by Sin | June 2nd, 2010
Just a little hate mail between my two main characters. They have a little pent up frustration between them.
~*~
To: hero @ W S S LLC. com
From: heroine @ M C S LLC. com
Subject: Being a hero doesn’t suit you.
Dear Hero,
Your pathetic excuse of a spy doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. A tip from one boss to another, employ people who have their tongues cut out, lips sewn shut, loyal to a fault or- this might be the best advice of all- do your own dirty work.
Just a suggestion, dear.
It is high time I set you straight. I’ve spent the past five years pretending you (and what you’ve done) don’t exist. I now realize I can keep on denying your existence in the world (trust me, I’m tempted) or we can just talk like civilized people and find a reasonable solution to this little problem. Though, I’ve been advised that a reasonable solution is not blowing out the tires on your Mustang at 100 mph and watch you careen over the edge of a bluff.
Pity.
The world is a two way street of good and evil, Hero. I am a thief. I steal because I want to, because I’m good at it. Just like you kill people to keep others safe from harm, to keep the balance of power between you and the bad guys. I know what you’re doing. Your attempts at blackmailing me into getting what you want aren’t lost on me. And in my grayscale world, there is no room for you constantly watching and waiting in the wings for me to screw up. It’s not in my nature to screw up and I can’t afford it in my line of work. And frankly, the thought of it pisses me off.
I know you’ve kept tabs on me for the past five years. On my business and the people I associate with. I can’t begin to understand why you do this. As far as I know, what I do in my own life is none of your concern. So maybe you could remember that the next time you send two inconspicuous giants to tail me in an expensive black SUV with heavily tinted windows. I’m not sorry about that. You can forward me the medical bills and I’ll have my accountant take care of them. But next time, I can’t be held accountable for what happens. They are big boys. They can take care of themselves, I’m sure.
What I’m trying to say, Hero, is five years may not be eternity in the grand scheme of things; I’m a different person now. These eyes have seen the world, memorized every little detail and burned it into my memory. You changed me in ways I can’t comprehend, can’t control, and can’t fathom. And I have no desire to more thought into it. As for your favor, your asking price is too high and I can’t go back and be who you want me to be. There is too much history between us to forgive and forget. So give me what I want and do what you’re good at, Hero.
Walk away before this gets ugly.
Your Heroine
My heroine and “hero” are at odds in my RS. (Light on the R- unless you count love affairs of guns, mayhem and violence, then it’s definitely filled with R.) What is your favorite way to get the “hero” and “heroine” at odds with each other? Anyone want to write a passive aggressive note to one of your characters from another?
I had a good time writing mine.
Obviously.
*salutes Hellie with a trembling hand*
Aye, aye, Captain!
*wraps 14 chains around my waist to keep my pants on*
Shh, Bobblehead — if I repeat that, I’m going to get in even MORE trouble!
Why am *I* always the one who gets an example made of? I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even nibble on our guests. *looks around*
Oh. Well. I guess I did and forgot.
*doing the potty dance in the corner, sans pants.*
Dear Donna,
You might consider using something other than chains to keep the pants up. For one thing, they weigh a lot and should you *accidentally* trip and fall overboard, those chains will sink you faster than Bobble-headed Jack.
You can pay me later for getting the Kraken to retrieve him.
Sorry about the slime.
Love and kisses, Chance.
Dear Bo’sun,
I use my own recycled paper.
BTW, sent off signed contract today. Am I officially agented now? Or when she gets it?
Chance
OMG!! NOW!!
Whoohooo!!
*doing contract dance sans pants*
MM!! Holy crapazilla!
Specifically, an e-agent. Something new on the horizon but I’m pretty excited, too! She’s with the Lori Perkins Literary Agency…one of my magical shoe pitches at RT…
Bar is open, pants or not!
I did manage to retrieve the stash Donna tried to squirrel away…so we be fully stocked and ready to rock and roll!
Yay! I’m so excited for you Chanceroo! It’s been a long time coming!
Drinks all around. A toast to Chance and her magically lucky shoes!!!
Here’s to the coolest hippy-chick and her romantic adventures! Let the games begin!!!!
Julie – I may steal that motto. Writer of a Thousand and One … Voyages… Since I tend toward more sailing than flying…
Oooh I’m so Very Excited for you too Chanceroo! Congratulations!
Hey Chance, I said ‘flights” cuz I was doing a take on Zepplins and the book A Thousand and One Nights.
Writer of a Thousand and One … Voyages sounds like you, Chance. Take it fit pleases you. Think of it as my Bon Voyage present to you as you set of on your voyage to getting published.
Make that
Take it if it pleases you.
Well, it fits, too!
Anyone else write a character letter? Isn’t that where this blog started? LOL!
I’m going to have to write the letter at home. Gotta get this mail together so I can get out of here!
LOL, I’m pretty sure that’s where the blog started but on my days you can never tell where the blog starts and where it ends. LOL
Poor Q! He posted eons ago and was awaiting moderation! (I wonder why it didn’t tell me…unless…Sin? Were you given a moderation notice? If so, then I can tell Q it wasn’t me.)
Nope, and I’m not signed in so I have no idea. Or maybe I got notice and I didn’t notice it (which is quite the case and I do apologize Q).
“You gotta help me TP.”
My red slushy came out of my nose. Oh Q. You crack me up.
Poor Q! Geez, can’t we get the gods of wordpress to just give him a pass?
Well, usually Q doesn’t NEED to be moderated. *LOL* So I wonder if he used a different email address. If we didn’t recognize him in disguise….
Q is spying on us. I must spy back. First I have to find my pants.
This absolutely sums it all up.
But that counts for nothing if the important member remains minuscule and he has the brain of an amoeba.
THAT is what I’ve been trying to say for eons and couldn’t find the right words. Thank you, Q!
Now, to work on this letter.
Quit with the pants shit! I can’t take anything else flying out my nose.
Aren’t those panst flying from the mainmast?
My letter. This would be for my next WIP which is barely plotted. This exercise seriously helped so thanks!
Joe & Lucas,
By the time you read this, I’ll be half way back to Richmond. I would say don’t come after me, but since that’s highly unlikely anyway, I won’t bother. It is not up to the two of you to decide who “gets me”. I am not a toy you fight over and then pass off when I no longer appeal.
Lucas – I do not want what you want and I never have. It is not your fault that I’ve not told you sooner, however, if you ever took the time to really get to know me, you would have caught on long ago. Joe knew within a week. Joe saw me when you only looked right through me.
Joe – I didn’t make this trip knowing I was going to fall for someone new. I didn’t even realize I was falling until it was too late. But until you can see I’m not the girl from you past, we can have no future. I’d rather be alone than spend my life trying to amend for someone else’s sins. I might have stayed, if you’d asked. I guess now we’ll never know.
I never meant to hurt either of you. Please give your parents my regrets and thank them for my their generosity, laughter, and acceptance. If only the two of you were more like your parents, maybe things would be different.
Sincerely,
Juliana
Chance! Woo hoo! Congrats! I can’t wait to e-read these.
Oh, and thanks for the hint about the pant chains. I wasn’t thinking clearly! LOL
Since there were so many letters today — which were SANCTIONED because of Sin’s post. . .I bought a case of parchment, so we oughta be good for a couple days! LOL
Wait — Terri, she doesn’t end up with either one of them? Sniff. There better be something even more spectacular behind Door #3.
What do ya think? One a’ them must chase her. Or both and make it really interesting!
Like I said, it’s still being plotted! LOL! But I promise, it DOES have a HEA.
Which one would you want to be the hero?
I’m leaning towards Joe, because Lucas didn’t seem to know her, or try to know here.
Although I really like the name Lucas. LOL
I’m trying to write a letter, but it seems the only ones I can write are to The Evil Twin.
Donna – You win the prize. Joe is the hero.
What is your next WIP? I couldn’t write one after I’d already written the HEA. You need one you haven’t resolved yet. What’s lined up down the pipe we can pick from?
Yay! What’s the prize?
I’ve got a couple things in mind for the next WIP. I hadn’t thought about working on something that hasn’t been resolved yet. Mmm. Maybe I should work on the pirate one. . .
But of course! *spoken in best Lumiere voice*
Well, I believe in pirate ones. Even when I toss in an alien…
*note to self, rewrite alien to alude to pirates…
*clapping* I love Joe! Poor idiot, short bus Joe who doesn’t realize a great thing when he has it… SIGN. ME. UP.
Bo’sun, you better be writing this soon.
Which reminds me I need to mail you something. And with my history of mailing shit, you’ll get it in 6-8 months.
Hellion, I’m confused — you like Joe? Or you don’t? LOL I read it both ways.
Chance, thanks for the blog comment — it was much appreciated!
Bo’sun, I love your Lumiere voice. I’m stealing it now–thank you.
Zut Alor!
Had to get that out.
So glad you like Joe, Hellie. He’s totally up our alley. Stubborn and pig-headed with a dash of brooding. His saving grace is that he has a really cool dog. And the big boat and the motorcycle are kind of cool too.
Give me a man in workboots any day.
Donna? You writing me another check?
“I’m gonna be rich! I’m gonna be rich!”
LOL!
A real cool dog!? Go, Joe!
Donna, I can see where that was confusing. Just because I think Joe is currently driving the short bus, doesn’t mean I don’t adore him. Stubborn, pig-headed men are my favorite men to read. It’s so much fun to watch them crumple and fall into the clutches of love.
*sighs* He’s got a dog? He’s so dreamy. Ooooh, he’s Josh Lucas! This is Sweet Home Alabama!!!!
Chance – He’s pretty much my old dog. Every dog I write is Dozer. LOL! I used him in a short story I wrote last year and still haven’t done anything with. Very short, like 1000 words or a little more. I love that story, I should dig that out.
Well, Joe and Lucas are brothers, so not exactly Sweet Home Alabama. But similar!
Joe is maybe 6′, short dark hair, constant 5 o’clock shadow, lots of jeans and boots. Crinkle around the eyes from spending his life on the water. Beer drinker.
Lucas looks like him only sleeker and cleaning. He’s a lawyer, real fancy pants. Wine drinker.
Ick. Wine drinkers.
Beer drinkers–now those guys I adore. You and your crinkle-eyed men.
Both my guys work in the son. When I get to Andrew’s story, he won’t have crinkled eyes. He’s a cop, not so much in the sun.
son = sun.
*sigh*
*giggle
I like sunbaked faces…well, not too baked. But enough to see some signs of it. And crinkles around the eyes…sigh.
I loathe not having internet at home. I feel like Hellie living in the Amish times.
*le sigh*
I vote for a new guy. Joe sounds like someone who needs a good punch in the eye socket and well, the lawyer… lawyers can’t be trusted. Like theives and murderers. Especially if he’s a pinky-up wine drinker.
But I’m with Chanceroo. I think everyone should come a-courtin’.
I’m sorry, you gals must have me confuzzled with Dee. LOL! There will be NO THREESOMES in the making of this book. *gives evil eye*