*in the early morning light, where the Romance Writer’s Revenge is anchored at port in Vermont, which is truly magical since Vermont is not a state with a coastline, and the deck is suspiciously quiet. Perhaps the crew of the RWR are sleeping in preparation for their guest Miranda Neville, who will be dropping by the ship to discuss her new book, The Wild Marquis*

Miranda: *peeking over the railing* Hello? *climbing over the edge and finally standing on deck* Whew! I wasn’t sure about that rope climbing thing. I mean, even with the knots tied at intervals, it’s still pretty….

Jack: Miranda! My sweet, my luv, my precious, my pet. I’m so glad to see you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come get you personally, but I was busy getting the ship ready for your arrival.

Miranda: *breathless, patting down her hair* Really? The crew is ready for me?

Jack: *laughing* Oh, no, I sent them to shore. Amazing what free pints of Ben & Jerry Ice Cream coupons will do for a bunch of chocolate-loving tarts like them. I mean, I could barely get the ship pulled into port before they were diving off the sides and swimming for land. I think they’ll be stockpiling.

Miranda: But…what about my interview?

Jack: Oh, we’re still doing your interview, luv. *guiding her with one hand at her lower back* Come with me where I can now assure you no interruption as you tell me more about your delightful novel. *kissing up her arm* The Wild Marquis, is it?

Miranda:  The setting is Regency England, my favorite place, and it’s a tale rife with sex, violence, and deep, dark secrets involving ruthless rare book collectors.

Jack: The story does sound very promising. Especially the rife with sex part. The hero himself sounds very much like yours truly. What did the blurb say? “He is notorious for his wretched morals and never received in respectable houses. The ladies of the ton would never allow him in their drawing rooms . . . though some of them have welcomed him into their bedchambers.” I mean, that sounds like a page out of one of my journals! Tell me more about this Marquis. I like to know about my competition.

Miranda: Cain, the Marquis of Chase loves women. Not just for you-know-what. He really likes them as people. He was just a lad when his father kicked him out of the house and he was rescued from a robbery by some charming prostitutes. Since then all his best friends are women and he makes a point of protecting them and treating them well, not just you-know-where. This makes him unlike a lot of the befuddled hunks who inhabit so many romances (not that I don’t love a befuddled hunk too). Cain rarely misunderstands women but, perhaps because he knows them too well, he has never fallen in love.

Jack: You know, it takes a special sort of woman to appreciate men like the Marquis and me. Someone daring, someone yearning to be a bit wicked herself, someone…devastatingly beautiful. Who is this girl, and did you bring her with you? I know she’s met this Chase fellow, but do I have a shot at her at all?

Miranda: Juliana Merton is a very serious girl and I’m afraid she might not appreciate your … unusual … approach to life. Her husband was murdered and she’s having a hard time making ends meet in her rare book shop. Turns out most men don’t think women know anything. But when Cain needs an expert to help him buy back a family heirloom, he’s thrilled to find a woman with the right knowledge. Plus she’s cute as a button and Cain’s not good at depriving himself—and the women in question—of a good time. Juliana doesn’t think much of Cain at first but she needs him as a client. Then he starts to make her laugh. (Hmm. On second thought, Jack, perhaps you’d better stay away from her. She might fancy you.) Specters from both their pasts emerge and Juliana is in danger. Next thing the two of them are charging around England in a carriage, and you know what happens when you put a hero and heroine in a carriage together ….

Jack: Fine, fine. The next girl then. You definitely have to introduce me to the next girl. What’s up next for you? Any winsome wenches on the horizon for me?

Miranda: I think you’ll like Diana, the heroine of my next book. She’s quite a saucy minx. On the other hand she wants to marry a duke. The book is called The Dangerous Viscount, a hint about how that plan goes. You’ll have to invite me back in October if you want to meet her.

Jack: Where are my manners? Have a seat, my dear, and a spot of rum. *goes to pour rum but his bottle is empty* Chance has it here somewhere. *returns with two new bottles* Here you go. Go ahead, perch yourself in Hellion’s hammock. She won’t mind. So what is the daily life like for a glamorous romance novelist like yourself?

Miranda:  *holds out glass* Thank you, I will. Or just give me the whole bottle. Just to keep you all guessing, I’m going to make the account of my day multiple choice.

I start the day with (a) a little champagne (b) a lot of coffee (c) a hangover.

I step into my (a) rose-scented bath tub (b) dust-infested office (c) dungeon

where I (a) receive a massage from a Swedish movie star (b) check my email (c) am tortured by publishing professionals wanting to know where my book is.

Dressed in (a) a chic little number I picked up in Milan (b) my bathrobe (c) armor, I (a) compose ten pages by noon (b) stare at the screen for an hour then eat half a jar of peanut butter and a candy bar (c) have a nervous breakdown. Then I (a) plan my next research trip to exotic locales (b) go to my day job (c) drink heavily. It a (a) hard (b) hard (c) hard life being a romance novelist, but there are compensations, like meeting delicious pirates with a steady hand for eyeliner application.

Jack: Well, I do enjoy being a perk. (That is what Hellion called me the other night…or did the word start with j?) All right. Last question—but definitely the most important—do you think you’ll write a few pirate romances in the future? Because I can help you in the most indelible ways in researching for those stories. The way a pirate thinks. The kind of eye liner he wears. The sort of place he prefers to seduce his winsome wench. We can start researching now if you prefer….

Miranda: You know, Jack, I don’t know anything about ships, but if you could give me a few pointers I might be persuaded to put someone like you in my next book. Especially if you give me eyeliner lessons. But before you do that– *watching Jack kiss up her arm* –let me wrap up here.

I have the most chaotic work habits and it’s a miracle my books get written. I’m still not entirely sure how it happens. I’m always madly impressed by writers who sit down at the same time each day and produce a quota of pages. Are you like that? Or do you type THE END and wonder where the heck all those words came from? (Oh, and did I mention I am giving away a copy of The Wild Marquis to one lucky commenter?)

Hells and I met up for our monthly writing meeting the second Saturday of the month like usual. Goals had been set (and almost met!), agendas planned, food made and topics ready; and I brought a guest. None other than the GPS. Through the years, the GPS and I have been the closest of friends and the fiercest of allies, yet both of us struggle to portray that type of character on paper. Hells was gracious enough to allow the GPS aboard again to bring you the topic of friends and what you would and wouldn’t do for them.

***

The Grand Pixy Sita here again bringing you the latest news from Booty magazine. I’ve got the hottest scoop on the new rage, Vajazzling. Some of you may remember the bedazzler. If you owned or operated a bedazzler, you will be more familiar with this new fad. If you’re not, maybe you can remember the phase where everyone was covering things with rhinestones. It was all about the bling; cell phones, cameras, PDAs, etc. Well, this fad is the beautiful and sparkling combination of both.

The world of the vajayjay has never looked brighter. I am headed out to investigate this brave new world and see what kind of people are really into this new taboo. Are there shops like body piercing? Is this a strictly DIY project? Is it a closet, I’m only going to trust my best friend, project?

It didn’t take much research to determine this was a DIY project. DIY with a close personal friend. (Though the tattoo artist seemed game, I didn’t feel I could trust him. Call me paranoid.) So I decided to ask my friends. They’re game, right? They’d take a bullet for me. What’s a little hot box blinging amongst friends?

As luck would have it, I happened to be flying past the RWR and was able to drop by and see my good friends Hells and Sin. A couple bottles of rum, and I’d have more material than I would ever need for my article. Jazzling Amongst Friends—I could see the title now. While I hoped they would have some insight for my article, I secretly hoped one of them had been in the closet and now had a sparkling hooha they were willing to show off like a sequined purse.

“So, Sin, have you heard of Vajazzling?”

“Have you been drinking and flying again?”

“You know, Sin,” Hells piped up, “We were blogging about it last week. In the comments. You know… the sparkles… down… well… there… you know… it.”

“So, Hells, you know about it, eh?  Have you secretly had it upgraded lately?” I was simply drooling in anticipation. A break in the story! Pixy dust was flying everywhere as my sweet little wings were buzzing in the air.

“NO. Are you kidding Sita? Why on earth would I have that done? Can you imagine the conversation of explaining where I’d want the rhinestones put? Apparently I’m the only person on this ship who refers to my special place as an it. No, thank you.”

Who knew the Captain was such a sharer?

“Well… if you ever wanted to really make your special place special—“ how I kept from laughing I don’t know—“I just so happen to have some adhesive and some beautiful blue jewels. We could have fun.”

Hells gave me a Look. “So I could have a matching blue box to go with my boyfriend’s blue….”

Sin leapt into the fray, clearly concerned for my safety. Hells was looking like someone who’d pull the wings off flies, let alone mouthy pixies. “Hells, I told you Sita would do it if you asked. She is such a freak like that.” Okay, maybe she didn’t love me that much. She had a hateful smile on her face.

Still, if she was reckless enough to step in front of the Captain, she’d surely be up for a little harmless redecorating. What was this really but a sparkly version of a bikini wax? If you could have a bikini wax done without blinking an eye, what was the big deal about gluing on crystals?

“You know, Sin, I’m not always that predictable. I’m actually trying to get out of the smut business and work for a real publication like the Treasure Chest. Unfortunately I’m having some trouble with my real investigative writing. Apparently my editors and my agent feel like I’m only suited to be the star reporter for Booty magazine. It’s not like I’ve done anything that wild. It’s not like I’ve uploaded my own video to Argtube or anything. No one has any official record of me doing anything raunchy to me or anyone else. Especially not that hot little thing I was stalking a while back. Come on, you guys have to help me. I really need a story—a human interest story about the power of friendships—to break my way in… Right after we vajazzle Hells.” I batted my eyelashes. “You know, for the sake of friendship.”

Sin and I both had a devilish look on our faces, but Hells merely drew her sword and gave the Look again. “Don’t even think about it. We’re not that good of friends.” Then she left. Poor crabby Captain. She could use some bling for her box. Then she could stop calling it an it.

“You know, Sita, if you come anywhere near me with those jewels of yours, I’ll kill you.”

“Don’t worry, Sin, we aren’t that good of friends.”

So my fellow pirates, help a fellow Pixie out: how do you write believable friendships? The kind of friendships that last and are true, the kind where you’d walk through hell and back, or in this case, let someone vajazzle you?

“Galley Ho here. Reporting to you from the ship’s galley where I am preparing a special dinner for a very special guest. I’m sooo excited that Santa O’Byrne, NYT bestselling author, has agreed to have dinner with me here in the galley. “

“I’ve prepared a mouth watering pork roast seasoned with grated parmesan reggiano cheese, crushed garlic and parsley, along with rosemary roasted new potatoes and tender  baby  asparagus grilled to perfection and drizzled with 45 year old balsamic vinegar and first pressed olive oil.”

“What? No, this is a special menu just for Ms. O’Byrne! She’s a gourmand, don’t ya know, and a certified olive oil specialist. She’s even got the pin to prove it. So you know it’s not your ordinary fare for her. Nope, it’s Tuesday so crew’ll be getting breakfast for dinner. Hard tack and powered eggs.  Yum!

“Hellooo! Anyone down below?”

“Oh, my goodness! She’s here. She’s here. Squeeee!! Forgive me my fangirl moment but I’ve read all her books and this is the first time I’ve ever gotten a chance to meet her and…and….”

“Permission to come aboard. Oh, silly me! I’m already aboard, aren’t I?”, Santa O’Byrne (did I mention she was a NYT bestselling author)glides down the narrow stairs into the galley. Her face sparkles like Swarovski crystals in the moonlight. Or maybe it’s just the reflection her crystal encrusted jacket throws off. She is glamorous, poised and sophisticated. Everything you’d expect –did I mention the Times-a best selling author to be.

“Ms. O’Byrne, darling. Please come down. Make yourself at home. Dinner is almost ready.”

“Dinner? I thought I’d be handed a cocktail. Terri Osbourn, we’re pals, got a Frozen Nipple out of the deal yesterday! My assistant said the least I should expect to get was Sex On The Beach. Believe me, I could use some Sex On The Beach.”

“Of course you can have Sex On The Beach. I’ve sent Armitage up to get you some.”

“Thank you, darling. I’m absolutely exhausted. I just got back from the Amalfi Coast in Italy. Research, don’t you know. It was exhausting driving up and down that coastline with nothing to see but pastel colored terracotta homes nestled in the hills facing clear azure waters.”

“Research for your next novel, I hope”  I can’t help the edge of jealousy that taints my voice, “What part does the Amalfi Coast play in your next book?”

“Well, as you know, I have written a series revolving around three female chefs and the men they fall in love with. This, my third and final installation in the series, features Megan a New York City party planner who’s business has gone bust and she has no choice but to accept a position as private chef to an eccentric couple who live on an estate in Minori on the Amalfi Coast.  Feeling liberated for the first time in years, she meets and falls in love with Nico a darkly handsome caretaker on the estate. Her happiness is short lived when Nico betrays her in the basest way possible. All her illusions shattered, Megan loses herself in her cooking, creating masterpiece after masterpiece…for no one until Steve comes to Italy on business. Steve is someone she sparred with in my first novel. They begrudgingly became allies to bring Melissa and Jake back together but not without wanting to tear at each other’s throats.  Steve’s just broken off with his fifth fiancée in two years. Val, his best friend from college, basking in his own HEA with Nola, suggests he get away for a while and he unwittingly ends up at the estate of his great-Aunt and Uncle where Megan is cooking up a storm. In the beginning, they fall right into their safe pattern of jibes and jabs.

But Italy-Italy changes all that. In Italy, they let go of their inhibitions. Their bravado. Their one up manship. In Italy, they learn what true love can be.”

I can’t help but sigh.

“Well, look at me going on and on about my book when all this lovely food is getting cold. It looks and smells divine. Oh, and lest I forget, I’ve got some Sex On The Beach waiting for me.”

So tell me, darlings, where do you think true love is found? On the sun kissed hillsides of Italy? A quaint upstate New York town? New York’s ever changing culinary palate? Or right at home in your own backyards – where ever they may be?

Today we have Harlequin and Signet author, JESSICA ANDERSEN, author of the Novels of the Final Prophecies visiting the ship.  This paranormal series about the Doomsday prophecies has lots of plot twists, some amazingly hot characters, and all the emotional angst a reader could want.  Her latest, SKYKEEPERS, is out in stores now.  

I’ve already read SKYKEEPERS and I officially think it’s my favorite so far.  Michael is deliciously tortured; Sasha, sassy and strong.  And their sexual tension?  To die for.  If you’ve read Ms. Andersen’s work before, you’re in for a real treat with this one.  Don’t miss it!

Take it away, Doc Jess!

**********************

Hello, and thanks to Marnee for inviting me to visit and talk about SKYKEEPERS: A NOVEL OF THE FINAL PROPHECY!  

One randomly selected commenter will win a signed copy of NIGHTKEEPERS or DAWNKEEPERS, which are the first two books in this sexy series of paranormal thrillers. And, of course, SKYKEEPERS is in a bookstore near you now!

Here’s the blurb:

Ancient prophecy holds that 12/21/2012 will bring a global cataclysm. Mankind’s only hope lies with the Nightkeepers, modern magic-wielding warriors who must find their destined mates and fulfill the legends to defeat the rise of terrible Mayan demons in the last few years leading up to 2012.

In SKYKEEPERS, Michael Stone is a man with a dark secret that has skewed his magical abilities dangerously toward the underworld. Seeking redemption, he sets out on a perilous mission to save the daughter of Ambrose Ledbetter, a renowned Mayanist who died before he could reveal the location of a hidden library. The Nightkeepers must find the library before their enemies gain access to its valuable cache of spells and prophecies.

Sasha Ledbetter grew up hearing heroic tales of an ancient group of powerful magi who were destined to save the world from destruction. She never expected that her bedtime stories would come to life in the form of Nightkeeper Michael Stone, or that she’d hold the key to the warrior’s survival. As Sasha and Michael join forces to prevent the imminent battle, sparks of attraction ignite between them, and they’re forced to confront the unexpected passion that brings them together … and also tears them apart.

This series (and particularly this book) often looks at what makes people afraid. In the largest sense, the overall arc is about the fear of death and endings: The Nightkeepers are fighting to keep the world from ending, and to keep themselves (and future generations) alive. But more, it’s about the fear of failure: The Nightkeepers’ parents sacrificed themselves in an effort to short-circuit the 12/21/2012 countdown, but it continued and their children grew up orphans, in many cases not realizing their true natures. Now reunited, the modern magi are struggling to find their footing amidst new magic, ancient prophecies, and things that go bump in the night.

Within each story, the hero and heroine must deal with more personal fears. In SKYKEEPERS, Michael fears the loss of control—of his temper, his soul, the situation around him … and his heart. Likewise, Sasha fears change, growth, and learning the truth about her father and herself.

I think we can all relate to these fears, some of which might reflect back on our own lives. The concept of a relatable fear is in part what makes us (as readers) connect with a story, even if it’s about something that might not be in our immediate lives, such as Mayan magi, or vampires, or spacemen … The world of the story might interest us, but without a relatable character, it’s just a world.  It’s the characters that help us connect.

Beyond the ‘big picture’ stuff, smaller fears can become important details that help bring your characters to life.  In the fourth book in this series (DEMONKEEPERS, April ’10), the hero is recovering from a demonic possession that kept him trapped inside his own skull for nearly a year. As such, he emerges badly claustrophobic, to the point that he avoids his own couch because its soft, enfolding cushions and high arms make him feel trapped. 

Most often, these small details about a character emerge as I’m writing the story. Sometimes I don’t even know why someone has a certain phobia at first, only to see it later and think, “Duh. Of course!”  But by the same token, (as a writer) don’t be afraid to think about your characters’ phobias and use them as quirks, or clues into that person’s backstory.  As part of this, I’ve always thought that it’s interesting to look at the wide variety of phobias out there, and think about where they might stem from, and what interesting behaviors those fears might create.

Here’s one of mine: I have to minutely check over my earmuff-type hearing protectors every time I put them on, whether for mowing, nail-gunning, target practice, or whatnot. This is contrary to my overall character, as I’m fairly easygoing about my equipment and its state of repair (my significant other is the maintenance guy in the family- I tend to use what’s available, then complain when it breaks).

So … what does this mean?  As a writer, if I had an otherwise casual (borderline too casual) character who insisted on obsessing about one piece of equipment (hearing protectors), I would ask myself: why?  An immediate answer in this case might be that I might be afraid of going deaf. Maybe I have a family history of deafness, or already have some hearing impairment, making me hyperconscious of hearing protection.  Okay, that’s not bad … but it’s not the case here. 

So let’s go a level deeper.  What might have happened to this character (me) to make her obsess over her hearing protectors?  Well, in most cases, I use hearing protectors with a built-in radio (thus why I use earmuffs over earplugs). That might suggest that I’m easily bored, and don’t like being left alone with my own thoughts when doing activities that require hearing protection (check and check). But it also suggests that something might’ve happened with the radio, thus causing my paranoia.  Did it short-circuit, zapping me unconsciousness one day?  Nice try, but no. 

For me, the answer is another fear that I think many people can relate to: Spiders.  Now, I don’t love spiders, but I’ve learned to tolerate them without screaming and bolting. For the most part, anyway. But one day a few years ago, I shut off the mower mid-chore one morning, stripped off my gloves and ear protectors, and went inside to get a drink. When I got back to the mower, I skipped my usual (and semi-casual) “check to make sure nothing crawled into the earmuffs” routine—it’d only been a couple of minutes, after all.

Well, I hadn’t mowed much further when there was a tickle in my ear.  Thinking it was a stray piece of hair, I pulled off the muffs, scratched my ear, put them back on, and continued mowing. The tickle returned; I repeated the scratch, this time glancing into the muff to see if there was something in there—a piece of grass or something.  I didn’t see anything.  Tickle, look, scratch. Rinse; repeat. 

This went on for a good ten minutes before I finally shut down the mower, took the headphones all the way off, and examined them in detail, only to find a BIG, JUICY BROWN SPIDER hiding all tucked up under the lining.  Aaahhh!!!  It looked like he (she?) had been hiding up there when I took off the muffs, and then when I put them back on, s/he would come out in the nice, warm darkness to explore MY EAR.  Urgh.  (Shuddering at the memory.)

From a character standpoint, we could go deeper with this, into how I had an uncle who suffered a catastrophic aneurysm in his forties, and a grandmother with late-onset Alzheimers. I’ve got an ego about being fairly intelligent, make my living as a writer and technical editor (both brain-critical jobs), and live with a low-grade fear of brain injury: I ride showjumpers, and although I always wear the latest in crash helmet technology, head injuries are unfortunately a risk in the sport. And while I intellectually know that there’s an infinitesimal chance that the spider could have crawled up inside my ear canal and laid eggs, and then that the resulting progeny could have somehow burrowed up into my brain, thereby damaging it … I had nightmares for a couple of weeks after that incident. Seriously. I would wake up, convinced there were baby spiders coming out of my ear and I couldn’t remember my own name.

Thus we arrive at the otherwise-casual character who obsesses about her ear protectors.

Will I ever use this particular detail and backstory for a character?  Maybe. Probably not. But I think it gives an interesting perspective on how small details can provide larger insights into characters, and how it’s important to keep both large and small details in mind when writing a story. 

So tell me … what small, strange thing scares you (and if you’re willing to share … why)???

*****

Dive in there, ladies and gent, let’s give ourselves the creeps.  And don’t forget, one lucky commenter will receive a signed copy of NIGHTKEEPERS or DAWNKEEPERS!

Scene opens with the entire crew wearing men’s dress shirts in various colors.  Some buttoned more than others. *cough*Hellie*cough*  Lounging on two scarlet red chaises are writing phenomenon, Victoria Dahl, and the Bo’sun.  Hottie crew members are passing out drinks and bon bons.

Bo’sun: Thank you so much for joining us on the ship today, Ms. Dahl.

VICTORIA: Thanks for inviting me to the party! This is quite the set up you’ve got here. Do I get my very own cabin boy?

Bo’sun:  Of course you do! Check out our Hottie Crewmen and take your pick. (I’m guessing you’ll like our resident cowboy. *w*) You can even have two if that’s your fancy.  To say you are one busy lady might be the understatement of the year.  Why don’t you tell everyone what you have on your plate and up your sleeve for the next year?

VICTORIA: I am a busy lady! Strange how much time I still have for snacking, but snacks aside, here’s what I have going on. My first erotic e-romance, “The Wicked West,” debuted in June. START ME UP hits the stands this week, and ONE WEEK AS LOVERS will be in stores on August 1^st! Woohoo! And I have one more release in 2009; my first vampire novella, “Laird of Midnight,” which will be included in the September anthology HIGHLAND BEAST with Hannah Howell!

Bo’sun: *takes a moment to close her mouth*  Is there some kind of special supplement you take every day?  Or maybe some magical clock that has 33 hours a day?

VICTORIA: I get a lot of vitamin C in the margarita form. And I emulate Scarlett O’Hara every time someone asks how I’m going to make my next deadline. “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” Basically, my life has been crazy for the past year and a half, but I’ve tried to be brave in the face of sacrifice. For example, I’ve nobly given up cooking and cleaning and sewing homemade Halloween costumes with nary a complaint. Also, I never sewed Halloween costumes.

Bo’sun: You are officially my new role model. I think we should all follow your regimen.  So, as you mention, July 1^st you’re celebrating the release of the second in your Contemporary series titled START ME UP.  What’s the book about?

VICTORIA: START ME UP is Lori Love’s story. It’s a bit of the flip side of the first book, because TALK ME DOWN was about Molly Jennings returning to her small home town, but Lori has never managed to leave, despite big dreams of traveling the world. At this point in her life, she can’t drop everything and move, but she wants to experience a little of the excitement she’s missed out on. Luckily, her childhood friend, Quinn Jennings, volunteers to help her spice things up, using her favorite erotica stories as guide books. Obviously the man is a genius. A sexy genius.

Bo’sun: *looks around to find the crew fighting over the one copy aboard*  I knew that was going to happen.  The first in this series featured a heroine with an interesting occupation, which led to a sort of spin off/follow-up extra story.  Tell the crew about TALK ME DOWN and the bonus that came out of it.

VICTORIA: Molly Jennings, the heroine of TALK ME DOWN, writes erotic romance for a living. Throughout that book, Molly is hard at work on a story about a Wild West sheriff with kinky needs he can’t satisfy with the decent women in his town. I never considered writing the story myself, but my publisher called me up one day and asked if I’d be willing to consider it. Consider it?! I jumped on that offer faster than you can say, “Oh, Sheriff!” “The Wild West” is now available online as a short story in ebook form. And I hope it’s as fantastically delicious to read as it was to write! *dabs sweat from brow*

Bo’sun:  There seems to be a heat wave on this ship today. “Oh, Sheriff!” indeed.  Now, where was I?  Oh yes, it’s time to bring up the reason I knew I had to have you on the ship. Other than the fact that you’re an irritatingly talented writer (*g*) and uber-cool, you created a heroine who *gasp* is sexually experienced, knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to say it.  So, uhm, how’d that go for you? LOL!

VICTORIA: Well… let’s put it this way: some readers were THRILLED. And some were… er… willing to use strong language to convey how much they didn’t like Molly. But Molly is Molly. She takes joy in life and in men. As a matter of fact, I was a little surprised at some of the negative comments about Molly–“dog in heat” comes to mind–because she’s so positive about her own sexuality. There’s nothing damaged or dirty about it. And that’s how I hope ALL of us can view ourselves, no matter how much or how little experience we have. Sex is supposed to be a good time, and frankly, I’m not interested in cursing my poor heroines with a lifetime of bad sex before the hero finally makes his entrance. You never hear the HEROES complain about how miserable sex was before the heroine came along. She’s special, of course, but folks, he has been having orgasms, and plenty of them.

Bo’sun:  Well let me just say THANK YOU from all of us. We certainly try to promote that sex is a good time here whenever we can. (You’ll see proof when you see the drink menu.) You are totally our hero…err…heroine.  For anyone who has been living under a rock, you actually debuted in Romance with Historicals.  Did you always write in both time periods and how do you handle bouncing between them?

VICTORIA: Historical was my first love. As a matter of fact, when I started to write, historicals were the only thing I read. Then I discovered paranormals. Then romantic suspense and just about every genre in between. I’ve since written historicals, paranormals AND contemporaries. For me, writing across subgenres is almost like cleansing my palate. After I’ve been concentrating on the lush, rich world of scandalous historicals, it is such a relief to crack a few penis jokes, you know? Almost like a vacation… for the first few days anyway. LOL

Bo’sun:  *clears throat* Why we were just talking penises around here last week. Well, the rest of the crew were, I’d never….okay, I started it.  Now, our favorite topic, heroes. *sigh*  Where do you find inspiration for these delectable men and what’s your favorite part about writing them?

VICTORIA: Hmm. Well, it’s not easy. I have to spend many, many hours of prep time just lounging around with them first. You’ve got to put in the good quality time with these guys to be sure they’re worthy hero material. And sometimes they surprise you. That’s the best part. My upcoming historical hero is Lancaster, who first made an appearance in A RAKE’S GUIDE TO PLEASURE. I knew he was handsome and charming. I knew he was adorable. But suddenly, Lancaster takes off his cravat and he has this scar. A huge scar on his neck. What in the world happened to him? I was horrified! Poor Lancaster! I had to write his story just to find out. And you’ll have to read ONE WEEK AS LOVERS if you want to know too. *evil grin*

Bo’sun:  You had me at “takes off his cravat”.  I guess it’s time I give the crew and our pirate pals the chance to ask some questions.  As mentioned, we do have an extensive drink menu on this ship so just let 2^nd Chance  know whether you’d like a Glittery Hooha or a Seething Passion.  Then again, there’s always the Mighty Mast.  We still have no idea where she gets those, shall we say, illustrative glasses.  Did you have a question you’d like to put to your audience?

VICTORIA: Oh, you know I’ll have to go for the Glittery Hooha! Okay, girls, here’s my question: In START ME UP, Lori Love offers Quinn a glimpse into her fantasies by letting him read her favorite erotica books. Would you let your significant  (or not-so-significant) other read your favorite books to find out what YOU think is sexy?

Thanks so much for having me! (Pun intended.) This is one fun interview!

Bo’sun: I can’t wait to read the answers to this one.  There’s a copy of START ME UP up for grabs to one lucky commenter so get to it, wenches!

Jeanne Adams writes thrilling suspense for Kensington and has a number of magical romantic suspense novels waiting in the wings as well, hopefully to be published soon with another publisher.  Her debut novel, DARK AND DANGEROUS, hit shelves one year ago to critical acclaim and much reader love.  Now she’s celebrating the release of her sophomore effort, DARK AND DEADLY, and joining us here on The Revenge as my second interview vict….err….interviewee.  So without further ado, it’s on with the show…

Bo’sun:  First off, thank you so much for blogging with us here on the pirate ship. 

Jeanne:  I’m delighted to be here!  Thanks for having me aboard.

Bo’sun:  To start off, we need to make a quick trip back to the beginning.  How long have you been writing and how many manuscripts did you write before you finally sold?  And do please share your call story. Nothing like a great call story (and really, aren’t they all great?!  I mean, it’s THE CALL!).

Jeanne:  I’ve been writing seriously – as in with an eye toward publication – for about 10 years, and Dark and Dangerous was my 9^th manuscript.  Had to laugh, because yeah, any Call story is GOOD!  Ha! 

Mine began on a muggy summer morning about a week after the last Dallas conference.  I was driving my son to camp.  My cell phone rang, and since my sister usually calls during drive time, I didn’t even look at the number.  I just picked it up and said, “Hey sis, hang on.  BOYS!  Keep it DOWN, I’m trying to talk to Aunt Sis.”  Turned back to the phone to hear Kate Duffy laughing.  She said, “Well, it’s not your sister, it’s Kate Duffy.”

I had an OS moment, and since it was morning and was as yet uncaffeinated, I had to think, oh, man, what did I just say?  Did I curse?  Crap!  I put on my most professional voice and said, “Kate, how nice to hear from you.  I’m driving my boys to camp, could I call you back in about thirty minutes?”  All the while thinking, Holy CRAP!, It’s KATE DUFFY!  Meanwhile, she’s still laughing.  She said it would be fine for me to call her back, and by the way, she wanted to buy what became Dark and Dangerous.  I thanked her, hung up and screamed, then started singing the alto part of the Hallelujah chorus.

Both the scream and the singing got my sons’ attention – the little one started to cry because he couldn’t understand why I had screamed.  :>  The older one wondered what the heck was wrong with Mom!  I told him, in terms he could understand (i.e. a baseball analogy) that I’d just hit a homer.  He grinned, got out of the car at camp and told his coaches, “Hey, my mom hit a homer in the car!”  The youngest still doesn’t understand why I screamed.  Ha!

I obviously called Kate back, and she was still laughing at me.  I didn’t care because she kept saying things like, “buy” and “contract” and “paperwork will be mailed to you” and things like that so I didn’t care. 

Bo’sun:  Your debut novel, DARK AND DANGEROUS, hit the shelves a year ago.  What was that like?  Did you pinch yourself for months?

Jeanne:  I really did.  It was surreal.  My second book was due to Kate the same day Dark and Dangerous came out, so in some ways I didn’t have the mental space to be too freaked out.  Have to say though, the first time you walk into a bookstore and see a book with your name on it?  Priceless.

Bo’sun:  Now, to do some selling. Your new release, DARK AND DEADLY hit shelves June 1.  What is this one about?  And did you get to name your own books because these are some great titles?

Jeanne:  I’ll answer the second question first…no.  Kensington picked the titles, but I’ve liked them, and my cover art, so I’m happy!

In Dark and Deadly, Torie Hagen had terrible luck with men.  First, she’s left at the altar, then when she recovers from that, she finds her luck goes from bad to worse.  Or I should say the men have terrible luck!  Several are injured, one dies, and all because they dated Torie.  This string of tragedies culminates with Torie’s house being bombed and her ex-fiance being murdered five years to the day after what would have been their wedding day.  Evidence at the scene implicates Torie.  Now a murder suspect, Torie has to turn to the one man who she believes would as soon see her dead or in jail.  Paul Jameson was her ex-fiance’s best man.  He and Torie had one hot date, but Paul broke off any further contact, and tried to keep her from marrying his best friend.  Now her lawyer, Paul also becomes a target.  Together Paul and Torie have to figure out what the police are missing, who’s been stalking Torie and is now targeting them both for execution, before they either kill each other, or fall madly in love.

Bo’sun:  I’m exhausted just reading all that.  You do put your characters through the ringer.  But you also have some really creepy characters do some really scary things.  Do you ever creep yourself out?

Jeanne:  Every now and again, I do.  I come up with some pretty creepy villains.  Most of the time, I try to think about what I would never do, then drop it down a level even creepier than that.  It does sometimes creep  my husband out too.  Ha!

Bo’sun:  I’m sure the man sleeps with one eye open. *g*  You have such an interesting array of skills and experiences.  How do you combine a degree in interior design and landscape design with more than a dozen years working in the funeral and cemetery business? (Yes ladies, she’s your go to girl on body disposal. LOL!)

Jeanne:  I’m a glutton for punishment?  Ha!  Part of it is being a writer, I think.  I’m interested in a lot of things.  The funeral and cemetery biz knowledge is an offshoot of being married to a funeral director for a number of years.  My first husband.  I killed him off in my first manuscript.  Very cathartic.  Then again, that manuscript was a great catharsis and learning experience all the way around – which is probably why it’ll never see the light of day!  I’ve been in real estate and design though since high school.  My Mama was a Realtor and I just love gardening and landscaping and all that.  Combine that with a degree in psychology, Library Science and a near-degree in English for an even wilder mix, you know?

Bo’sun:  If I didn’t feel like a major under achiever before….  To wrap it up before I turn things over to the crew, you give back to the writing community with some great workshops.  Can you tell us a bit about them and how they came about?

Jeanne:  What a lovely compliment!  I do love to give back.  So many authors, especially Romance authors, are very generous with their time and knowledge.  As a recipient of a lot of those hours of instruction, it’s a privilege to give back in any way I can.  The classes I teach are a result of wanting to help writers write well, and/or provide information that might not be easily available otherwise.  I’m teaching the body disposal class at National this year, and as another way to pay back some of that great karma I received, I’m also running for the RWA National Board!  I know, glutton for punishment…but if you’re not casting a vote for your BFF in Region One, I’d love it if you’d consider voting for me!  :>

What about you all?  What’s your way of giving back?  Or conversely, how do you overload yourself?  I had to force myself to give up PTA, because I really wanted to make my writing deadlines, and then run for the board…but it was tough!  How do you draw the line?  (I’m always looking for new ways to UNtangle myself from commitments!  Ha!  I could use some pointers!)

Bo’sun: You all know I can’t help with this one so chime in and help Jeanne out!  TWO lucky commenter will win a free copy of Jeanne’s latest release, DARK & DEADLY, so get to it.

Okay, so it’s not really reckless, but the title sounded good.

Back by popular demand, The Romance Writer’s Revenge is happy to announce the return of Contemporary Author, Toni Blake, back to the ship. *loud cheers fill the air*  Toni is celebrating the release of ONE RECKLESS SUMMER, the first novel in her first ever series.  Without further delay, it’s on with the show…..

Bo’sun: We are so excited to have you with us, Toni. Thanks again for being here. 

Toni:  Thanks so much for inviting me!  And it’s not every interview that takes place on a pirate ship, so how could I resist?

Jack:  *popping up out of nowhere*  What a lovely. Why did no one tell me we had a beautiful blonde on the ship today?

Toni: *blushes sweetly* Why, why … thank you, Captain Jack.  You’re not bad to look at yourself.

Bo’sun: Did you not get the email, Jack? I could have sworn you were on there.

Jack: *making eyes at Toni then turning a confused look to Bo’sun* Did you say female? You sent me a female?

Bo’sun: *rolls eyes*  I’m trying to do an interview here, Jack. 

Jack: Why don’t I do the interview? I do love me a blonde lass.

Toni: *winking* And I do love me a sexy pirate captain, so it’s okay with me.

Bo’sun: *looking a bit put out*

Hellie: *yelling from the helm* JACK! Did you just say something about a blonde?

Bo’sun: *whispering to Jack* She’s armed, Jack. You might want to go make amends.

Jack: *grins and kisses Toni’s hand* It would never have worked between us, darling.

Toni: *now the one looking put out* Wait, where’s he going?  This was just starting to get fun.

Bo’sun:  He has some work to do…below decks. Mayhaps he’ll stop back later.  *clears throat* Now, back to the task at hand.  This month you celebrate the release of ONE RECKLESS SUMMER, the first book in your new series.  Tell us, what’s this story about?

Toni: *clearing throat and smoothing hair, clearly trying to get her professional wits back about her after the Jack encounter*  Ah, yes – thanks for asking about ONE RECKLESS SUMMER – I’m very excited about its release.  It’s the classic story of the ultimate good girl coming back to her hometown after a nasty divorce, where she collides with the ultimate bad boy she knew as a young girl.  Jenny needs to regain her independence and her developing relationship with Mick helps her do that in ways she never imagined.  But Mick has a very big secret – the life and death kind – and by trusting Jenny to keep it, he’s literally putting his freedom on the line.

I will also mention that I’m completely in love with the cover of ONE RECKLESS SUMMER, and excited to share that the book peaked at #8 at BN.com and was the #1 romance there last weekend.  And Eloisa James featured the book in her B&N column too, so it’s been a fun couple of weeks since the book came out!

Bo’sun:  The cover is gorgeous and with all the life and death stuff AND the freedom on the line, that #1 spot doesn’t surprise me at all.  (BTW – click on the cover to go straight to B&N and order!)  Was it your idea to write a series or did your publisher suggest it?

Toni:  Avon asked me to write a series, and at first, I was resistant because I so enjoy setting my books in different places and developing that place as a large part of the book’s “personality.”  But now that I’ve created the Destiny series, I’m completely wrapped up in it and very excited about it. 

Bo’sun:  Destiny is such a great name for a small town setting.  What’s up next in the series and how far ahead do you have planned?

Toni:  The next book is called TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT and will be released next year.  The book features two characters readers will become familiar with in ONE RECKLESS SUMMER, brusque cop Mike Romo and city-girl-forced-to-come-home Rachel Farris.  Mike and Rachel are both used to having firm control over everything in their lives, and they totally meet their match in each other, knocking heads a lot before – and even after – they begin exploring their unwitting attraction to one another.  The book also revolves around Rachel trying to help her grandmother save the family apple orchard even as Mike is trying to buy it away, and an old family secret that changes everything.  My hope is to continue the series for a while – right now I have five books firmly in mind, with possibilities for more.

Bo’sun:  I grew up in Ohio with an apple orchard in my back yard. It’s like Destiny for me to read this book. LOL!  You and I talked a bit about this on another blog so I know the answer, but with five planned and possibly more, I know everyone wants to know how exactly you keep all the details of a series like this together?

Toni:  Well, it’s a challenge, so I’ve put together what I refer to as my “Destiny Bible,” a three-ring binder where I have detailed pages on each character, including secondary characters, and notes on all businesses or homes in the town of Destiny, along with pages about pets, community events, you name it.  When you know literally anything you put on the page could come up in a later book, it’s a lot to keep track of.

Bo’sun: I’m reminded of why I only write stand aloneS. *g*  You’ve won many awards in your career, but you can now always be referred to as a RITA nominated author. How did it feel to get that nomination? Did it change your career at all?

Toni:  The nomination was very important to me personally, and very special, because it meant my peers, other authors, found my work worthy.  And as a girl who enjoys dressing up, I will admit I enjoyed and really made the most of all the fanfare surrounding the awards night.  It was also very fun to get to share it with the friends who were with me that night.  As for changing my career, no, not really.  But it’s still nice, as you say, to have that designation as a RITA-nominated author. 

Bo’sun: That was a beautiful dress you wore. Lavendar is definitely your color.  Time to put you on the spot. What is your absolute favorite thing about this new book? And no “I love everything about it.” LOL! Pick one best part about it.

Toni:  Well, I’ll have to go with the book’s hero, Mick Brody.  I think he’s the baddest bad boy I’ve ever written, and from the responses I’ve gotten from readers so far, they seem to love Mick as much as I do. 

And by the way, readers who’d like to learn more about the book or read an excerpt can do so at my website.  And in the meantime, I, uh, think I see Jack waving at me.  Oh, and he’s holding up umbrella drinks!  How nice – much better than that yo ho ho and a bottle of rum thing, and I love nothing in life more than umbrella drinks and pirates who look astonishingly like Johnny Depp, so … do you mind if we make that the last question for now?

Bo’sun: I think it will have to be as I’m still reeling from the idea that Mick is more of a bad boy than Joe Ramsey.  Seriously? Wow!  But do be careful, Jack can be very distracting and we’d hate to lose you for the rest of the day.

Toni:  Don’t worry, I’ll be back to take comments and any other questions a little later, but it would just be rude to turn down a tasty tropical drink after he went to all that trouble.

Alright wenches and our English matey, grab your own drink, umbrellas optional, and fire away.  Does the idea of the baddest of the bad boys have you hooked yet?  Or is it more the life and death stuff that has you diving in?  Don’t forget, One lucky commenter will win their very own copy of ONE RECKLESS SUMMER.  

Over-the-top, But Under the Rejection Radar:

Making Quirky, Bigger-than-life Characters Believable

Recently, my non-fiction writing partner, Faye Hughes, and I did a workshop at the Romantic Times Convention.  I had an Australian bookseller come up to me post-workshop and say, “After reading several books by the same author, booksellers and readers start to imagine what an author is really like.  Many times when we meet the author we realize how wrong we were.  But not with you.  You are just as we imagined you’d be.”

Now, let’s stop and consider this for a just a second.  You see, I write over-the-top, southern, quirky characters who have an even quirkier family.  One of my characters was a photographer who filled her house with talking appliances—another was a perfectionist who just happened to be a nervous puker.  Then there was a fidgeting mystery writer who had a vitamin C obsession.   

Then comes Macy Tucker, in my latest release, Gotcha!

Macy is a smart-mouthed pizza delivery girl/law student who allows only two tissues for crying jags for fear she’ll end up being like her mom.  Macy’s history with men reads a bit like a daytime talk show where words are bleeped out, noses are broken, and chairs are thrown. 

So knowing this about my characters, I stood in front of that bookseller, dressed in my best suit, my hair freshly coifed, watching my Ps and Qs, keeping my southernisms of “ain’t” and “fixin’” to myself, and I wanted to claim it was all fiction.  But then I had to face the cold, hard facts. In spite of all my efforts to appear normal, people had figured me out.

I have moments in which I am as crazy, just as over-the-top as my characters.  Some of you might be thinking, well, this is all fine and good, but I’m not a fruitcake, yet I’d still like to write about fruitcakes.  Well, don’t panic.  You don’t have to be whacky to write whacky.  There is a method to my madness, and to writing madness.

The reason I bring up my own quirkiness is to make a point.  Whenever I get myself in a crazy, zany situation, there are generally four things involved that lead me, or explain my adventure into chaos: logic, emotion, universal truth, and motivation.  The method to madness, to writing over the top characters, and making the characters believable, all lies in these four things as well as the addition of a character’s own sense of befuddlement.  And making your over-the-top characters believable is generally the hardest part to getting them past an editor and a reader.

·         Logic

You may not think logic will play a part in the over-the-top situations with your zany characters, but you’re wrong.  While the situation may come off illogical, for the character to appear believable they need to use some form of logic for their behavior.  The reader, while they may be laughing at the off-the-chart situation in which your character arrives at, they see the character’s thought process, making the character and their reactions believable.  When writing an off-the-wall scene, follow the character’s logical thought process into the illogical action.

And example of this is my character in DIVORCED, DESPERATE and DELICIOUS when she grabs a singing fish off the wall to take on the man who is holding her at gun point.  My character thinks about the bat in the garage being a better weapon, but she’s not in the garage; she thinks about the lamp being a better choice, but she can’t get to the lamp.  The only thing she has within her reach is the singing fish.  It’s illogical, and over the top, but her reasoning makes it appear logical.   

·         Emotion

Whether it’s logical or not, emotion drives us.  And by allowing the reader to feel the character’s emotions, the character’s illogical/zany actions or decisions will appear not only believable but logical. How many times have you heard someone say, “I can’t believe they did that, but then again, they were so emotional they just weren’t thinking straight?”  So emotion in itself is a logical reason for acting illogical.  Even murder can be explained and the punishment lessoned by using the excuse of temporary insanity, which is generally a direct result of an emotional overload.

In GOTCHA! my heroine is constantly getting herself in trouble.  Like the time she pretends to deliver pizzas as she investigates a couple of missing convicts and winds up face to face with a bad guy and has to defend herself using her ball-busting knee and a Buddha statue. It was a stupid situation to get herself in, but her emotional state of mind, desperately wanting to find her brother, also an escaped convict, and get him back in jail before he got himself killed drives her to do some less than brilliant things. 

·         Universal Truth

Whatever bizarre situation you write, if there is some universal truth in it that you have brought to the reader’s mind, something at the core of the story that is accepted as true by the majority of people, then the reader will more than likely suspend belief.  Some universal truths are not even always true, but they are believed to be true.  A good example of this is a stereotype.  If you have a character who has an over-the-top obsession of always being exact, he may not come across as real until you add the universal truth of him being an engineer.  Because engineers are considered to be obsessively precise, the character is suddenly viewed as believable. 

Another way universal truth comes into play with over-the-top characters and scenes is what I call the Seinfeld method.  Start with the kernel of truth, then slowly let it built to the quirky level.  The Seinfeld show did this with almost every episode.  They took a universal truth, something we all have dealt with, i.e., a low talker.  Don’t we all know someone whose voice is so low that speaking to them over the phone is difficult, or that you have to lean close to hear their words?  Who hasn’t met the newborn baby that everyone was saying is beautiful, but one look at the child and he reminds you of an old congressman.  If you use a universal truth in a scene and write it in a way most everyone can relate, this will allow you to introduce loads of off-the-chart humor that will not only be believable, but even funnier because the reader will identify.

In WEDDINGS CAN BE MURDER, my heroine’s nervous puking problem and my hero’s sympathetic puking problem are both universal truths slightly exaggerated. It’s a universal truth that when nervous, some people suffer from nausea.  It’s also a universal truth that some people can’t hear another person tossing their lunch up without joining in on the party.  By taking these universal truths and building them up just a bit, I created some very funny character traits.       

·         Motivation

Why do your characters do what they do?  Behind every action, even one that is bizarre, is generally a motivation. The crazier my situation or a character trait, the more grounded and emotional I make the motivation.  When a reader understands why a character is doing something, they are more likely to believe in them, no matter how crazy the situation or trait might be. 

Let’s say I have a quirky character who, every time she confronts conflict, is seen running into her office and doing a backwards flip.  I will give her a real, emotional reason for having this crazy flaw.  Let’s say, that her parents died when she was eight in a tragic accident.  And her grandma, who raised her, was a gymnast and a gymnast trainer.  So as a child, her grandma was constantly telling her, “When you feel as if your world is off kilter, go ahead and do a backwards flip and when you land on your feet, you’ll have a better idea how to deal with the problems.”  So as a child, being raised at a gym, she did backward flips the same way someone else would bite their nails or grab a chocolate bar.

Whenever your characters do something odd, or expose a very unique character trait, delve through their backgrounds and find out what is motivating them to be who they are and act the way they act.  Creating and showing a character’s heart-rending motivation to the reader will not only make them believable but lovable to the reader.

In DIVORCED, DESPERATE, AND DATING, my character’s vitamin C obsession is caused by the fact that when young, her father died from a complication of a common cold.  Because vitamin C is known to prevent colds, she now insists everyone she knows and loves take the daily dose to prevent a cold that could possibly take the loved one from her life.         

·         A Character’s Own Sense of Befuddlement

Whenever your characters are doing something crazy, or find themselves in a crazy situation, make sure they react to and recognize the madness of the moment.  Have them question their own sanity.  Have them ponder if anyone will ever believe the story.  Have them second guess their decisions, or wish they could have bit their tongue instead of telling their boss that he had the intelligence of a toad on muscle relaxers and he should get the wart burned off his nose and stop wearing his pants up under his chin.  People do crazy things. But when people go bat-shit crazy, they usually have an ‘Oh-shit’ moment that follows.  Make sure your characters have their oh-shit moments. 

If a character realizes and acknowledges that they went completely crazy, or that they found themselves in a freaking weird situation, then the reader will think, yup, that character did that, or yes, that was really weird, but they will keep reading and believing, because the character admitted the oddity themselves.  And face it, who hasn’t done something stupid, or found themselves in a strange situation every now and then?

So, there you have it.  Not only the way I create my characters, but my excuses for being half-whacky myself.  I’m a logical person, but my logic sometimes seems to work off kilter compared everyone else’s logic meter.  I’m emotional.  Hey, I’m a writer, aren’t we all a bit emotional?  I love the universal truths, if that means I’m bit a gullible, so be it!  I DO NOT lack in motivation, my own back story reads worse than one of my novels.  Seriously, my mom accidentally stole a car, my dad accidentally built a bomb, my cousin, the ex-mailman, is the reason the word “POSTAL” came into being.  He did 20 years.    Yup, I come from good stock–a long line of gamblers and moonshiners, with a few murderers thrown in for laughs.  No doubt about it, I’ve got all the motivation I need to be quirky.  And those oh-shit moments, I have them daily.

Anyway, today I’m giving away a signed copy of GOTCHA! and a few neat promotional items to one lucky commenter.  So make sure you post.  Tell me about some of your character’s oh-shit moments or if you’re brave enough, share your own, or tell me about your character’s, or your own, motivations for doing something stupid.

If you’d like to read another funny post about one of my quirky situations/days pop over to www.dorchesterpub.com to their special feature section.  You’ll also see a contest to win basket of Christie Craig books and goodies.

Thanks for having me.

Her debut Historical Romance, A HINT OF WICKED, hits stores shelves this week and that means craziness all around. But Grand Central Publishing author, Jennifer Haymore, was sweet enough to make time for us. Let’s give her a warm Pirate welcome! 

Love triangles…ahh. The ditty “Torn between two lovers…feeling like a fool…” has been floating around in my head for a few weeks now.

I actually think love triangles are pretty common in real life…it’s just that they’re often cut and dry, because the choices are obvious. When I was a freshman in college, a senior pursued me rabidly for a while. He was cute and worldly, and he had this fantastic French accent. But then I met my future husband—who was everything I wanted in a guy—and Cute Mr. French Dude didn’t have a chance. See what I mean? I made my decision in less than a split second. (And Cute Mr. French Dude sent me black roses for a while afterward, but we won’t talk about that…)

I experienced a bit of a more complicated love triangle in high school, but I eventually came to my senses about that one too. That one was a bit more poorly handled than the college one. I still cringe a little when I think about it, but I try to give myself a break—I was only sixteen, after all!

In A HINT OF WICKED, the heroine, Sophie, truly is torn between two men. The tricky part is that she sincerely loves both of them. So…how can she choose?  When I think about my real-life love triangles, they were a cinch compared to Sophie’s dilemma. But you can’t really blame Sophie for not instantly choosing one over the other—Garrett and Tristan are both heroes in the truest sense of the world.

Here are descriptions of the heroes of A HINT OF WICKED:

Garrett: Sophie’s first love, possessive, a military man & leader, rough & dangerous, loyal, quiet & keeps to himself, blue-eyed and muscular, has always loved her

Tristan: Tall, dark and handsome, loyal, charismatic & charming, refined & aristocratic, a leader, treats Sophie as an equal, wants to protect her & has always loved her

Tough decision, don’t you think?

I told my husband I was doing a blog about the difficulty of choosing between two fantastic heroes and in his logical, numerical (and ever so masculine) way, he sat down and made me a list of things to consider when one is torn between two lovers:

CRITERIA FOR CHOOSING YOUR TRUE HERO

(according to Jennifer Haymore’s Husband):

(1) Emotional attraction

(2) Physical attraction

(3) Intellectual compatibility

(4) Compatibility in enjoyments / hobbies

(5) Level of friendship/trust

(6) Which one will more easily find a new mate after a rejection from me

(7) Children involved

(8) Legal issues

(9) The amount of time you’ve spent with each, factoring in quality vs. quantity

After creating his list, my husband was a little stumped. “How should I weigh the answers to the above questions to determine my final answer?” he asked. “For example, do I value emotional attraction twice as much as intellectual compatibility?”

Hahahahahaha! And hahahaa some more!  Man, I love my husband. He’s such a man. He can compartmentalize everything, somehow turn thousands of shades of gray into something black and white.

But then, he shocked me. After mulling over his practical list for a while, he said, “You know, I’d probably do what I’d do in real life when presented with a quandary such as this.  I’d follow my heart.”

Which, I have to say, is what Sophie does. And it’s what I did in high school (eventually) and in college. I ended up marrying the guy my heart told me was the right one for me. So I’m thinking maybe I should give my husband credit for being a little more enlightened than I originally thought!

But what about you? What do you think of romance novels that have two heroes rather than one? Do any specific books come to mind? And if it happened to you, how easy would it really be for you to choose?

It is my honor and privilege to introduce, for her first visit to The Revenge (and if we have our way, certainly not her last) Historical Romance author and the creative genius behind The Legend of the Werestag (which is AWESOME!), rising star Tessa Dare.

Arrrh, wenches!   Avast, me hearties!

All right, that’s all the pirate-speak I’ve got in me.  But it is my extreme pleasure to be welcomed aboard this fine ship.  Many thanks to Terri for inviting me!

When I began writing historical romance a few years ago, the word amongst industry folk was that Historicals were DEAD.  Paranormals were the hot subgenre, and it seemed like every author was jumping on the “paranormal bandwagon.” 

Well, if paranormals were all that would sell, then I figured my ship was sunk.  I don’t have anything against the subgenre, and I enjoy some paranormal authors immensely, but overall it’s just not my favorite.  I find it more difficult to suspend my disbelief when vamps, shifters, demons, and the like are involved, and I have a harder time sinking into the story and enjoying the romance.  And if it’s harder for me to enjoy it, I figured it would be impossible for me to write it well.

So I went ahead writing GODDESS OF THE HUNT, a Regency-set historical, anyway—and fortunately the market started to shift just as I found an agent, and I was able to sell it.  Along the way, however, I found that there were certain elements of the paranormal subgenre that I really envied.  The high stakes, for instance—in a Regency, it’s REALLY hard to devise a situation where the future of the known universe could hang in the balance.  The potential for life-or-death immediacy, for another.  Sure, Regencies see their share of duels and carriage accidents, but they’re known more for card parties and masquerade balls than thrill-a-minute action.

And then those half-human heroes…rrwowr!  Whether they’ve got fangs, claws, or fur…there’s something so irresistible about those heroes who put the real “beast” in the “Beauty and the Beast” trope.

I started wondering if there wasn’t a way I could steal some of those paranormal conventions and use them in a historical.  Not just jump on the bandwagon, but hijack it and steer it in my own direction.  Like any good pirate would, eh? 

And that’s how my novella THE LEGEND OF THE WERESTAG was born.  Since I knew I couldn’t just ignore all my own skepticisms, I decided to embrace them instead—I put those skepticisms into the mouths of my characters and let them debate the believability of a shifting man-beast.  And because the world has seen enough heroes with fangs and claws, I decided mine would have prongs. 

I still couldn’t quite manage to make the future of the universe hang in the balance, but I was able to work in some hair-raising action in the darkened forest.  And for my “man-beast” hero, I created Luke Trenton—a soldier just returned from war who feels he’s lost a part of his humanity.  His youthful sweetheart, Cecily Hale, has waited for him for four long years.  Luke still wants her, but he doesn’t think innocent Cecily could handle his inner beast.  But when their house-party group forges into the forest on the hunt for a local legend…it’s the Werestag who forces the issue.

So that’s how I wrote my un-paranormal paranormal and had a blast in the process.  And to my delight, Samhain was willing to publish it!  If only it could achieve the success of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!  Hm, what’s next?  A Regency space opera?  The not-so-secret secret baby?  Who knows…

How about you?   Ever contemplated hijacking the bandwagon?  Do you like writing or reading cross-genre tales?  What wacky crossover would you really like to see? And…read any good beasts lately?

Thanks so much for having me!

Tessa has been sweet enough to offer up one free download of her Samhain e-novella THE LEGEND OF THE WERESTAG as well as a signed coverflat of her debut full-length Regency Historical from Ballantine, GODDESS OF THE HUNT, hitting shelves in July.  Just join in the fun for your chance to win. (To order the novella or pre-order Tessa’s debut novel, click on the book covers.)