wrong from the beginning. We’re brainwashed by this stereotype. Women are way too detailed oriented for this to be going on. We’re organized. We’re cut throat and we’re straight to the point. I refuse to read another book about a weak heroine who needs a man to take care of her or the woman is constantly thinking about her chances of getting married with a white picket fence in her future.
No offense mama, but if you were tut-tuting me like Stephanie Plum’s mother does about her getting married and having babies, I’d blow you up in the next vehicle that came my way. Or the way Rachel (Harrison’s Hollows series) reminds herself that she’d like to settle down with a nice witch and have a famil y someday. It’s a nice dream, sure, but I don’t need reminders in novels. You don’t have to have that to have a full and rich life. It’s about the people your characters surround themselves with and who you surround yourself with in your life. That’s the richest part of the story. Life and all the great things that happen along the way. You have to take the heartache with the happiness. Growth is the essential element in all life, fictional and real.
Live for the moment and not for what will happen in the future. Here is where my “happy for now” (HFN) comes into play. I’m not a fan of the “happily ever after” (HEA) shit. I’m tired of reading it. Nothing rarely works out for the happily ever after. Marriage is work. Life is work. And it’s hard. It’s not one of those things where you slip a glass slipper on some bitches foot at the end and it all works out like magic. I’m pretty sure if Prince Charming knew Ms. Sleeping Beauty had a sleeping pill addiction and hid her pills under her feather mattress, not all would be happy in the “Charming” household. Or Snow White and her seven dwarves. I highly doubt any testosterone charged man would really just forget his wife spent time with seven dwarves. Sounds like he might find a nice little “surprise” on some pay by the second website featuring his wife as the star.
Fiction is fiction and enjoy it for what it is- yeah sure. I like fiction with challenge of life. If your character does something to disrupt the Karma flow, well I want to see the cause and effect. Kiki steals shit. Kiki gets caught, her ass kicked, blackmailed and ditched. If you keep doing the dance with Karma, I totally expect the next effect of Karma to be showing you exactly what happens when you disrespect the cosmic flow of life. And Kiki gets hers. Just like any other character in a fictional novel.
For once I want to see a strong heroine kick some ass on her own. I’m not even managing it in my own series. Dex is just getting in the way. Just like any other asshole male on the face of the planet. He’s not capable to realizing she can handle this on her own. If I didn’t have designs for him in future novels, I’d take his ass out via acid pit, or exploding vehicle, sniper fire, flame thrower, fitted for concrete shoes and pitched into the Missouri River. I mean, I can come up with all sorts of ways I’d enjoy getting rid of him *clearing throat* I mean, all the ways Kiki would enjoy getting rid of Dex. But I can’t. I’m caught in my own web of stereotypical writing behavior.
So I want to hear what you think is stereotypical behavior in heroines and heroes. What do you read about most often and what just really irks you about the novels you read? And what stereotypical behaviors do you enjoy in novels but never see?
Well, cheese on a cracker… I do not have time to read 98 comments, darn it! After my Lori Perkins pitch, in 30 minutes…
Got a request from Heather at Tor for The Kraken’s Mirror!
Wait?… What did Terrio say? Irish Gangbang? Are they like rum runners? Oh, no Baileys…well, I’m always up for Baileys!
I promise, will catch up later!
OH! Christie Craig says hi to the pirates!
LMAO on the LOTR review! The first thing I asked DH when he wanted to take me to the movie was “is there a romance in it”. He gives me that look he always gives when he’s trying to get me to do something he knows I won’t like (happens a lot!) and says “sure there is!”
Well, you guys made my day cause I’ve been having a hard time with the day job lately (mommy blues). So seeing that ya think I’ve got some insight into something is promising!
I’ll think on the blog/review thingy. Could be fun!
*whispers to the crew* If Irish asks if the position pays, say, “Sure it does!”
Chance – Pitch your little heart out, woman! Huzzah for the request and here’s to many more.
Chance, yay on the request.
And Irish — yeah, that’s why you don’t want to step away for even a minute. Sh*t happens.
*tiptoes backwards until no one notices I’ve disappeared*
I feel like I did when I missed a parent meeting when my daughter was in kindergarten and got nominated for Halloween Party Mom!
Is she comparing us to a bunch of five year olds?
*pauses*
Okay, that might not be far off.
Is she comparing us to a bunch of five year olds?
If she is, I definitely feel like I’ve progressed! LOL
And Chance, my keyboard keeps sticking, so it didn’t include my exclamation mark! So I’ll do this again: YAY on the request!!!!! There, that oughta do it.
After reading the reviews for Nora’s Savor the Moment over at Amazon.com I’m thinking maybe some clear heads are needed somewhere on the net!
Did you see what is happening? I was just browsing some of the books that came out yesterday to check up on the reviews and saw her book had only 3 stars. I go to investigate why the low marks and find comment after comment … All the Kindle users are giving her book 1 star because it is not available for their Kindle.
Forgot to say YAY! to Chance on the request. That’s awesome. Congrats.
Wahoo on the request! Told you she would be interested in Kraken’s Mirror – did you meet up and do the drink buying thing?
Ok – I don’t expect them now, but I want full details after RT!
Irish — I had read recently about the K*ndle folks doing that, and I’m not sure why they feel that will accomplish what they want. Why hurt the author for something they don’t have control over?
Hey, did you see this?
http://www.avonromance.com/2010/04/avon-invites-you-to-be-the-writer/
The prompt is about a washed up baseball player and a former nerd who is now the principal — sounds like a good story, doesn’t it?
Must you torture me???? I saw that this morning and wanted to shoot someone. Preferably, whoever picked that damn prompt.
It’s not meant to be torture! It’s an opportunity! Go put a comment in there — then they’ll read it and say, “Hmmm, she’s got an awesome take on this story. We need to see the rest!”
Seriously.
That’s right, Donna, stir up the Bo’sun. *LOL*
I don’t know why readers don’t understand lowballing authors because it’s not produced in the format they want is not a good idea. But then again, so few readers understand the business of publishing. (Hell, so few authors understand the business of publishing…)
I don’t MEAN to be a stirrer. Mmmm. Guess it’s another sign I should be working on my WIP.
Don’t get yer panties in a bunch, I’m fine. It’s just that now all those writers are going to think, “That must be what they want so I’ll write it!” And then mine will be one of a thousand that are all the same.
And yes, I realize thinking my story is totally unique is extremely dillusional. LOL! But I liked my blissful ignorance!
Come now, Donna, that’s why we picked you for the ship. You’re a stirrer!
Dang, Hellie — I thought I was a shaker, not a stirrer! LOL
And Bo’sun — personally I think this is a blessing. If I were in your boots right now, I’d go over there and post the bit you posted here the other day. It’s already written, it’s absolutely delightful, AND it gives you a chance to shine with something YOU already came up with first.
Didn’t I read a blog post yesterday about someone’s debut, an author who started out writing snippets on another blog. . .
*sets up plank to walk on before anyone else does*
That was short flash fiction on a bulletin board for fun. LOL! Nope, keeping my stuff to myself. But I’ve read the entries so far and I’m not impressed.
*crosses arms and pouts*
Besides, the winner only gets a book or something. This isn’t how Avon is seeking out new talent. LOL!
Chance – congrats on the request!!!! Good luck with your second pitch – I’m sure you did awesome
CONGRATS on the request Chanceroo!! So exciting.
Ter, go over there and show them what it’s all about. Dude, you could own.
Forgot to mention, Chance sent me a text that she got a request from Samhain for the Kraken story. Whoot! Two down so far. Not sure how her other appointment went yet.
Yay!!
I’m not your run of the mill, street-walking writer giving this stuff away for free. All I need is someone to read my comment and go, “That’s pretty good. I think I’ll write that.”
LOL!
That is awesome! Go Chance Go!
Release the Kraken!!!
Sorry. I’ve really been wanting to say that.
LOL, I can agree with that Ter. All we have to do is think of the opposite way to write it so someone can go in the opposite direction of you. Can’t be that hard. I mean, how many writers are here right now. We’ve got to have SOME idea. I mean, Hells and I are going to write a Stepford Husbands guide. We’ve got ideas.
Isn’t that on a Clash of the Titans commercial? LOL Donna’s got her whip out cracking it for the Kraken.
Bo’sun, I totally understand what you’re saying — I feel the same way about having my writing out there. So I apologize if it sounded like I wasn’t aware of that aspect. Because I am, and I’m probably more paranoid than most.
You can shake whatever you want, Donna, but I liked you because you were a Ship Stirrer (oh, I’m so punny, I crack myself up!)
Bo’sun? You’re not giving it away for free? That’s not what it says about you in the bar in Norfolk! (I probably shouldn’t have written that when I was there…)
The Stepford Husbands Guide to a Happy Marriage…Gosh, I can see that in print now, can’t you?
It’s funny, Donna, I’m not usually paranoid. I think Hellie is rubbing off on me.
But my stomach dropped when I saw that this morning. Hellie and I are waiting to see if the next one is “Adam & Eve are in marriage counciling…go!” We’ll know they have hacked into our email then. Or at least follow this blog. LOL!
That Clash of the Titans commercial kills me. Just because Liam is so over the top when he yells that line.
A Ship Stirrer. Ha! I just got that. LOL!
That bar is now CLOSED. So har de har har…
Do what feels right, Ter.
I’ve come across scenes that I’ve written (not word for word but the idea was the same) in a few books I’ve read over the past couple of years and you want to scream “hey, that’s my idea!” One was from a Lisa Kleypas book but I’m gonna be gracious and bow out of that fight!! LOL
Every time I complain about it the DH just looks at me shaking his head and says “You snooze you lose, baby!” Absolutely no sympathy from him.
So get it written and out there before the rest!
Bo’sun? You’re not giving it away for free? That’s not what it says about you in the bar in Norfolk! (I probably shouldn’t have written that when I was there…)
ROTFLMAO!!!
Bo’sun? You’re not giving it away for free? That’s not what it says about you in the bar in Norfolk! (I probably shouldn’t have written that when I was there…)
Uh oh. You guys are writing fanfac in bars? Oh boy.
Bo’sun? You’re not giving it away for free? That’s not what it says about you in the bar in Norfolk! (I probably shouldn’t have written that when I was there…)
Uh oh. You guys are writing fanfic in bars? Oh boy.
Oops — a typo AND a double post! Sorry!
Sorry guys — don’t know what happened there!
A ship stirrer and a double clicker. You’re a wiley one, Donna.
Irish – Don’t encourage her. Please.