I spent the last ten weeks childless and pretty much all alone. Except for Bumblebee, but he’s not much of a conversationalist. Back in May I had big plans. Big goals and for the first time, they were within sight.

June and half of July was my revision class. Learned a ton, totally motivated, ready to polish this baby up. The end of July was the RWA Conference where I pitched said mostly unpolished MS and got even more motivation to finish in the form of a full request. Sending off at the end of September seemed doable. No problem.

And yet, all these best laid plans were totally mucked up. Blown to smithereens. Obliterated. By whom, you ask?

ME.

Yeah, I know, I’m an idiot. Late May I decided we should buy a house. June kicked off with house hunting and we must have seen a couple dozen a week. I was still revising, but not nearly as much as I should have been. Hunting turned to offering which turned to a complete cluster and eventually fell into the crapper. Eventually being two months and two days. Not that I was counting.

So now kiddo is back, my dad is here for a visit, and I have a month to get this shit done. Here’s my new plan. The desk is going into my bedroom so I can sequester myself as far from the living room and television as I can get. It’ll be right in front of a wall so I can plaster my storyboard up there. September will be all writing all the time.

What about you? When you have a deadline you simply can’t continue to piss away, what extreme measures do you take? Ever been the ruin of your own best laid plans? Anyone willing to pitch in and revise this book for me? (It was worth a try.)

There’s an author I love who shall remain nameless, but I recently realized her heroines all seem to be the same woman. Well, I haven’t read all her books, but I’ve read five of them and four of the heroines could be interchangeable. They each come across as how I imagine the author to be. Smart, self-deprecating, funny, and occasionally cranky.

Not long ago, we took tests to see what kind of “girl” we all were, and if I remember correctly, the results for our heroines usually matched the results for ourselves. At least I know that was the result in my case. I don’t consider this a problem, but it does make me wonder. Am I writing me over and over again?

My heroines show up in my mind. They appear out of nowhere, usually bringing their hero along for the official introductions, then set up camp in my brain as if waiting for the blow out sale at Kleinfeld’s. Because of this, I rarely think of them as my creations, but rather characters already fully formed who just happen to live in my brain. Who I’ve only just met.

If this were the case, you’d think they would all be different, and in some ways they are. But in many ways they are not. Other than all being brunette and slender, my heroines are not the trusting sort, they often don’t think very highly of themselves, and to say they are skeptical of men is an understatement.

But, while Emma is a control freak, Melissa is a push over looking for her spine. Bridgit is a hard ass hiding her mushy, vulnerable center behind a wall of attitude and rebellion, and Anna is enjoying finding her hidden sex kitten. They are different yet similar. And still, at the risk of revealing too much, they are all versions of me.

Just as we all have a core story, do you have a core heroine? How do your heroines come to be? Do they just show up or do you build them like haute couture on a dress form? Is there an author you’ve read where it seemed her heroines could blend together? (No names necessary…karma and all that.) And do you ever worry that your characters are not different enough to stand apart?

We’ve talked often about defending our genre. About hiding our covers and keeping our work under wraps from those in our “regular” lives. In all the years I’ve been reading, I’ve never felt the need to hide my books, and if someone disapproved, they didn’t tell me to my face. Sometime in the last year, I started telling anyone who asked that I’m a writer and easily elaborated on my genre of Romance…if asked.

Basically, to the world at large, I’m loud and proud about what I read and what I write. But for some reason, at the RWA National Conference, surrounded by other writers just like me, I found myself anything but loud and proud.

I lost track of how many times I was asked the ever popular “What do you write?” question at Nationals, but I know my answer over and over again was “Just Contemporary.” What the heck is up with that? I love Contemporaries and have for years. I like what I write, and have no desire to write anything else. To the world in general, I’m fine with being a Contemporary Romance author.

But not to the Romance writing world.

My best guess for why I do this is that high concept thing we hear about all the time. I have no time travel, no vampires, no fairies, no angels, no Dukes, no wallflowers, no SEALs, no FBI agents, no CEOs or Sheiks or Greek Tycoons. There’s no murder, no mayhem, no mythology mixed with modern times.

Just Contemporary.

What I do have is in depth stories about falling in love, dealing with family, overcoming hurt and healing broken hearts. So why isn’t that enough? Why does that end up with “just” in its description? It doesn’t deserve the “just” and I’m going to do my best to take it out.

When asked “What do you write?”, what is your usual answer? Does it differ depending on who’s asking? Do you prefer not to elaborate? Does your answer ever result in curiosity and a lengthy conversation about what it’s like to write sex? (I’ve now answered this twice in as many months – to total strangers.) Has your answer changed over the years and are you sometimes surprised by the reactions you get?

It’s well after ten o’clock on Monday night and I’m trying to figure out what to blog about. I could try being witty and original, but that would require energy and effort, two things I’m short of at the moment. And since I never manage to be witty or original any other time, why rock the boat now.

Here’s my problem – I’m a planner. Hellie would use the term “control freak”, but that’s such a negative way to put it. So we’ll stick with planner. I don’t have to plan everything. I don’t make lists, I don’t keep a calendar in my purse I must consult every time something comes up. I can drop everything for a last minute road trip. Sometimes.

But when it comes to the big stuff, like, say, where we’re going to live? I need to know that. I need to plan ahead for that and right now planning is officially impossible. Every week there’s a new development with the house buying thing. I knew this would be bumpy, goodness knows enough people warned me about the pitfalls and sleepless nights ahead of me. Still, this seriously sucks donkey balls.

Last week we were trolling along just fine. Then Friday, the shit hit the poop deck and it was all up in the air again. By ten Monday morning, we were back to smooth sailing. By eight Monday night, the wind died completely and we are officially dead in the water.

What does any of this have to do with writing? A LOT. I have two stories to revise and submit. I have requests I need to fulfill. I have stories bouncing around in my head and characters chomping at the bit to get their lives on the page. But my brain is too distracted. We could be moving, we might not. We could be buying, we could not. We might be staying put, we might not.

How am I supposed to maintain the juggling act that is my life if people keep throwing battle axes and flaming Twinkies into the fray?!

*taps toe, waiting*

Well? I’m asking you pirates for an answer. You didn’t think I was going to answer my own question, did you? Come on, you know better than that. Seriously, we all have distractions. Successful, even prolific writers have distractions. This is not the Nora thing where it’s embrace the hard, eat the hard for breakfast, and just put your ass in the chair.

This is NO MORE HOURS IN THE DAY kind of stuff. So, who has the damn time machine and who do I have to pay (or stab) to use it?

Scapegoat & 2nd Chance

O – Open Arms – The entire first day of conference is basically one hug after another. There’s the hugs in the middle when someone gets a request or maybe doesn’t get a request. Then there are the kind we don’t like so much – the hugs goodbye. Even Hellie would like these hugs, they are the fuel that keep us all going during what is always one of the most draining weeks of the year.     

E – Energy – There is a buzz in the air at any writing conference, but the current surrounding Nationals is best described as a tsunami of sheer joy. There are waves of enthusiasm you can’t help but catch a ride on, and it’s no wonder the end result is an exhaustion that takes days from which to recover.     

2nd Chance, Scapegoat, Maggie Robinson, Tiffany Clare, Sara Lindsey, JK Koi

I don’t know what my life would be like today if I hadn’t stumbled across the Eloisa James bulletin board four years ago, fell in with a group of amazing women, and caught the bug of wanting to be a published Romance author, but I prefer not to think about it. The way I see it, I was meant to be here. We were all meant to be here. And I cannot wait for the day we are all sitting around in a shadowy bar in some high-falutin’ hotel, downing rum and laughing our pirate asses off.     

Thank you to all the amazing people I celebrated with, laughed with, and learned from in Orlando this year. I raise my tankard to you and say, “Look out New York, here we come.”

The Twins

Most of you  know I’m heading off to the RWA National Conference this week (tomorrow to be exact) and while there, I have appointments to pitch my work. For this reason, I’ve spent the majority of this month attempting to write a pitch for my full-length MS. The only thing I’ve managed to produce are tears of frustration and lots of gray hair.

I was determined to finish these bad boys off this weekend. However, there was this little thing called “packing” that had to take place. Which required “planning” out a wardrobe, which led to that horrifying thing called “shopping”. Oh, and laundry. I can iron there, right?

Anyway, I kept opening the file, staring off into space, watching some television (Ocean’s 12 AND The Holiday were on – what’s a girl to do?!), and then closing the file. *sigh* I dug in again last night, television off, and got these. All input (provided it’s gentle) is welcome.

One story, My Anna is an 18,000 word Contemporary Erotic Romance I wrote a couple years ago. Time to dust it off and get her out there. Here’s what I have.

There’s nothing like raging hormones, a heat wave and a sexy, younger man to throw a woman off kilter.  Throw in sensual dreams and the subject of those dreams showing up at her front door, and Anna Robinson is definitely off kilter. A repressed librarian resigned to her fate of spinsterhood, thirty-five year old Anna is pleasantly surprised when the much younger Max Collier suggests they share a private dinner. She’s repressed but not dead, so of course, she says yes.

When Anna slips and tells her man-eating sibling Max is coming for dinner, little sister insinuates he’s only coming for the food.  Fed up and afraid her sister might be right, Anna decides to put herself on the menu. Lucky for her, Max is only too happy to feast on what Anna has to offer.  One night of heat turns into one incredible week of passion, and a new Anna springs to life. But when Max confesses it’s time for him to leave, will the new Anna be able to stand on her own, or will she become the spinster forever longing for the one that got away?

Chance doesn’t like the fishing metaphor in the last line, which is so cliché that I didn’t even make the fishing connection. Sad, I know. I’m working on it. (For the record, there is a HFN at the end of this one.)

The other, Playing For Keeps, is my Contemporary Single-Title, which is proving beyond impossible to sum up. My sad offering so far.

High school teacher Emma Dawson has a real problem on her hands, and Major League hunk turned high school coach, Nate Campbell, isn’t helping.

All she had to do was lock in the new text books already promised, but when she refuses to meet her boss’ terms, it’s bye-bye books and hello baseballs. Now she has to convince Nate to turn down his new equipment in order to get the money back. 

Problem is, Nate’s not turning down anything. His boys need that new equipment, and he’s not about to give it up, even for the enticing Emma Dawson. Then again, he’s not immune to her plight either. Or those honey brown eyes.

Joining forces to raise new funds for the books, it’s not long before Emma and Nate cross the line from coworkers to something more. A something more that sparks a burning jealously that could cost Emma much more than her job.

As you can see, I SUCK at last lines. The problem with this one is that I have to go from fun and light to DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNNNNN. Not so easy.

Now, give me what you’ve got. Feel free to ask questions about these stories as I’m guessing that might jog something loose in my brain. Oh, and one more thing. Any suggestions on how to pack five pairs of shoes in this suitcase?

We have a killer day in store for our Pirate Pals today. I won’t say this is the best guest we’ve ever reeled in, cause we’ve had some really cool guests, but this one is a doozey. Today we have a bona fide industry insider for the first time ever. If you read this man’s website, you may come away with the impression he has some sort of super powers. That’s what I thought anyway.

He’s a writer with more degrees than I have socks (okay, that might be a stretch), a literary agent and champion of the Romance genre, and dabbles in acting when he’s not teaching, wrangling kids, or officiating pool side. Straight out of Puget Sound, mastermind behind Greyhaus Literary Agency, I give you, Scott Eagan.

I want to thank you so much for visiting with all of you today. Hopefully the things we talk about will give you something to think about before you head out to Nationals. If you aren’t going, then keep these things in mind before you do pitch at later conferences.

I want you to think about the concept of opportunities. Successful writers in this business not only take advantage of opportunities, but they find a way to make opportunities. Along the same lines, writers that are successful make sure not to blow those opportunities when placed before them. Unfortunately, I see far too many writers that blow those chances when they pitch to editors or agents. They have waited for a chance to get their writing in front of these people and in those few short minutes, that chance is ruined. Why? They have forgotten one simple rule.

This is a job interview.

For some reason, writers seem to believe that what they do is somehow different than working in the real world of business. This couldn’t be further from the truth. If you approach pitch sessions the same way you approach any other job interview, you will have an increased chance to being successful (assuming you have strong writing skills).

BE QUALIFIED

Do you apply for jobs you aren’t qualified for? Probably not. Yet many writers are applying for coveted writing slots with editors and agents and are not qualified to do so. No, I am not talking about their writing ability, but the simple fact that their writing doesn’t fit with that editor or agent. Every house has a specific style and voice. Each editor is only looking for certain things and your writing has to be that fit. It isn’t a matter of it being well written, it has to be right.

Just because a publisher says they take romance writing does not mean they take it all. They have limits, obviously, on the genres they take, but there is a bigger issue here. They have specific voices they are looking for. I always say that vampires at Grand Central Publishing are certainly far different than those you find at Harper Collins. The voices are different.

Your job, before you even think about pitching is to make sure your writing really is what they are looking for. This isn’t a guessing game. Do your research.

BE PREPARED

For a job interview, you take the necessary time to get ready. You review your qualifications. You have projects that are finished. You have researched the person you are pitching to and know their likes and dislikes. You are aware of the business and know how things work with the business.

Being prepared means that you could be ready to start that day. This means that you should never be pitching projects that are incomplete, and this includes projects that you still want to send to your critique group for consideration. The story has to be finished. No exceptions.

When we talk about being prepared, it also involves knowing the answers to all of the questions you may be asked. Before an interview, you take the time to think through how you would answer questions about your experience and so forth. Why not for a pitch? There are a lot of times that I will ask authors questions about their story and they really don’t know the answer. These are simple questions about characters or plots. If you don’t know these answers, what does this say about your readiness?

PROFESSIONALISM

What is the image you want to give to that editor or agent? For many authors, they seem to think it is only an issue of their story being good. Unfortunately, we want to know you are someone we can work with and want to work with.

When you go to an interview with a company, do you start off by telling the person you are far from qualified? No. If this is the case, why would you start a pitch session by telling the person you are terrified and this really is the first thing you have ever done, or to tell the person you really don’t know what you are doing?

Let’s try this one. When you interview, do you dress to impress? Sure! And the same goes for pitching. Care enough to show you are the person we want.

Another element to consider goes back to being ready. You shouldn’t be reading your pitch to an editor or agent. Think about job interviews again. Do you read your resume? Then don’t read your pitch.

WHAT DO WE WANT TO HEAR?

This is really simple and straight forward. Your job is to keep things simple and to the point, but at the same time impressive. If you are going to Nationals, you need to know that we will be listening to pitches for 2 hours. You have to stand out in the crowd. I always try to break this down into THE 3 B’s. THE BASICS, THE BOOK, THE BIO

The BASICS include the information we would log into the computer. Author name, title, genre, and word count. Don’t forget all of that.

The BOOK includes the high concept and a brief summary of the book. Make sure to hit the main characters, the conflict and the solution. In this case, the key is to nail that high concept. In other words, what is it that makes your story different from everyone else out there?

The BIO is a bit about your writing career. What other projects do you have going? Where do you see yourself at in the future? Do you have prior publishing credits? Again keep it simple.

You only have 10 minutes. Make the time count and impress us.

I’ll be checking in every now and then today. Send me your questions and comments and I will see what we can do.

Scott

Bo’sun here reporting live from the Left Coast. It’s quite early out here and our guest isn’t exactly a morning girl. To make sure we’re not left hanging, wonder-author Loucinda McGary sent us her hot, hunky, Irish leading man of her latest release, WILD IRISH SEA. (Which just happened to hit stores yesterday. Booyah!)

Bo’sun: So, Inspector Hennessey, or Kevin, if you’d prefer, most of us pirates have never been to your little corner of the planet. Can you tell us a bit about it?

Kevin: Thank you for inviting me here, Bo’sun. (looks about with a growing frown) This is quite an interesting ship, not to mention crew here on the Revenge.

I’ve not been an inspector for a good long while, so Kevin will do nicely.

I actually have a flat in Armagh City, a nice enough place. My sister and her husband live in Armagh too. But I’m currently spending my holiday at my late father’s cottage by the sea in County Donegal which is in the Republic. The closest village is Malin Head, the northern most point in Ireland and on the Atlantic Ocean.

‘Tis an isolated area with only a few tourists. Most folks have lived here for generations, taking their living from the sea. I think my father moved here ten years ago because my mother had died and he missed her too much to stay in the old house. ‘Tis nice and quiet with plenty of time just for thinking. My father liked that and so do I.

Bo’sun: I hear you’re a loner, what’s up with that?

Kevin: And precisely where would you be hearing that? (rolls his eyes) Oh never mind, ‘tis a hazard of small town life that everyone in the vicinity makes it a point to know your business. And what they don’t know, they’ll presume, which is even worse.

‘Tis no crime that I happen to prefer my own company. Besides, there’s been plenty to keep me busy cleaning and fixing up the house and garden, and I’ve the sound of the sea to keep me company.

Bo’sun: My crack research team tells me you have a soft spot for an American woman named Amber O’Neill. How did you and Ms. O’Neill meet? Pick her up at the local pub?

Kevin: And just where did you hear such information, then? (narrows his eyes in suspicion) I most certainly did not meet Amber at Callahan’s. The publican may be a bit of an old lecher, but he runs a respectable establishment. As a matter of fact, some of the locals actually sent her out to my cottage…

But those details are most certainly not something I’m willing to discuss. (Kevin realizes he has slipped too close to blustery) However, if your research team were any good a ‘tall then they’d know that Amber does not create a soft spot anywhere on my anatomy. Ahem… (ducks his head to hide the blush)

Bo’sun: I have to tell you, that accent is definitely floating my dingy. Are all Irishmen as gorgeous as you are?

Kevin: Accent? I’m thinking YOU are the one with an accent, Bo’sun. As for the other… (Kevin is interrupted by the sound of scuffling and more lilting male voices). Well, perhaps you can judge after meeting two of my mates from the PSNI (Police Service of Northern Ireland). This ginger-haired knacker is Brian Walsh, and the other bogger is Derek Feeney.

(Walsh and Feeney mutter good-naturedly under their breath and give Kevin a couple of slaps on the back and arm punches)

Feeney: Holy sweet Jaysus, if I’d but known pirates looked as fine as some o’ these, I might have switched to law-breaker instead of law-upholder!

Walsh: Mind your manners, Feeney, and stop proving you were raised in a stable. These lovely lasses haven’t broken any laws, or if they have, ‘tis a long way from our jurisdiction. (His blue eyes twinkle) However, if any of them like to play with hand-cuffs, I’d be willing to oblige.

Kevin: Does that answer your question Bo’Sun? And the one about being a loner as well? (gives Feeney and Walsh a baleful look) C’mon you two gobshites, the interview is over.

Bo’sun: Wait, one more question, we have an extensive drink menu aboard this vessel and like to add new drinks in honor of our esteemed guests. Okay, esteemed might be stretching it, but what would you suggest for a drink that would represent you? Something hot, I’m thinking. And no, you can’t suggest a Guinness, that’s too easy.

Kevin: Considering I’ve stayed sober these 14 long months, and intend to continue as such, you can just brew me up a nice strong cuppa.

Feeney & Walsh: Guinness? Did someone mention a pint?

Walsh: ‘Twould be the height of rudeness to turn down such hospitality as the kind offer of a pint.

Feeney: If ‘tis too easy to suggest a Guinness, then I’m thinking we’ll need to change our names.

Walsh: Too right, you be Too and I’ll be Easy.

(Kevin sighs and shakes his head.)

 Bo’sun: Anyone named Too Easy is going to fit right in with this crew. Feel free to fire off some questions for our Irish boys here, and once Loucinda wakes up and drags herself above decks, we’ll hit her up on more information about this book and her heroine’s mysterious special ability.

I had a mini-meltdown this weekend, part of which was due to watching a movie I’ve seen several times. The movie is Where The Heart Is based on the book of the same name by Billie Letts. I’ve never read the book, but since the book is usually better than anything Hollywood does with it, and Hollywood did something great with this one, it must be a damn good book.

Essentially, a young woman finds herself pregnant, broke, and abandoned at an Oklahoma Wal-Mart. The moment she walks out of that store and realizes her boyfriend drove off without her, her life changes. It’s pretty much as bad as it could be. No money, no family, no home, and a baby on the way. This is what you call an awesome inciting incident.

My inciting incident? Not so awesome. Not even the first scene, really. This got me thinking about other inciting incidents. Mostly in the hopes of finding one more subtle so as to justify my own.

Unfortunately, this meant relying on my memory, and we all know how good that is. I’m calling pirate (or maybe parlay?) and asking you all to help me. Some of these I think I know, but several of them don’t happen at the beginning and most of them are debatable at best. So, here’s the list, you give me the inciting incident.

Sweet Home Alabama

Pride & Prejudice

Grease

When Harry Met Sally

French Kiss

Feel free to throw in your own choices. These are mine because I’m looking for something along the lines of my story. If you can think of one closer to yours, throw it out there and we’ll figure it out together.

All that celebrating over finishing my first rough draft of a novel seems like ancient history now. That was the fun part. Everything was kisses and carnivals and sock monkeys, now it’s all boring and back story and hair pulling.

In the first week of my six week revision class, I was flying high, smug even. Our assignment was to list all our scenes on index cards or post its and put them up on a board somewhere. I’d done that during the writing, so I was ahead. Oh yes, I thought I was so prepared.

Then the second week came. The opening scene. I’ve always worked at creating that perfect opening line. With this MS, I once again was smug in believing I’d written a doozy. It was an ode and a parady and cute and I thought my dreck didn’t stink.

Boy, was I wrong.

There’s a lot more to this opening than one dinky line. (Which went out the window this past weekend.)  I’ve spent two weeks trying to rework this scene. The teacher had warned us, the opening would take longer than all the rest and would be the toughest to get right. I admit, I thought she was crazy. It’s one scene, how hard could that be? Then I found out what all this scene is supposed to do.

You talk about multi-tasking.

First, you have to hook the reader in, starting in the middle of the action. But then again, you want to establish a tiny bit of the character’s normal world, before you turn it upside down. Without info dumping or bombarding the reader with back story, of course. Then you need an antagonist for the scene. Not necessarily the antagonist of the book, but someone or something who is keeping your character from getting what he/she wants.

The scene should have anywhere from four to seven beats depending on how long you want to go. (You can ask me about beats, but I’ve no idea if I can explain it to you in the comments. But if you want to know, ask and I’ll give it my best shot.) I started with three beats and have expanded to five. I’m pretty damn proud of that AND it made the scene a hell of a lot stronger.

BOOYAH!

But we aren’t done yet. This scene also needs to set up the conflict. Think of it like that opening scene in Jaws. We never see a shark. But we hear that music and we know, this ain’t good. We know something scary is coming. Your opening scene should have a hint of that Jaws music at the end. Something that makes the reader think, “Uh oh, this is going to get messy.”

And the cherry on top of the sundae, the opening scene should present a promise to your reader that you’ll fulfill in the final scene. In other words, this is the beginning of the end and will dictate all that is to follow.

All this, from one scene. No, no, my friends. This shit is not for sissies at all.

What about everyone else? You got a killer opening scene? Have you found that perfect formula, the balance that makes all these elements work seamlessly together? Anyone want to talk about the great opening scenes from our favorite authors? I think SEP might be the queen of the opening scene. Come on, she put the heroine in a beaver suit. Who does that?!

PS: This is the Revision class through Storywonk and I can’t recommend it highly enough.