I jumped ship this weekend to meet with a VIP Hottie applicant.  This guy has the reputation to back up the application, but I have to make sure all our crew members measure up in all areas.  I know, my job is sooooooooooo tough.

This applicant already runs with his own small band of outlaws.  You might have heard of them – Maroon 5.  Not as catchy as The Revenge, but not everyone can be as brilliant as we are.  The first thing I realized about this guy is that he’s kind of a little guy.  Someone I would typically think of as scrawny and therefore, not worth bothering with.  But this one is the exception to the rule.  Simply put, he’s got that *something* I can’t resist.  The fact is, this guy is sex incarnate.  He smiles, and your heart goes pitter patter.  He gives that “I’ve been up to something naughty” look and your panties melt.

In case you’ve been living under a rock (or your name is Dee) and haven’t figured out who our newest Hottie is, his name is Adam and he takes bad boy to a whole new level.

This week is going to be uber-exciting here on the seas.  I’ll be talking pre-conference prep tomorrow and I’m also including some great links for all those not going to the big shindig this week.  No reason you can’t have a conference experience from the comfort of your own home.  Then Friday, Santa and I and anyone else we can coerce into helping will be blogging from the RWA National Conference in San Francisco.  I’m sure we’ll be thoroughly soaked in rum by the time Friday comes around so it should be quite entertaining for all. Plus, we’ll have the usual brilliance from the Captain, something soul wrenching from Sin and pure inspiration from the sunshine of the crew, Gunner Marnee.

But the big story this week is how HUGE August is around here with guest bloggers.  We kick the festivities off August 12 with New York Times Bestselling author, Teresa Medeiros.  Believe it or not, Teresa agreed to one of our infamous captain’s interviews and much fun was had by all.  We’ll be talking about Teresa’s latest release, Some Like It Wicked, and anything else we can get out of this powerhouse author.

Later in the month we have Angie Fox (August 19) talking about her debut novel, The Accidental Demon Slayer, in which a pre-school teacher comes to terms with being a demon slayer. Hence the title.  Angie will also be talking about breaking into this game and what it’s like when you start riding the publishing waves. 

Leslie Langtry hops aboard Tuesday, August 26, and brings her always entertaining family of assassins with her.  Leslie’s latest book, called Stand By Your Hitman, hits stores this month so be sure to pick it up and join in the fun. 

Last but never least, we have the incomparable Candace Camp joining us Friday, August 29, to talk about the latest in her Matchmakers series, The Wedding Challenge.  Talking Historicals, series, heroes and heroines, you won’t want to miss this exciting excursion.

Now, I highly suggest you go google the Maroon 5 concert schedule and get your tickets today. 

In case you haven’t heard, and that is highly unlikely if you spend any time at all on this ship, I’m heading off to San Francisco next week for the annual RWA National Conference.  I’ve attended a smaller conference in New Jersey, but never the Nationals.  I’ve also never been anywhere near the west coast.  To say I’m excited is like saying Nora is kind of successful.

Though I’m a plotser (or plantser or whatever we’re calling the plotter/pantser combo this week) in my writing life, in real life I pants it all the way.  I rarely plan ahead, take everything as it comes, and never, absolutely NEVER, make lists.  Until now.

Last week on the Romance Bandits blog, Blaze author Tawny Weber covered the topic of getting organized and prepared for the conference.  She ever suggested making a schedule spreadsheet complete with color coding. Her timing was perfect as I’d just had a dream – make that a nightmare – the weekend before that I had arrived in San Fran without any of the things I needed.  Say what you will, but the Universe was telling me to get my arse in gear and get prepared.

First thing I did – make a list.  This is SOOOOO unlike me it’s scary.  I hate lists.  I have a friend who makes lists about making lists.  It’s a constant battle not to choke her when she tries to push these lists on me.  So the fact I succumbed to this task says a great deal about my anxiety.

I learned several things from the list.  One, for the amount of bathroom items required by me daily, I should be much better looking.  Seriously, the bathroom stuff took one side of the page.  And I kept adding to it.  But almost all of these items are packed (travel size items are my friend!) and marked off the list.

Another thing I learned is that shoes are not a big deal to me.  I’m taking my tennis shoes (wearing them on the plane actually) and the heels I’ll wear to get all prettied up for the awards ceremony.  Not another pair made it on the list.  With my bad knees, everyone will just have to deal with me in tennis shoes.  Otherwise, the pain will drive me to tears.  And for the record, I’m not pitching so no worries on me going in to impress an editor or agent in tennis shoes.

The final lesson was that one list leads to more lists.  I now have the list of things I still need to buy, the list of items I will wear that day, and the list of items I need to do prior to leaving.  It’s like a disease that keeps spreading.  Though I admit, for a person with my memory issues, I should probably embrace list making more often.

What about you?  Do you make lists before a big trip?  Do you make lists for everyday things?  Or does making a list send you over the edge?  Could you make it through a four day conference with only two pairs of shoes, or would you need a separate suitcase for foot gear alone?  If you’re going to Nationals, what’s on your list that I might have forgotten to add to mine?

PS: Tune in next week when I talk about creating spreadsheet schedules and picking the right workshops.

*entire crew breaks into song*

We’re holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight

That’s right folks, it’s time we add a hero to this crew.  And I know just the guy.  I have it on good authority he’s going to need to lay low for a while.  So when I offered him a spot on the ship, he ditched that old cave without a second thought.  I give you, your Dark Knight.

This guy has everything we need.  Chiseled good looks that make a piratess want to give up her rum for one glance at the goods.  Then there’s the gadgets.  And the money.  Mustn’t forget the money.  Pirates are all about the treasure, you know.

I agree, with that full rubber suit, he takes *protection* a little far.  But I’ve seen some of the stuff that takes place in the corners of this ship, so to be honest, I can’t say I blame him.  Overall he’s a perfect fit for this crew.  He goes his own way, makes his own rules, and comes with his own First Mate.  Well, he calls him a butler but still, it’s really the same thing.

Today marks the countdown – TEN DAYS TO RWA NATIONALS!  Tune in tomorrow when we talk about packing, preparing and panicking.  Even if you’re not going to Nationals this year, stop by to be entertained by my insanity.

Now, anybody else go see The Dark Knight this weekend?  What did you think?  Did it live up to the hype?  And did The Joker creep you out as much as he did me?

I’m standing behind a podium at the front of a room with my heart beating double time.  Tables arranged in a U-shaped pattern fill the small room.  Sitting at those tables are writers.  Writers staring at me expectantly waiting for me to tell them something they don’t already know.  The three page handout in front of me starts to blur and a sheen of sweat breaks out across my forehead.

You’re probably thinking I’m describing one of my worst nightmares.  But no.  I’m describing my Saturday afternoon. 

This is what happens when you attend a writing conference, take a bunch of kick-ass workshops, then float into your next chapter meeting on that conference high.  I still have no idea what possessed me to volunteer back in the fall, but this weekend I gave my first workshop ever.

I wouldn’t say I got off to a flying start.  And as my chapter is filled with talented writers who have many titles under their belts, it’s no surprise they looked at this still-aspiring-as-yet-unpublished author with a bit of skepticism. 

But then I decided to get them involved.  My workshop was called “Digging Deep With Your Characters” and my goal was to get them to look deeper into their characters my asking questions you might not usually think about.  I asked an off the wall, detailed question regarding characters and gave them a minute or two to write an answer.  Then I made them share those answers. 

That’s when one established author said this little exercise gave her an idea for her current WIP.  And again later in the workshop she got another idea.  By some miracle, I had helped someone.  Believe me, I’m as amazed as you are.

Now it’s time to get you involved.  One of your characters, hero or heroine, has an old shoebox under their bed.  What’s in that shoebox and why is it under the bed?  What would be the consequences to your character if that box is discovered.  Why?

PS:  Nine years ago today I was in the hospital giving birth to a beautiful baby girl.  Happy Birthday to Isabelle.  She is my life and my light. 

Tomorrow is July 14^th and that means it’s Bastille Day here on the ship.  I’m sure you thought we were only American pirates, but no.  We are International Pirates and with one of the greatest pirates to ever sail the seas being French, we must honor this day.  In case you haven’t figured it out, that’s Jean Lafitte.  His true origins are sketchy but the name sounds French and we’re going with it.

Anyvous, Bastille Day celebrates the raiding of Bastille prison by Parisian peasants on July 14, 1789. This is basically the French version of our 4^th of July.  And it also happens to be my daughter Isabelle’s birthday.  See, she even has a French name in celebration.  (Happy Birthday, Isabelle.  And you better not be reading this blog!) 

In order to celebrate the day, I thought we should add a Hottie Frenchman to the crew.  And so I went searching.  It’s actually more difficult to find a French Hottie than you’d think.  At least from this side of the water.  But in my *cough*hour*cough* of scoping out pictures of potential candidates, I came across the French Rugby Team.  Turns out they do a Hottie award winning calendar every year called Gods of the Stadium.  Does this look good or what?

I even found video of the making of the calendar.  More than one.  Audition tapes if you will.  I had to check them out, you know, in the name of research.  Gosh, this is such a tough job. *bigevilgrin*

This Tuesday, July 15, we are excited to welcome Megan Kelly to talk about her new Harlequin American Romance, The Fake Fiancee. This story is for all the moms out there who give all to their families. The hero is trying to avoid his matchmaking mama by bringing home a fake fiancee; and the heroine agrees to pose as his soon-to-be wife in order to earn money to get her son into a special program. If you like your stories sweeter, your characters more real–Megan is the author you need to add to your list of must-haves. Plus Megan and Hellion used to be in the same local writing chapter–total “dish the dirt” potential!

So join us this Tuesday with Guest Pirate, Megan Kelly and try not to hurt yourself today Googling the French Rugby Team.  I highly recommend finding those videos.  They are completely in French so I have no idea what they are saying, but that really doesn’t matter anyway.

*dun dun dun dun dadun dun dun dun dun dadun*

Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to write a Romance novel.  Don’t be fooled by how simple this sounds.  There will be many who work against you.  Your greatest enemy is the evil I.E.  She’s sly, unpredictable, and as mean as they come.  She’ll throw up road blocks, make you doubt your skills, and leave you crying in your rum if you let her.

Then there’s I.E.’s second in command, the Regulator.  Don’t let the taped glasses and scrawny frame fool you.  The Regulator is the keeper of *the rules*.  He’ll tell you over and over these supposed rules cannot be broken.  You must stay strong and keep writing.  Rules were made to be broken.  Break them and move on.

Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security once you’ve silenced the Regulator.  Because the next villain is always waiting around the corner.  The dreaded Big Chill.  The Big Chill wants everything cold.  No sexual tension.  No sizzle.  No sex.  Whatever you do, don’t let the Big Chill win.  Close the door on the sex if you must, but don’t lose the sizzle or the mission is over.

This mission requires all of your covert skills.  You must get inside your character’s minds.  Know what they think, how they feel, and most of all their greatest fears.  You must test them, torture them, tempt them to touch the fire.  You must raise the stakes.  Throw obstacles in their way and make them choose between fear and love. 

Yes, you see now why this is your greatest and most difficult mission.  Love is the prize.  The most desired and illusive treasure in the world.  It’s fickle yet steadfast.  Fragile yet resilient.  Free yet always comes with a price. 

Now, do you accept this mission?  If you do, how do you plan to defeat these evil villains.  And once these villains have been slain, will you be ready to face the next wave of terror – the Editor, the Publisher, and the Reviewer?

Let me start off by introducing myself.  This is NOT Bo’sun Terrio.  This is Bo’sun Terrio’s muse.  It seems the lure of 4^th of July sales has left the Bo’sun too busy to be bothered with this blog.  The damn woman is out dropping dollars like she drops modifiers.  It’s not pretty.

Luckily, she left me with the Hottie Casting couch and I do believe I found the perfect candidate for this holiday weekend.  You can’t celebrate Independence Day without a flag.  Of course not.  I’ve dubbed this one Patriot Buns.

Now I know what you’re thinking.  “What flag?!”  If you keep looking, you’re bound to notice it eventually.  Not that I have to tell you to keep looking.  Hey, are you still reading?  I’m down here?  The words, damn it!  Look at the words!

Anyway, we have a great Guest Blogger line up for the rest of the summer.  Mark these dates on your calendar.

July 11 – Erotica author Dee S. Knight brings out her sister, Anne Krist (it’s really Dee but don’t tell anybody) to talk about her latest sweet release Burning Bridges.

July 15 – Contemporary Harlequin Romance author Megan Kelly hops aboard to talk about her latest Harlequin release The Fake Fiance.  With a title like that, how could you NOT be intrigued?

August 12 - Teresa Medeiros (yes, THE Teresa Medeiros) joins the crew for a day to talk about her much anticipated summer release, Some Like It Wicked.  Which Bo’sun just happened to win an ARC of on the Eloisa James/Julia Quinn Bulletin Board Auction.  Huzzah!

August 19 – We hop over to the Paranormal realm when Angie Fox drops by bringing danger, demons and…a biker grandma?  Join us to talk about The Accidental Demon Slayer and be prepared to laugh your eye patch off.

August 26 – Everybody bring your Kevlar and your Girl Scout Cookie money for an all day party with Leslie Langtry.  We’ll be talking about the next release in her Bombay Family series, Stand By Your Hitman.  And since she and the Captain are identical twins separated at birth, I’m sure we’ll veer onto many other topics, all hysterical.

August 29 – We scored a major GET (as the network talk shows would call it) on this one.  The wonderful and talented Candace Camp will be visiting to dish on the latest release in her Matchmakers series, The Wedding Challenge. Personally, I think she gets kudos right away for writing a Historical WITHOUT the word “Duke” in the title.  Just sayin’…

More big names on the calendar after Labor Day including Christie Craig & Faye Hughes, Mindy Klasky and Loucinda McGary.  Plus, we’re always looking to add more fantastic guest pirates to the ranks. Check back often for more Guest Blogger updates.

Now, feel free to go stare at the flag a little longer. 

And I mean that literally.  Sort of.

This weekend my local RWA chapter held our yearly writer’s retreat.  About twenty of us spend the weekend at a secluded resort type place where we hold workshops and bond in our writing insanity.  When we’re not talking craft or bonding, we’re writing. 

On the first day we all set writing goals for the weekend.  It can be anything from writing one sentence to writing one hundred pages.  Because I was psyched and ready to go, I set the goal of twenty-five pages.  *waits for everyone to stop laughing then continues*

I’ve been stuck on the same scene for a couple of weeks now.  It’s actually a pivotal part of my story where my hero and heroine, who have each vowed to avoid the other, realize they must work together.  If I blow this scene, I could lose my readers completely and my story is dead in the water.  No pressure, right?

My first attempt came from the heroine’s POV.  Four pages in I realized it wasn’t working.  *delete delete delete*  My second attempt came from the hero’s POV, but three pages in it wasn’t working either.  *delete delete delete*  At this point I was sitting at negative two pages for the weekend.  Now you get where the retreat part comes in.  I took it a little too literally.

The common denominator in both of these attempts was the fact it started with the heroine being late for work.  So when I started my third attempt, I took this aspect out and the scene practically wrote itself.  Turns out, my heroine flat out refused to be late for work.  If she had just told me this weeks ago, it could have saved both of us a lot of stress.

All in all, I had a great weekend.  We laughed our butts off (sadly mine grew back), we cried out our frustrations, and we challenged ourselves to keep going.  Writing is a solitary pursuit.  But thanks to the internet and writing organizations like the Romance Writers of America, we can be solitary together. 

If you’re a writer, do you belong to your local chapter or an online chapter?  If you’re a reader, have you found a book club in your area where you can share your love for a good story?  Maybe it’s quilting or scrapbooking. Tell us about your group and if you don’t have one, what kind of group would you like to find?

Today’s Hottie additions were inspired by this week’s guest blogger.  Kimberly Killion will be with us Tuesday to celebrate the release of her debut novel, Her One Desire, the story of an executioner’s daughter and a Scottish Lord on the run together in 1483 England.  What does this mean for you?  It means I’m going medieval on your….arse.

First let me say, I know 1483 isn’t exactly medieval, but I’m going with it anyway.  This is about Hotties, not historical accuracy.  Now you know why I write Contemporaries.  Anyway, on with the hotness.

I decided we don’t have enough knights on this crew.  And you can never have just ONE knight.  How are you going to form a Templar with only one knight?  So I found a few to fill out the ranks. 

We start with the Knight we’d most love to cuddle up next to.  Or twirl around on the dance floor with while Queen plays over by the fire.  Next we move onto his enemy.  This Knight may be smug and conniving, but he’s still pretty to look at.  If we keep these two separated I think they’ll be fine.

Our next Hottie deserved two shots.  And I’m pretty sure he’s going to feel right at home on a pirate ship.   You have to admit, the size of his sword is pretty dang impressive.

Since the hero of Her One Desire is a Scottish Lord, I decided to round out today’s Hotties with a little kilt action.  Now THAT’S an impressive sword.

Just in case you haven’t figured it out yet, Kimberly Killion will be joining us this Tuesday, July 1^st, for an in depth interview with our very own Captain Hellion.  Sassy, sexy, and toting a Scottish Hottie, you won’t want to miss this one.

This weekend I’m attending a writer’s retreat with my local RWA chapter.  For fun, it was suggested that we try to write an 850 word piece in a genre in which we would never write.  That meant I could write Inspirational or Paranormal.  I chose Paranormal.

First I have to say I have nothing against Paranormal.  It’s a huge seller right now and offers lots of great stuff for readers.  But my practical streak together with my lack of ability to suspend disbelief has always made it difficult for me to enjoy it.  Which is why I was so surprised to find myself enjoying the writing.

It turns out, when you create your own world and you put it in the Paranormal realm, you can do anything you want.  Who knew?!  It’s like when you become a parent and finally get to use the answer, “Because I said so.”  It’s so cool.  I created demons that can blend in with humans, but unlike humans don’t need food, water or sleep.  And if someone asks why, I can say, “Because I said so.”  I am LOVING this. 

So, bad guys are done.  Now I needed an Alpha hero (something I’ve never done), a kick ass heroine (something I’ve never done), and darkness (something I’ve never done).  No problem.  My hero was inspired by a Breaking Benjamin song called Evil Angel.  Here’s his description.

Eyes the deep blue of lapis lazuli stared into my soul.  Hair the color of blackest night fell in waves around his shoulders and made the fairness of his skin and the luster of his eyes all the more pronounced for it’s darkness.  He wasn’t the largest man I’d ever seen, but he had to be close.  Power poured off him like radiation, and a voice in the back of my mind warned he was likely twice as deadly.

The story is written in first person from the heroine’s POV which limited much description of her, but we do learn she works on the Termination Team, a group that battles the demons, and she does get to kick one of the bad guys in the nuts.  Other than putting her in leather, that’s as kick ass as I managed to make her.  But if there were more words, she’d kick lots more ass.

Now I needed darkness.  That was going to be the tough part.  You see, my voice calls for sarcasm and humor.  Unless I make a concerted effort, sarcastic lines show up in my stuff with little or no effort on my part.  After much struggle and at least one rewrite, here’s the opening that sets the scene.

Evil permeated the air.  It lingered around the dumpsters, lurked in the shadows, and oozed in the scattered pools of water like an oil slick.  A bulb at the end of the alley flickered dimly every few seconds, providing little light to battle back the dark.  The sliver of moon over head provided no light at all.

This may never grow into any more than 850 words, but doing this exercise has taught me several things.  The most important being that I can write in a genre that I never believed I could.  And enjoy doing it.  Again, who knew?

If you’re a writer, is there a genre in which you truly don’t believe you could write?  If so, what genre would that be and why?  If you’re a reader, is there a genre you’ve never tried because you don’t think it’s your thing?  If so, what is that genre and what would make you change your mind and give it a try?