Today is all about giving awards.  We start off with the winner of the Bailey’s Irish Crème filled chocolates from Loucinda McGary.  Thanks to everyone who came by last Friday to give Loucinda a warm welcome.  And congratulations to Tina Ferraro on winning the much coveted chocolates! Tina, send your information to Loucinda here and she’ll get those chocolates out to you.

Now onto the Excellent Blog Awards.  Back in May, the lovely ladies over at The Romance Roundtable awarded us Pirates the Excellent Blog Award which originated here.  I know what you’re thinking.  Believe me, we were as shocked as you are.  But once we got over the shock and finished a couple kasks of rum, we got down to figuring out to whom we were going to forward the Excellence.  I give you, in no particular order, the blogs we feel deserve this award.

Pamela Clare

Killer Fiction

Erotic Muses

Vauxhall Vixens

First Edition: A Place for Originals

Romance Bandits

Maggie Robinson Means Romance

Manuscript Mavens

Word Wenches

The Book Bitches

We thank the Romance Roundtable for this award and we won’t even ask what they were smoking when they put us on their list.  If you haven’t heard of any of the blogs above, we encourage you to take the time to check them out.  But first, let us know what awards or prizes you’ve won lately.  I know Ely over at the Vixens blog recently finaled in the Fool for Love contest so big CONGRATS to Ely!  Who else deserves some kudos today?

A special HUZZAH! of thanks goes out to my fellow pirates for stepping in this week and really helping me out.  As my friend J would say, Love Your Guts, Ladies!

Mad Annie Mizzenmast…I mean, the incomparable Annie West is sharing two of her books with two commenters from yesterday’s fabulous blog! The winners are:

KATHY: The Greek Tycoon’s Unexpected Wife

KELLY: For the Sheikh’s Pleasure (lucky girl, Arik is SO delicious!)

Thank you, everyone, who came yesterday and made Annie’s visit with us a wonderful one. And be sure to visit us again when she visits us with her next book: The Desert King’s Pregnant Bride.

Kathy & Kelly, email me (mshellion@gmail.com) with your snail mail addresses and I’ll forward them to Annie.

Welcome, Colette Gale aboard the RWR. She is joining us today, on the day of her new release Master, to tell us about the ins and out of writing erotica. Please give a hearty welcome to Colette! *yelling and screaming*

What I love most about her books is that she writes from characters we know and love–and gives them the happy endings we wished for them. (Anyone as unhappy as I was about Phantom of the Opera? She fixed it! And she did it with lots of hot, spicy scenes. Good thing my sheets are flame-retardant. Had to get those after Jack arrived….)

The first time I watched Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera, I was entranced. I loved it! I cried at the end, though, when Christine chose to go with Raoul instead of the Phantom. After all, it was obvious to me that they belonged together.

I saw the play over and over through the years, and its soundtrack became one of my favorites. When the movie version, starring Gerard Butler, came out, I hoped….hoped!…that Webber would give me that happy ending.

Alas, he did not.

So I set out to write my own happy ending…and that was my first foray into writing erotica.

I’ve always been a fan of erotic novels–I count among some of my favorite reads The Story of O, Ann Rice’s Sleeping Beauty series, and Bertrice Small’s ground-breakiing Skye O’Malley saga (ground-breaking because it was erotica, but marketed and sold as part of the romance genre).

All of these books influenced my writing when I sat down to work on what later came to be officially titled Unmasqued: An Erotic Novel of the Phantom of the Opera….but at the time was, really, just an experiment for me. Could I write erotica?

Well, apparently, I can, since my second erotic novel, Master: An Erotic Novel of the Count of Monte Cristo is released today!

So how and where do I get these ideas? Do my husband and I have a harp in our bedroom? Have we done all these things?

Er. Without divulging too much information…no. Sorry.

Just as writers of psychological thrillers, who often get inside the heads of their murderers–and victims–couldn’t possibly have done those things, so can I say that, no. Only in my fantasies.

Here’s the important thing about erotica: it is fantasy. Remembering that is key. Just because I (or you) fantasize about something doesn’t mean we really would want it to happen. Just because we have fantasies about forced seduction, bondage, menage a trois, etc., doesn’t mean that we would really indulge in those activities…although there are certainly people who do put their fantasies into play.

But my erotic novels are also romances at the very heart. There is one man and one woman who ride off into their Happily Ever After at the end of the book. That’s part of the story–that’s why I wrote Unmasqued and Master.

And even though there is a lot of sex (a lot of sex) in the books, every single sex scene has a purpose. It moves the plot and it demonstrates the relationship between the two main characters. Or, in the subplots that happen around the hero and heroine. In fact, my rule of thumb is: at least one orgasm per chapter. Someone gets the happy at least once in each chapter–and it’s not always the hero or heroine.

In fact, in my books, the hero and heroine can and do interact with other characters…but…and here’s the very subtle place where I draw the line: they never have intercourse with anyone but each other.

A very subtle split of hairs, I know, but that’s where the line is drawn.

So. I’m very excited to announce the release of my second erotic novel, Master, based on Alexandre Dumas’s The Count of Monte Cristo. It is a revenge love story and I absolutely loved writing it. I think it’s my favorite book, even moreso than the Phantom book because this one has three love stories entwined in it.

I’m late getting this blog post to the ship, so in apology, I’d like to offer a copy of Unmasqued and also a copy of Master as prizes today…along with my heartfelt apology for my tardiness, my thanks to the Yoho Ladies for having me, and my promise to stick around an answer ANY questions you might have!

Thanks so much for having me!

Colette

‘Ello me hearty mates and crew. Today we’re going to do a little elementary compass navigation and orientation. (No, Jack my love, not sexual orientation; you are prickly. And no, Sin, I’m not dumping anyone off into the middle of the woods and saying, “Well, see you at supper!” and then giving you a merit badge if you arrive back without being covered in poison ivy.)

No, I speak of: Writing Orientation. How to get your bearings in your book, head off again in the right direction (i.e. start writing again) and arrive at your destination (i.e. HEA) sometime before your supplies (i.e. the rum) run out. A handy device all pirates need if they find themselves marooned…or possibly in a hurricane in which they think their ship is going to sink.

First and most important, find due NORTH. You won’t get your bearings or headings or anything until you’ve got your center. Your due NORTH is two things: characters and goals. So if you’re ever stuck, flailing about, sitting in Doldrums and wondering if a brisk wind will come again, find due NORTH. Remember where you are going and put it in contrast with where you are now. Just like NORTH is the most important of the four, your characters and their goals are the most important part of your story. They are the story. Are your characters still behaving true to themselves? Are they pursuing their goals for all they’re worth? Like NORTH, are they bigger and bolder than everything else (i.e. plot, secondary characters)? Are you keeping your scenes (like your sails) trim? If the scenes you’re putting on the page aren’t necessary to the characters or the goals, then they’re most likely dross that’s weighing down your ship and sailing you the long way to China.

Once you’ve got NORTH, glance behind you to the SOUTH. Notice this. There is no North without South, no love without hate, no peace without war, no romance without heartbreak. Here in the SOUTH lies conflict and irony. While your NORTH is focusing on character and goals, the SOUTH should be raising hell on the NORTH, making everyone wonder which side is going to win. (Am I the only one hearing “Dixie”?) Conflict keeps your characters and their goals in sharp desire. And while you’re at it, make sure some of your conflict is of the ironic variety. If your heroine hates class reunions and hell would freeze over before she attended one, make her go to accomplish something that is very important to her, more important than her fear and hatred of confronting her demons. Irony sticks. Irony is conflict inflicted by method of laughing gas.

So we got the NORTH and SOUTH opposing each other; take a look over your right shoulder to the EAST. Venus the Morningstar is your guide. So our next important bearing: Love. Love is important since you need conflict for your Conflict, and nothing conflicts Conflict more than Love. (One of those ironic things again.) Clearly if you’re writing a romance, love is a main bearing. Make it big, make it count, and make it believable. We all need the Big 3: Faith, Hope, and Love, but most of all Love. John said it first; then the other John made a song about it. Notice, though, Love is not the sole focus of your story, nor the biggest focus—but it does shine the brightest.

Now look WEST, young man, look WEST. What good is the WEST? Why the ending, of course. We all admire the perfect sunset, and though it may be the same sun, no two are the same. The same is true of your happily ever after. Yes, it’s romance; yes, it’s a happy ending; yes, there are a 100 Regencies published a year—but your Happily Ever After is just as beautiful, just as unique as the thousand other sunsets across the world. Someone will enjoy seeing it; someone will be moved by it; someone will even remember it forever. And the thing about sunsets is you never get tired of seeing them and marveling at how beautiful they are—and how at peace with the world they make us feel. Write your happy ending; do it to make the world a little sweeter.

All right. Got your bearings now? Have you found your characters and goals? Is the SOUTH rising again? (Lisa, Sin, get your minds out of the gutter.) Have you put on that Beatles CD and a little song in your heart? Then start cracking toward that Happy Ending, mates. Head West to your destination.

What do you guys think? Any important headings I should have focused on instead? Anyone else dallied in filing their taxes like I did and are running to the post office after work like a chicken with its head cut off? Anyone else able to orientate themselves with a compass? (Me, I use the sun rather than magnets.)

I watched it all float in front of my eyes. Memories not so distant and years ago, reminding me of where I’d been and where I was yet to go. Stuck with you just like a shadow, following you wherever you may roam. I couldn’t get away. I couldn’t run fast enough. Hide away until they floated by. I couldn’t deny them. No matter how far I tried to shove them down in that deep dark corner of my heart, they’re always lurking. Haunting you like your long lost conscience. Whispering. Taunting. Making you out of your mind as you try to lie down to sleep. There was no rest to be found. Closure was something of a dream- an afterthought, something I wanted to obtain but never found a way.

There is no denying it. Memories are your own. You can’t run. You have to face them. Eventually.

There’s nothing like reminiscing about days passed. I mean, memories are what keep you going when you’re stuck in a rut. They make you laugh. They make you cry. They bring back feelings you wish you could forget and the emotions you wished you still had. There is something about memories that if you didn’t have them, you’d be empty inside even when you think you’d be better off.

I’m sure this comes as no surprise to most of you, that I wasn’t always a pirate. Being a pirate is just something that happens. I didn’t fall off the turnip truck as one. I didn’t thumb my way across the world. I didn’t swim across the seven seas and come out of the water all Bond girl-ish with perfect hair and in a white swimsuit with no nipples showing. (Because let’s face it wenches and pirates, you wear white in the water and it turns see-through. And yes I know this to be a fact.) It’s all the experiences along the way that turn you into a pirate. A pirate of your own life.

I use memories in my writing. Sometimes it’s just a glimmer of things that have happened, conversations gone haywire, situations gone bad. Fun times. Crazy times. Use rough outlines of my favorite girlfriends for secondary characters. For me, it makes it fun to write. Besides, who hasn’t thought about the time someone burned you and you couldn’t think of something to say until two days after? It’s all about rewriting it to get your revenge. It’s about reliving a dream you always wanted to share. A life you always wanted but could never have. Taking the chances through a character and forgoing the consequences. Seeing how much they can take before they break. Or you. Depends on the memory.

Memory writing can be tough. It can also be like therapy. We’ve talked about that on the ship before so I’m not going into it again. A good example of writing from memories can be writing high school scenes with your characters. Everyone has a high school memory they’d like to tweak. Rewrite. Fix for the better. But for me, it’s like writing sex. Sex is hard to write. Hands down. I can write torture. I can write blood dripping from the edge of a bathtub. I can write evil bad guys- murder in their eyes, cruel smiles twisted on their lips, without a problem. But writing a sex scene is sheer agony. I spend most of my time while writing a sex scene running through my head (this goes here, that goes there, insert here, do this, touch that) it’s completely nerve wracking. I suppose for me, it’s like that first time together. It’s supposed to be this beautiful moment, and really it ends up being this massive clus– *ahem* mess where you bump heads right as your about to have that sweet moment. It ruins it.

I have no problem with people reading what I write. No. I couldn’t care less if someone reads a sex scene I wrote where it’s reverse cowgirl and she’s waving the cowboy hat in the air like she’s in the rodeo. It’s the intimacy of the scene between me and my reader. It’s like being a voyeur in my own world. Mostly because you write what you know. So when I write sex, it feels like I’m spilling the dirty details of my bedroom romps. I’m not… really. To me, writing certain things reminds me of memories whether they are or not. And sex happens to be one of those memory things that no matter how hard you try to stray from experience, you end up writing exactly how it goes in your mind. Except you make it a little more… perfect.

So I can’t be the only one. Spill it pirates and wenches. Have you ever had a memory that you put into book form? For readers, have you ever read a book that mirrored something that happened in your life or something like it? Care to share?