by Hellion | July 14th, 2010
Welcome to the Money, Honey Blog tour, in which author Susan Sey celebrates the July 6 release of her debut novel by counting down the Top Ten Most Common Reactions an ill-groomed stay at home mom receives when confessing her secret career as a romance novelist.
Ahoy the Pirate Ship Revenge! Thanks so much for helping me launch my beloved debut novel Money, Honey! It’s a risky endeavor, launching a career in these uncertain times. Happily, I have a sense of humor about the whole thing. You write unpublished romance novels for any length of time, especially contemporaries –the subgenre least likely to sell, WOOT!—you laugh or you cry. Up to you.
Me? I laugh.
And just to prove it, I’ve been keeping a Top Ten list. Every time I confessed my unlikely ambition to a stranger, I made a mental note of how this news was received. If nothing else, I figured it would make for a great blog tour someday when (not if) I published. And I was right!
At the Revenge today, we’ll be discussing Response #5: “It must be embarrassing, writing sex for a living.” (I saved you guys a good one. If you’re interested in hearing about the other nine, feel free to check out http://www.susansey.com/pages.php?ID=5 for details.)
So, let’s unpack this one. There are a several assumptions at work here, all of them unflattering & most of them untrue.
Assumption #1: Writing romance is unseemly because it has sex in it.
Not only do I disagree with this assumption, I actually feel bad for people who make it. And do you know why? Because the assumption within the assumption here is that sex is dirty. And that’s just sad. I mean, can you imagine believing this? That sex is, by definition, dirty & shameful? Call me a harlot, but I think sex is beautiful. Sex between people in love—or falling in love—is a gorgeous, transcendent, transformational thing. The only thing that can make it ugly is context & intention, which leads us directly to….
Assumption #2: Romance is porn for women.
Oh, heavens. Porn is sex between strangers, people. It’s purposefully stripped of emotion, connection, or context. It’s sex *made* dirty. Romance novels have sex in them, yes, but it’s sex that celebrates connection. It’s a physical manifestation of a hard-won emotional intimacy, an outer expression of an inner tenderness. And I’m sorry but that is NOT the same thing. Read Mary Balogh if you don’t believe me. She’s the queen of the Bad Sex Scene, in which her characters have sex too early, before they’re in love, & it’s painful and awful and bordering on tragic. Susan Elizabeth Phillips does a bang up (heh) job of this, too. After they fall in love, though, it’s a different story & the sex scenes that ensue prove it.
Assumption #3: I’m making a living writing this stuff.
Oh, crap, are you serious? Yeah, me & Dan Brown. We’re raking it in. They issue you a villa in the south of France with your publishing contract, didn’t you know? Okay, seriously now. I write *contemporaries.* Getting a contract alone was a miracle. I don’t expect to make any money. Not until somebody comes along and blows up the genre the way Anna Campbell blew up the historical genre with her first Regency Noir a few years back. Would I love to be that girl? Hells, yeah. Am I planning to be? Um, not really. If I’m making enough money to help out with college tuition by the time my 7 year old graduates from high school, the universe & I will be square.
Assumption #4: Writing sex is cheap & easy, and you wouldn’t need to go there if you had any real talent.
Oh, please. Like all action scenes, sex scenes are incredibly difficult to write. (If you do them right, anyway.) A sex scene isn’t just about sex any more than a fight scene is just about the punching. You don’t punch somebody because you feel like punching them. You punch them because you have a goal & they’re in your way. Sex scenes are the same way. Characters have sex because they have a goal—they want physical or emotional gratification, they want power, they want to prove something to or about themselves, they want to distract, entice, entrap, endear, connect, something. Sex gets them closer to the goal. Period. And when you write a sex scene, it needs to work on every level—the physical action, the emotional punch it packs & the power struggle. Who’s getting what out of this? If the reader finishes the scene & doesn’t see where the plot moved forward, you didn’t do it right. (Revisions! Yay!)
So here’s a sexy scene from Money, Honey to prove my point. There’s a lot more going on here than just sexual tension. It was a ton of fun to write. Hope you enjoy it!
Patrick frowned and took his first step backward since Liz had stepped out of her car. Those bluebell eyes of hers had gone all calculating, and he had to squash the heady little zip of adrenaline that look always sent racing through his veins. God, he loved a woman with a plan. Liz’s plans had never gone well for him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate a woman with guileless eyes, a china-doll face and a crafty, devious mind.
“What now?” he asked warily.
She blinked, as if she’d just realized he was standing in her doorway, as if they hadn’t spent the last ten minutes toe to toe, hissing at one another. Then a smile curved her lips, a smile so packed with carnal promise that his mouth went dry. “Come inside, Patrick.”
He obeyed, his brain in high-analysis mode while his body was just hopeful. He fell back on the habits of a lifetime and slouched easily against the foyer wall. Act like you know what you’re doing, like you have every right in the world to be exactly where you are, and people believed you. His ability to exude superiority had bought him considerable time in many a sticky situation over the years, and he was counting on it now. Because Liz had a new angle here, something he couldn’t quite figure out.
He gave her a lazy grin, something slow and easy and somehow southern despite the fact that he’d been born in Iowa and had never spent more than a few weeks at a pop below the Mason-Dixon. “What now? Are you going to offer me some sweet tea? Because busting into your house all afternoon surely was a thirsty job.”
His breath backed up in his chest when she laid her small, cool palm against his jaw and smoothed her thumb over his cheekbone.
“You had a little something,” she said. “Just there.”
His entire system surged to attention, making the space between their bodies suddenly supercharged and electric. But a part of his brain hung back, wondered. She’d sounded like the Liz he knew, all brisk and direct, so why was she touching him like the Liz of his dreams? Something was off.
His body didn’t much care. It was still hung up on the part where Liz was six inches from his mouth and looking suggestible. He forced himself to speak, had to really dig for an appropriately amused tone. “Liz. Darling. What are you doing?”
She leaned in, eyes wide, the faintest hint of calculation still swirling in the deep, deep blue. “I’m saying yes,” she breathed.
Then she kissed him. If he hadn’t already been leaning up against the wall, he’d have sagged there for sure. He’d kissed Liz enough lately to anticipate the punch of it, to know that it would be sweet, sharp and addictively hot, that it would have him dancing perilously close to the edge of control. How could he have possibly known she’d been holding back all this time?
But she had been. Must have. Because this kiss was like nothing he’d ever experienced. It was like being there for the birth of a star. Blinding light, incinerating heat and a merciless gravity that had him helplessly circling her like a planet in orbit. He felt his arms band around her, his mouth open to the demand of hers. The edges of reality blurred, and his entire world narrowed to her. Just her. A curvy little angel with a gun and a badge who was pressed up against him and kissing him like the fate of the free world depended on making him happy.
And she was doing a damn good job, because he was extremely happy. He tried to loosen his grip on her, show a little finesse, but she wriggled against him and said it again. “Yes.”
He lost track of his thinking. He didn’t know exactly which of them had opened the buttons of her ugly suit coat, but he slid his hand inside to find her breast. She made a hot little noise against his mouth and arched into his hand until he could feel the jut of her nipple through her shirt. Lust pounded through his veins in a steady, accelerating pulse, and he brushed his thumb over her nipple until her head lolled forward and her breathing went ragged.
Which was nice, because his own wasn’t so steady, come to think of it.
“Yes,” she said, her forehead against his shoulder, both hands fisted in his shirt. Patrick glanced toward the living room, dismissed the curvy lady couch and the hardwood floor. That wouldn’t do. He wanted a bed. A big one. He slid his hand from her shirt, vaguely disturbed at how difficult it was for his body to process the command from his mind to let her go.
“God, Liz,” he said, shaken. “I want—” He broke off. He couldn’t define exactly what he wanted. Her body, yes. And Lord, that mouth. Everywhere. But more. There was something primal and possessive racing through his system. Something that made him want to mark her, own her, claim her.
“Yes,” she said again. “Yes, yes, yes.” She chanted it like a mantra, her eyes closed, her pulse beating like mad in the delicate hollow of her throat. And it pierced the fog of desire just enough for a chilling note of doubt to creep in.
It was all she’d been saying, yes. It was all he’d wanted to hear from her for years. So why did it feel wrong?
So, let’s hear from you now! Do you have a favorite author for sex scenes? Somebody who does this action-on-all-levels thing particularly well? I offer you Mary Balogh, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, and Jenny Crusie as my personal heroes in this category. Who do you love? Five lucky commenters will win a copy of Money, Honey for their very own!
Ah, that’s so sweet. You may regret making the offer (I’m a little spastik right now) but I’d love to have your input. Right now my biggest fear is not having a good pitch by the time I get there. But I am determined! Lightning will strike and something brilliant will show up. I hope.
Likely from someone else, but I’ll take it however I can get it.
Quantum wrote: As the only man aboard I claim the honor and privilege of toasting the birth of a lovely new romance sex Goddess. Pirates, a new star is born!
OMG, a TOAST? I’m…speechless. This is so great! I feel like I won an Oscar! Thank you! I love you all!
Or maybe that’s the Warm Car talking? I had a few earlier. 2nd Chance gave me one. Maybe two? Hell, I don’t remember. I’m just really, really happy to be here.
Bo’sun wrote: My sister is 41 and I’m 38. We still bicker if we’re in the same room too long.
Awwwwwww. Well, there goes the next…rest of my life. [sigh] Maybe I’ll develop selective hearing.
The Banditas are some of the coolest chicks going. Really awesome bunch. You ladies are the perfect example of perseverance and persistance and how you can judge a writer by the friends she keeps. The success achieved by your group is not a fluke by any means. I’m very thankful I stumbled over that blog a few years ago and have been fortunate enough to meet most of you in person.
BTW – When I met Susan, she made me laugh so hard my sides hurt. She really is this cool in person too. LOL!
Joanie T wrote: My brother sneers that I’m writing “smut”…and then proceeds to claim that I will buy him a new truck when I sell.
Boys. They’re so self-centered.
If you do buy him that truck, make sure it’s pink.
Bo’sun wrote: OMG! I love that scene on the dock. But then, I ADORE Phin. He’s my dream man, which explains why I will die single. *sigh*
Oh, Phin. The shirts! Come to think of it, Patrick has a thing for really nice shirts…my homage to Crusie? Or my latent crush on Phin. Hmmmm.
We all deserve a Phin. Don’t settle, sister!
Wait, Patrick is going to be IN YOUR ROOM?! I must have that room number!
Don’t ya love a good guest!? We need a good nautical name fer this hall a’ fame thingy… The Swinging Hammock? The Golden Brig? Hanging from the Main Mast? The Master of the Yardarm? Or Mistress…
Always plenty a’ rum on the Revenge… Have another, Susan!
*leans on the bar, head resting on hand
It isn’t that I don’t appreciate foreplay, but I guess I’m more the main event sailor… And no, I am not a man.
Hellion wrote: I need to dig out that book again. I know I have it SOMEWHERE.
Oh, it’s my favorite romance ever. I never have it in the house, though, because I keep giving it to people & saying, “This is the best romance ever!”
Definitely find it. So worthwhile!
I read it when it first came out, and I know I remember that scene, surely!–I think I was just a bigger fan of Bet Me because of the Krispy Kreme scene. *LOL*
Sin wrote: I write first person so maybe it’s just me writing in my FP POV that gets me all tangled up.
OMG, props to you. I can’t imagine writing a sex scene in the first person! To try to put into language everything that’s going that would sound natural spoken…sheesh. I totally admire that. I salute you.
Okay, quiet time is over and the kids are upon me. I know I’m not caught up on the comments but I swear I’ll be back after piano lessons & library time to try again.
I’m glad I knocked back a few Warm Cars before I had to hit the road though!
Back in an hour or two!
But what I meant was more that I write character driven books … I’m just, you know, writing my little love stories.
Thank you, Susan! Because this IS exactly what I want in a Romance.
An intimate little love story driven by characters.
A writer can throw in all the Bells & Whistles & Big Whatever elements that he/she wants. But with out that basic little core love story? OhMyGawdddd! A story full of Bells & Whistles & Big Whateversis but no core … is like a buxom wench with out a corset and stays. Or in the contemp world … a decent bra.
With out that good, basic foundation?
The story just won’t hold up.
The story won’t hold up, Jules, but what you just described was a topless woman, and every straight man I know just went, “What’s the problem with that? I don’t understand.”
LOL! I was thinking Jules has a good point, but there’s a difference between a simple white number from Wally World and a lacy bit from Fredrick’s of Hollywood.
If you don’t have the lace and bows, you have to find another way to make your white cotton look hot.
A nice bit of sparkle dangling between the girls can help out…
I think the analogy is backwards. The boobs are what make the show. The bells and whistles are the bra–all the lace in the world isn’t going to make up for the fact that you’ve got a push up but nothing to show.
Why I’m A Reader Notta Writer
Sin wrote: I write first person so maybe it’s just me writing in my FP POV that gets me all tangled up.
Susan wrote: OMG, props to you. I can’t imagine writing a sex scene in the first person! To try to put into language everything that’s going that would sound natural spoken…sheesh.
Ooohh I Can use natural sounding language all right …. But somehow I think that sentences like “Baby, can you take out the garbage when you done.“ aren’t going to get me a book deal! LOL
Or any Fans1
Wow, what a great conversation today! Not that I had anything worthwhile to add. LOL But it was great to stop revising and come in and watch every once in a while.
*knocks back a couple tankards*
Okay, back to it.
Are you saying I have to figure out how to prove I have good tits in my pitch?
Oh jeez ITs like the Chicken or the Egg.
Cept its which came first? the Boobs or The Bra?
And I iknow what SIN’s answer is.
Yep.
She’d say … The guy.
Go, Donna! Go, Donna! Go, Donna!
Don’t be silly. Sin would say, “Stick a gun in the damn bra and be done with it.”
Bo’sun said: Wait, Patrick is going to be IN YOUR ROOM?! I must have that room number!
Um, sorry mate……but the bunks are only Queen size there in the Swan and only enough room for me boyo and…me
Even Susan will have to knock before coming in
BTW, thank you for all your kind words for the Bandits! We HEART our BB’s!!!
Are you saying I have to figure out how to prove I have good tits in my pitch?
Hey Terri, I’m Not touching that one. Or should that be twooooo …
You’re a mean, mean woman, Joanie T!
LOL!
Bandita love is easy to give. Y’all give it right back.
“Don’t be silly. Sin would say, “Stick a gun in the damn bra and be done with it.”
A little sliver of a knife, you can get away with. Sticking a gun between the Twins is probably ill advised. Something of that caliber loaded and ready to blow can really make a mess of things.
*grin*
Crap, forgot to end the italics.
The Pirates heart the Banditas. That’s just how it rolls ’round here.
Right, because something SHARP in there is a better option.
Uh, no. LOL!
“I can’t imagine writing a sex scene in the first person! To try to put into language everything that’s going that would sound natural spoken…sheesh.
Writing in third person is like trying to pry up someone’s fingernails with a rusty screwdriver without them screaming like a baby- At least it is for me. It’s tedious, and my writing of third person reads very elementary. I salute all the writers who write in third person. More power to you gals.
You have to be VERY careful with said sharp object but if I’m going to have a weapon between the tatas, I’m not packing a loaded firearm.
Though, I now have a hankering for a bazooka after I told Jules I would get her a bedazzled one.
Are you saying I have to figure out how to prove I have good tits in my pitch?
Not only that. You have to prove you have UNIQUE tits. Tits this guy hasn’t seen before–but he wants to see him real bad.
You have to have bedazzled tits.
Sticking a gun between the Twins is probably ill advised. Something of that caliber loaded and ready to blow can really make a mess of things.
My inner teenage boy just laughed his ass off.
Bedazzled tits…hmmm. The Bedazzled Tit…and I have just the glass for it!
I have to bedazzle them?! Man, the girls are NOT going to like this. Though, it’s better that Vejazzling.
WOW! Okay, I don’t have time to read through 138!!! comments.
I wanted to chime in here and say that I absolutely LOVE your blog Susan! I totally agree with everything you said and you said it perfectly. I can’t wait to get my hands on Money, Honey. Sounds like it is right up my alley!
I adore Mary Balogh, SEP, Lisa Kleypas, Elizabeth Hoyt, Jenny Crusie. They all do an awesome job with their sex scenes.
I think one of things I love the best about Balogh is how she writes the awkward, train wreck sex scenes and then hits it out of the park after the couple fall in love. I’m always on the lookout for contemporaries who can do the same thing. I suppose because women (and men) are supposed to be so much more aware of their bodies and sex in general nowadays that writing a bad sex scene is harder in a contemporary. But I’ve read a few that are really good – one or two from SEP!
“Sticking a gun between the Twins is probably ill advised. Something of that caliber loaded and ready to blow can really make a mess of things.”
“My inner teenage boy just laughed his ass off.”
I know. I cracked up laughing. A pearl necklace of blood is really not my thing.
Not only that. You have to prove you have UNIQUE tits. Tits this guy hasn’t seen before–but he wants to see him real bad.
I love this. *giggle* A lot.
Hope I’m not making this manuscript worse with these revisions.
*knocks back another tankard of rum*
Susan and all you pirate ladies, ahoy! I can’t wait to get my hands on this book, Susan. I adore contemporaries (and write them, but that’s neither here nor there). I think the reason they are so hard to sell is because it’s really hard to stand out. Your book obviously will because you have such a clever and distinctive voice.
My contemp fave for sex that works on all levels is Kristan Higgins. I think Krisin is simply brilliant. She writes characters you want to live next door to and invite over for a barbecue. When her couples finally get intimate, there are so many layers of story involved it’s a bit mind-boggling – or it would be, if you stepped back and analyzed it.
I do, sadly, because I can’t help it. Writing has had a negative effect on my reading habits. It has, though, made me very aware of what makes a good story different from a great story. Your story seems to have all the ingredients for a stand-out, keeper shelf read. Again, where is my copy?!
Sex alone just isn’t enough. Maybe it’s because I’ve been married a while now, or maybe it’s because I’m looking 40 in the eye but sex by itself just doesn’t interest me the way it once did. I want the whys. I want well-motivated sex. I want sex with high stakes. I want both players all-in, or I don’t want to read about it.
Okay, I’m trying to catch up on the posts and this one completely nailed it again, Susan!!! Wow, now I really can’t wait to read your book. You are saying what I’ve been thinking for years. Forget about writing books, do seminars on the importance of communication and connection in a relationship! LOL
You have to have bedazzled tits.
ROFLMAO…….
Hellie said: I mean I’ve been on bad dates with guys who have accused me of reading porn–but he was a chromosome from being a girl anyway so I’m not concerned about him–but women who sneer and go, “You read porn” really annoys me. It’s not a story about sex, but even if it were, what do you have against sex or me liking sex?
First of all, a big SNORKing laugh on the guy being a chromo away from a girl anyway. Second, let me stand up in my pew and wave my lace hankie and say, AMEN, SISTER HELLIE!!!
Chance said:In honor of Susan…new drink! The Hook Seys! (pun intended). Several rums blended together until the original attraction seems hard to pinpoint…but it’s there and delicious.
I love that! I want one! It’s been a long hard slog through some editing. I’m due one.
A Hook Seys, please, Ms. Chance!
Bo’Sun said: >i>Don’t be silly. Sin would say, “Stick a gun in the damn bra and be done with it.”
and Right, because something SHARP in there is a better option. Uh, no. LOL!
ROFLMAO!! This would be why the Banditas heart the Pirates right back.
SNORK!
A full bar a’ Hook Seys coming right up!
Guests, friends and you crazy ass Banditas… I had a fabulous time with y’all today. Susan, I wish you mad luck with your new book release. You’re a gem!
Now, pirates, I’m taking the troublesome Undead Monkey and going up to the nest. If the nest is shaking don’t come a shimmying.
Sin, hope Ranger is up there because the thought of you and the Undead Monkey shaking the crowsnest is just…blech!
Susan, what a fabulous post. I love your voice. And I’m very impressed with your male POV there.
I don’t have a fave for sex scenes. But the scenes I like are the ones with emotional content or emotional punch at the end, the ones that really, truly mean shake things up for one or both characters.
*sinful grin* I’ll never tell.
*looking around* those wenches will come after him if I say his name aloud. Whisper it in his ear… yes. Screaming it aloud… Only if Lisa and Hal can’t strangle me.
Wow, what a fabulous day! I missed a lot of the fun, but thanks Susan for being here!
Sin, I love Kim Harrison’s books, too.
but even if it were, what do you have against sex or me liking sex?
Hellion, The Fact that he has issues with you liking sex says a lot about the Status of his chromosomes!
Thank you for stopping by, Susan! And Congratulations again on the release of MONEY, HONEY.
Good lord, I leave for a couple hours & the place goes mad with bedazzled vajayjays, guns in bras & absolutely unique tittays.
I love it here. Can I move in?
Seriously, though, I had a hella bad afternoon with the kiddoes (my oldest literally wept through her piano lesson–the teacher was like, “What the heck?”) and I dumped the kids on my husband & went out to dinner with my moms club where I had two glasses of wine (an Australian red called Woop woop! which I ordered just like that–woop woop!) and now here I am all tipsy & happy & loving you all & thanks so much for a wonderful day. I had so much fun & can’t believe this is my job now.
Except for when I’m chasing my kids. Who stayed awake to say goodnight. Who smell so sweet & missed me. So it’s all good.
Good night, Pirate Ship Revenge! We Crazy Ass Banditas salute you & look forward to our next get-together!
Much love–Smoov xxoxoxoxoxo
p.s. I really do want to run pitches with you, Bo’sun, so don’t be shy about looking me up in Orlando. I love refining pitches. Makes me happy. Drink by the pool & pitching! Yahoo!
We do get a little punchy the later it gets. LOL!
This has been such a great day. Susan, you have this guest pirate stuff down pat! Thanks for joining us and you have a cabin with your name on it anytime you want. Pitching by the pool sounds good to me. I will definitely find you.
Not fair! Susan got some Woop woop? Ooooh! I want some Woop woop too!
Though I’d probably settle for some Woop-ee.
My Daily Feng Shui Tip of the day says that today is ‘National Nude Day. Seriously.
Well. Now I don’t know about the rest of you, but no Feng Shui guru is gonna get me to run around completely nekked.
It simply isn’t seemly.
SIN ?
Can I borrow your Bedazzler ?
And Finally …
Susan, I’m glad that you’re bemused by bedazzled vajayjays, guns in bras & absolutely unique tittays.
Because you might wake up in the morning with a few bedazzled body parts.
SIN said I wish you mad luck with your new book release. You’re a gem!
You’re a gem?
You’re … a … gem. A GEM? That’s Pirate code for …Your bosom is as good as bedazzled!
Lots of comments. You are very popular. It took me forever to get to the bottom. LOL.
Good luck with the book. I cannot wait to read it.
I forgot to answer your question – SEP, Toni Blake, Erin McCarthy, Susan Mallery, Rachel Gibson, HelenKay Dimon write some hot sexy scenes.
lesliekelly
vicki thompson
megan hart so hot’
congrat s on teh book
Welcome, Pat L. and kh to the blog. Those are all popular choices, and a few I haven’t read yet. Thanks for adding some new ones to the list!