You can’t expect a group of pirates to stay in one port too long.

The move, spit, and polish is going to take a couple weeks so the decks are going dark for a bit. However, we will hoist the colors once again on February 15^th. (Just in time to miss the sappy holiday barreling down on us. *g*)

The address will stay the same, but the digs will look a little different. Never fear, we’d never get rid of the rum. Look for the new and improved Romance Writers Revenge on February 15^th!

But I digress.

Thankfully, other than stirring up dust that tweaked my sinuses, it was virtually painless. My room is mostly decluttered (have more work to do today), my bed is facing south, and my desk is facing my bedroom door. No one will be sneaking up on me now. The added bonus is that now I’m right next to the storyboard which was previously behind me and to the left. I need to see my storyboard from the computer in order to work on revisions.

So now the big question is, have I worked on revisions? *shuffles to change the subject* Did anyone watch football this weekend? How ’bout those Giants!

Seriously, this is all part of the process. The process of getting the process going again. In order to proceed. (Am I talking in circles?)

What I want to know today is what is everyone reading? We’ve talked about Goals and resolutions that come with the new year, but there are also books! Our own 2^nd Chance will have the third in her Kraken’s Caribbean Series, The Pirate Circus, out in the next month or so. I know Assassin is also working on getting another book on the virtual shelves. Something different but you all are going to love it!

Who else? I see so many book release celebrations on Twitter I’m starting to wonder if they don’t come out hourly now. Tell us what you’re dying to get your hands on. It’s book pushing day on The Revenge.

And Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!!!

Many years ago I read a novella by Vicki Lewis Thompson about an interior decorator heroine who uses Feng Shui to design the hero’s home. The hero is a cowboy and the home is a ranch and a large, erupting fountain is involved. To this day, hardest I’ve ever laughed while reading a book.

But the point is, that was my first introduction to the ancient Chinese art of placement.

Though Feng Shui is still a mystery to many, most people have heard terms such as “Ch’i”, “Yin & Yang”, and “Tao”. Today we’re talking ch’i and how to get it flowing in our working area, with the positive result of the words flowing right along with it.

I have issues with clutter. My house is not spotless and will never be, but when the piles of clothes and paper and whatever else get to be too much, it’s as if giant speed bumps have popped up in my brain. Until the clutter is abated, I can’t concentrate and creativity is out the window. Every time I buckle down and clean my room (which is where I write) the speed bumps magically disappear.

Why? Because the Ch’i is flowing!

According to Skye Alexander in the book 10 Minute Feng Shui: Easy Tips For Any Room, “[t]he goal is to direct ch’i – a vital energy that animates all life – through your environment so that its movement resembles a gently flowing stream or a pleasant breeze.” If something is blocking the ch’i from flowing freely through your home, then it’s also blocking the ch’i in your life.

By using Feng Shui, we can arrange furniture, incorporate shapes and materials and even colors to balance our living space. Achieving balance in the space will help achieve balance in our lives and our minds.

What writer wouldn’t like to have more balance and an abundance of flowing creativity? Now you see where I’m going.

For those skeptics out there, I’ll give you an example of a Feng Shui issue in my home. Again, according to Ms. Alexander’s book noted above, all the systems of your home are a reflection of the systems in your body. The electrical system is a mirror of your neurological system. (As writers, we kind of need this one to work at full capacity.)

I bought this house 15 months ago and the electrical system isn’t exactly right. The light switch that turns on the stairway light cuts off all electricity to half of the living room, including the outside light, if switched down. Also, if the two switches that operate the living room ceiling fan are not in the correct positions, the fan does nothing. These positions are non-negotiable as far as I can tell.

Did I mention some outlets don’t work at all? Yes, it is an understatement to say my home electrical system is out of whack. If that isn’t the best way to describe my neurological system these days, I don’t know what is.

I can’t concentrate, get motivated, or stay focused long enough to get any real writing, or what I need these days – revision, done. My wires are crossed and for all I know all the good words are currently flowing into my pinky toe. Or out somewhere else but I really don’t think we should go there.

At this time, I can’t afford to hire an electrician to rewire my house. However, I can rearrange my room and apply Ms. Alexander’s suggestions to my work area in order to get things moving again. I hope.

The condition and even positioning of your work area “describes your attitudes toward money, your ability to attract wealth, your career goals, and your overall work situation.” It stands to reason that too much clutter on or around your desk could be holding you back. Here are three suggestions this author makes to help get that working ch’i flowing:

1. Face front!  – You need to feel relaxed and not as if anyone could wonder up behind you without being seen and startle you while you’re working. I haven’t figured out exactly how to make this work in my bedroom, but I plan to try it this weekend. I know when I’ve had my desk in an open space facing the entrance to whatever room I’m using, the words flow much better. (Wish I’d made that connection before.)

2. Bring up the lights! – The better the lighting, the better you can see. If you can see clearly, then your mind can also see clearly. The added bonus is that more light means more ch’i and ch’i is what we want. Time to start using that desk lamp again!

3. Cut the clutter! – Getting those piles of mail, receipts, story notes, and empty candy bar wrappers cleaned up and organized is going to, as Ms. Alexander says, “make room for money and opportunities to come into your life.” Oh yeah, I’m on board with this one.

Now, if your desk is covered with clutter, you have books scatted around the floor, and your desk faces a corner but you’re turning out the words and feeling good, by all means don’t change a thing. BUT, if you’re struggling (as I am) to get the brain working in the “write” direction, what harm would it be to try this?

What do you think? Are you interested in learning more? Think it’s bunk? Let’s talk writing spaces and tell us what works for you.

I say, good show, young man!

You are the winner of a digital copy of Jo Robertson’s THE TRAITOR. Send me (at DJTLO at YAHOO dot COM) the email address to which you’d like to receive your prize and I’ll forward it along to Jo.

Thanks again to our lovely and generous guest, Jo Robertson! And congrats again to Quantum!

Hi, Terri O. and the rest of the Revengers!  Thanks for hosting me today. 

It’s a delight to be here because I wanted to go postal on pirates.  And I’ve been thinking a lot about pirates lately, and uh, not the Jack Sparrow kind (although I do love Jack), but the tall, dark, and dangerous ones.  The pirates of the romance genre. 

I don’t know why pirates are a source of romantic fascination and fantasy, but from the early Vikings to the Caribbean pirates, from the Japanese pirate raids to the Barbary coast raids off North Africa, we’ve been fascinated by the daring deeds of these ferocious men. 

Names like Bluebeard and Captain Kidd, Jack Calico and Jean Lafitte, fill our cultural imaginations with mystique and mystery. 

But why? 

Likely these men, criminals and outcasts, were sour, smelly and sullen.  With broken teeth and without education.  With craftiness and wiles, but no finesse.

Still, there’s something wickedly delicious about them – in their sanitized versions, of course.  We’ve whitewashed their stories because … well, why else would they be interesting, appealing and downright fun?

While editing my latest book (“The Traitor,” the final book in the Bigler County Romantic Thrillers), I revisited this description of my hero Rafe:

All the while, she’d escaped in the swirling emeralds of his eyes slashed through with tiny black flecks like angry cuts. Sharp and probing, the eyes were a strange contrast to his coppery skin and short thick lashes. A wide scar bisected his left eyebrow and gave him the roguish look of a pirate. A rush of pheromones flooded her as his gaze wandered to her mouth and lingered there, then dipped to the cleavage that spilled from the juncture of her breasts.

Although “The Traitor” is a contemporary story, I subconsciously wrote that passage likening Rafe to a romance pirate.  Metaphorically, that is.  In the “real life” of the story, Rafe Hashemi is a DEA agent trying to bring down a drug cartel operating out of northern California. 

He’s in conflict with the heroine, Isabella Torres, who wants to prosecute the same villain, Diego Vargas, for human trafficking.  You can see this Vargas fellow is a nasty piece of work, intentionally irredeemable. 

However, his bodyguard and attorney of record – Gabriel Santos – is a much more complex character.  Take a look at this excerpt:

Gabriel Santos was not a man to cross.

His name among the Mexicans was El Diablo and although his given name reminded José of a holy angel, the street runners had forewarned him. Indeed, the persistent rumors of the man’s ferocity and the myth that he had made a pact with Satan seemed true. 

You see, I can get behind a man who may have made a pact with the devil (pirates, Vikings, and privateers).  There’s a dark appeal to such a character even if he is one of the villains in the story.  The implication is that he’s wicked and dangerous because life’s circumstances have given him no choice.  We’re almost ready to forgive this person, hero or villain.

The pirate “hero” or “villain” reminds us of the savage part of man, the part that lies beneath the surface, ready to erupt in passion or anger or punishment.  We don’t know which will spew out, but it’s sure to be exciting.

Here’s another excerpt of hero Rafe:

She opened her mouth to form a half-hearted protest.

“But,” he interrupted with a steely gaze, pointing a finger at her like a pistol, “you do have to be honest with me. I won’t put up with any bullshit tricks if I’m going to let you work this case with me.”

She began sputtering. “Wh – what, you’re letting me work the case? Diego Vargas has committed crimes in Bigler County. He’s been under our scrutiny there, in my county, for over a year. You have no more right than I to nab him for the depraved and accumulated atrocities – ”

“Shut up, Torres,” he said pleasantly, which effectively took the wind out of her sails.

She stared at him with her mouth a round oh of surprise while their server returned and Rafe gave the woman both their orders.

“The federal government has jurisdiction over anything interstate,” he reminded her after the server left. “You know that and I know that. Vargas’ atrocities include intra-state and international drug trafficking which comes under federal drug enforcement.”

He continued in a neutral, even-tenored voice as if his logic were reasonable and indisputable. “Now, in exchange for your personal files, I’ll continue to allow you to work the case rather than call your boss and have you jerked off it and sent back to Hicksville.

Bella felt the hot sting of outrage creep up her neck to stain her cheeks. Not only had he steamrolled her case, but he had the affront to order her lunch for her! She blinked furiously while trying to formulate a sharp enough response for both insults.

Rafe reached for a chip and dipped it in the thick salsa. “Actually, it’s a pretty good deal. You ought to take it.”

And another description of Santos:

With his long black hair tied at the neck, his lean hard form, and his dark scowl, Santos looked like un angel caído, a fallen angel.

But José knew the man was no angel.

I hope my readers will find Santos as compelling as Rafe because it’s the complex characters that stay with us long after we’ve put the book aside.  As a reader I’m attracted as much to the darkness as to the light, for in these gray shades lie the interesting and complicated facets of a person.

What about you?  Do you like your heroes squeaky clean or a little on the wild side, perhaps even a little damaged?  Want your villains to be clearly wicked or do you like the ones who are morally complex, ones you can understand, maybe even sympathize with?

I’m giving away a free download of “The Traitor” to one lucky commenter, so be sure to leave a comment.

Drink up ye scurvy pirate crew

Let no rum go to waste

Remember, Chance, our bartender

Will mix your drink to taste

So every wench gets what she wants

And we all stay shit-faced

O tidings of nookie and rum

Nookie and rum

O tidings of nookie and rum

Marn: Hal can’t really get shit-faced, so I’m going to have her share.

Bo’sun: Have at it, Marn. You’re doing it for the children.

Hal: Thanks, guys. Y’all are making me weepy.

In Port Royal and Tortuga

The streets are filled with cheer

Come join the fun and raise a glass

Careful, don’t spill your beer

It’s Christmas time, drink up the wine

Get drunk and flash your….arse

O tidings of nookie and rum

Nookie and rum

O tidings of nookie and rum

Sin: The last thing we need is to encourage arse flashing on this ship.

Bo’sun: That encouragement was for the Hotties.

Sin: Oh, I’m good then.

Hellie wants her Captain Jack

And Sin wants new ice picks

Hal just wants to GET IT OUT!

And Marn wants plotting tricks

DRD wants more Hotties

With great big thick wallets

O tidings of nookie and rum

Nookie and rum

O tidings of nookie and rum

Donna: How did you know?!

Bo’sun: You told me.

Donna: Oh yeah, I did. Fingers crossed!

Chance: What about me?!

Bo’sun: You got a contract, you’re done until 2012.

I hope you like my pirate tune

I wrote it just for you

There is one thing I’m wishing for

A whistle that is new

And if there’s room in Santa’s sack

Please bring Keith Urban too

O tidings of nookie and rum

Nookie and rum

O tidings of nookie and rum

Hellie: Nicole isn’t going to like that.

Bo’sun: She’s on location, she’ll never know.

Chance: I still can’t believe I don’t get anything.

Bo’sun: Suck it up, butterbean. I’ll buy you a drink in New York.

We have two extra pirates

We did not have before

One is an Assassin

A killer we adore

The other is a cute Scapegoat

We make do all the chores

O tidings of nookie and rum

Nookie and rum

O tidings of nookie and rum

The pirates on this vessel

Are bitchy and uncouth

They drink too much and sleep too much

And some are even loose

But even we can smile and say

Happy holidays to youtz

Oh, tidings of nookie and rum

Nookie and rum

Oh tidings of nookie and rummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Whole crew: HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

Other than Hal no longer being preggers and Chance and I never making it to New York, this seems to hold up. And so does the question. Tell us what one gift you’re expecting on Christmas morn. What did you ask for that someone had better get you if they want to live? And thanks for hanging with us for another year. Drinks all around!!!

Soldier. Spymaster. Husband.

Colonel Jasper Carlisle was defined by his work until he met his wife. When the prima ballerina swept into his life with her affection, bright laughter and graceful movements, he knew that she was the reason for his existence, and that their love would be forever.

But their world is shattered when Callie is kidnapped and brutally tortured by the foes Jasper has been hunting. Mechanical parts have replaced her legs, her hand, her eye…and possibly her heart. Though she survived, her anger at Jasper consumes her, while Jasper’s guilt drives him from the woman he loves. He longs for the chance to show her their love can withstand anything…including her new clockwork parts.

As the holiday season approaches, Jasper realizes he must fight not just for his wife’s love and forgiveness…but also her life, as his enemy once again attempts to tear them apart.

Bo’sun: Welcome back to the ship!

JK: Thanks, Terri! It’s always a treat to come on board!  

Bo’sun: You have a novella available today in the Carina anthology A Clockwork Christmas, and as usual with your stories, Far From Broken sounds intricate, intense, and incredibly high concept. Tell us about this story. 

JK: This is the story of a man and woman—a married couple—who have to find a way to overcome the most horrible event of their lives and find out whether they can come out of it together. It’s not an uncommon theme—forgiveness. Even though it might be told in a less common way, since the story takes place in a Steampunk inspired Victorian England.  

Bo’sun: No one can ever accuse you of making this easy on yourself. I can’t remember the last time I heard a concept this unique. What is it about Steampunk that draws you to write it? 

JK: I like the possibilities of Steampunk. I like that there are no limits, and that it’s about more than just window dressing for the characters. Since my first foray into writing it I’ve done a lot more research in the Steampunk movement (yes, it’s a movement), which is fascinating. I still don’t think I’ve mastered the true feel of what Steampunk is supposed to be, but I’m going to keep writing until I do!  

Bo’sun: Did this story come first or did you find out about the anthology opportunity and then sit down to create something from scratch? 

JK: I wrote the story specifically for the anthology, and I’m glad I did. The three other authors included in the anthology are so wonderful, I’m truly blessed for the chance to be part of this group and we’ve already formed a tight bond. The others are Stacy Gail (Crime Wave in a Corset), Jenny Schwartz (Wanted: One Scoundrel), and PG Forte (This Winter Heart). 

Bo’sun: Great company! You have a mechanical element in this story. What kind of research did you do in that area? 

JK: I’m lucky that my husband is a scientist and I was able to bounce my ideas off of him to see how believable they would be. I suppose there has to be a level of suspension of disbelief (or else it wouldn’t be Steampunk) but I really hope that no one will be disappointed with the scientific elements in the story.  

Bo’sun: From the blurb of this story, I can’t imagine how you kept it novella length. Did you have any trouble keeping it relatively short and were you ever tempted to stretch it to a full length book? 

JK: I could have kept writing about Callie and Jasper forever, but the strength of this book is that it’s nice and tight. In a novella every word counts and I think I made the most of that with this story. 

Now of course, having said that, I realized right away that this couldn’t be the end for my characters, and I’ve just finished their sequel, which I’m calling Broken Promises. Callie and Jasper are sent on a mission by the War Office to find a rogue agent, but along the way they discover a horrible truth that could tear their lives apart again. I sent it off to my editor this week and I’m really hoping that she’ll love it as much as I do.  

Bo’sun: You included Steampunk elements in your novella Iron Seduction (which is awesome!) Do you see more Steampunk in your future? 

JK: I do! As I mentioned, I’ve written a sequel to Far From Broken, and I’m hoping to continue this series for a couple more books. I also have a few other ideas that I’ll try to flesh out when the writing schedule clears up a little bit, but whoooeeee, it’s been busy! 

Bo’sun: Somehow I don’t see you slowing down anytime soon. LOL! Now some fun stuff. If you had to have a mechanical body part, what would you want that to be and why? 

JK: I think I’d want those mechanical eyes. “The better to see you with my pretty!” *cackle* I’d peer through everyone’s clothes and giggle when I see grown men wearing spiderman underwear. Wait a minute…that could seriously backfire. There are things I don’t want to see. Hmm, maybe I could have a tommy gun attachment on my mechanical arm. I could rob banks and go all Bonnie and Clyde on my sleepy home town! I’d make the papers and be famous! (and be dead, but maybe then my books would skyrocket in sales *g*.) 

Bo’sun: You’re one of the most prolific writers I know so I’m sure you have six or seven stories in the works. What’s next from JK COI? 

JK: eek. Prolific? Not sure about that, but I’ll be diving into edits for my YA Fantasy, Greta and the Goblin King soon, and I do have a few things just out in time for the holidays.  

My contemporary erotic romance, BRAZEN GAMES, is available from Ellora’s Cave right now. It’s what I call my “cops and mobsters” story. Jack is the right-hand man to mob boss Sam Moretti. His life is a dangerous place to be, forcing him to always watch his back and never let his guard down. But when it comes to the club’s new dancer, he’s tempted. Very tempted. Trouble is, temptation could very easily expose his secrets and get him—and her—killed. When Moretti confides his suspicions that he has a mole in his operation, he turns to Jack to take care of the problem. For good. Who does Sam suspect? The new dancer…Brazen.  

Also, the AGONY/ECSTASY anthology from Berkley Heat and edited by Jane Litte of Dear Author is available December 6! My story CAGED is a part of it, which is So. Darn. Exciting! It’s a painful love story where, in the dark, nothing and everything has changed. 

To celebrate release day, I’d love to offer a copy of FAR FROM BROKEN to a commenter and I’ll also send out a full set of romance trading cards for all of the novellas in the anthology.  

Thanks for having me back on the ship, pirates! It gives me warm fuzzies that I haven’t been banned yet. 

Hugs and rum!

JK Coi

www.jkcoi.com

Twitter: www.twitter.com/jkcoi

Facebook: www.facebook.com/JKCoiAuthor

Bo’sun: You heard her, pirates. Get to commenting! What do you enjoy about the Steampunk genre and what would you like to see more of?

I know not everyone on this ship Tweets, but I do. Twitter is the modern day news ticker. The London riots? Heard about them first on Twitter. The Occupy Wall Street stuff? Yep, Twitter again. It’s instant. Unfiltered. No delay. No waiting for some media outlet to shove the facts through their spin cycle and regurgitate their interpretation of events.

Twitter is NOW.

It’s also a direct connection to industry professionals as well as fellow writers, and downright entertaining. But what it’s been lately is a wakeup call.

This is the nugget of truth that hit me last week, thanks to Twitter. I’d say sit down before reading further but doubt this will come as a shock to anyone.

You ready? Here we go.

The only difference between every published writer and me (or anyone not yet published) is that the published writers write.

I know. Earth shattering, isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of published authors with more talent than I. But there are some published authors with less. Regardless, their perseverance and determination is what makes the difference.

No “I didn’t get around to writing this month.” No “I wanted to write but Idol was on.” Not even an “I had the laptop open but then I had to fold the clothes.” If you’re like me ,you’ve used all of these excuses and countless others.

On Twitter, writers push each other with sprints (#1k1hr), squeeze out one more page in that fifteen minutes before the kids get home, and often “go dark” when a deadline is looming. No matter what, they write.

I realize it’s a bit early for resolutions (and at the reading of that word you have all jumped overboard), but I’m going to make one. 2012 will be the year of no excuses. Will life attempt to get in our way? You betcha. Will we let it? Absolutely not!

But let’s be honest. Life isn’t what gets in our way. WE get in our way. In 2012 (or starting now, that’s even better) we get out of our own way and put words on the page. I don’t care what they are.

Need a smaller challenge with quicker results to get that feeling of accomplishment? Write a short story. Entangled Publishing is starting a short story line called FLIRT and open to submissions of 10K-15K words. I dusted off an old story and sent it in last week. Worst they can do is say no.

Tired of writing the same old stuff? Fine. Write a memoir. Or a cookbook. Hell, write a manifesto. Just write. We set only two goals. (I know, another nasty word, but hang with me.)

Make writing a habit and make sure it’s fun. Not easy, but fun. What say you?!

The idea for this song parody popped into my head a while ago and I finally got around to writing it. This is my version of a Romance readers battle cry. I think many will relate.

With inspiration from (and apologies to) Brad Paisley (click here for the original in case you don’t know the tune. What he says in the beginning pertains to Romance fans as well.) I give you…

THESE ARE ROMANCE NOVELS

You’re not supposed to say

The words ‘I love you’ in a book

And tellin’ folks that romance is the answer

Can make ‘em hide their Nook

It ain’t hip to write about kissing, fondling

Going down and hummers

Yeah that might be true

But these are romance novels and we do

Well if you like to read a good book

In the bathtub and have a little wine

Do you wanna ride a carriage across England

But can’t travel back in time?

Do you wish somebody had the nerve

To tell that stupid ex of yours

To shove it next time he calls for you

Well, these are romance novels, and we do

So turn the page, read along, and ignore the looks

This is real, this is your life, in a book

We promise you’ll be hooked

Yeah these are romance novels

Are you tired of the echo of the haters

Saying sex is bad

Scoffing at the hero on the cover

With six-pack abs

Well if there’s anyone who still

Believes In love and hope and longs for Happy

Endings where two hearts can be true

These are romance novels, and we do

So turn the page, read along, and ignore the looks

This is real, this is your life, in a book

We promise you’ll be hooked

Yeah these are romance novels

(These are romance novels)

Ain’t She Sweet

(These are romance novels)

Lord of Scoundrels

(These are romance novels)

Welcome To Temptation

(These are romance novels)

Ashes In The Wind

(These are romance novels)

Stand by Your Hitman

(These are romance novels)

The Kraken’s Mirror

(These are romance novels)

Everybody now…add your own verse.

I picked TWO winners, because I can. First up, the winner of NO MERCY by Sherrilyn Kenyon is…

Na!!!

And the bonus prize of the nifty Sherrilyn Kenyon tote on the right is…

Cates!

Congratulations to you both! Please drop me an email with your mailing address to DJTLO at YAHOO dot COM. (Translate that into email-speak, of course.) I’ll get those prizes out before the weekend!

Thanks everyone for playing along. I second the suggestion to have more MadLib Mondays. At least once a month!