Not quite a year ago, I boarded the Romance Writer’s Revenge. I felt apprehensive, but excited to embark on a new journey with a group of ladies who shared my dream. They welcomed me with open arms and in a course of a few months; I became a better writer because of their influence. It is with a tear in my eye and a tug of my heart that today I am saying goodbye to this fine sea worthy vessel.

*Raising my cup of rum high in the air*

May your words flow in an effortless stream onto the paper and in translation bring a sigh from the reader’s lips.

THIS JUST IN….BO’SUN TERRIO IS HIJACKING THIS BLOG

I couldn’t let you leave without giving you a present.  So this is from me.

Haverhill Ohio is a speck on the map, if you blink once while driving through you’ll miss the entire town. There is no stop light, only a post office and a church situated in a wide place in the road. It’s a flat rural town located on the banks of the Ohio River. A two-lane road divides the town. On each side of the road is flat farmland, often dotted with a lone John Deere tractor driven by a local farmer hoping for a decent planting season. The town’s economy is poor, only driven by a local coke plant, and a chemical plant that has recently announced that it will close in a matter of months.

I grew up in this town. I often wonder why I stayed when there is so much more in any direction over the county line. I live here because I was raised in this town with strong family values, and I have the desire to raise my son in the same atmosphere. The only problem is that sometimes I feel as if the world is moving on without me.

Most people who live here view life outside the town on a TV screen, and we all know how skewed that vision can be. With reality shows setting the precedence in the Neilson Ratings, people have a warped view of the world and reality.

I can remember the first eye roll I received when I told someone I was writing a book. I’ve discovered it was the first but definitely not the last. The majority of my friends and family know I am a writer. They have always been supportive of my writing, but I’ve found a select few beyond that circle, who think I’m wasting my time. They think I have a very weird hobby. I don’t have a problem with this line of thinking; life is too short to be hung up on perceptions.

My ambition is to connect with people in small towns just like mine. I want to make a difference in their lives by allowing them to relate to the characters that I create. Isn’t writing about transformation? We develop characters who overcome conflicts throughout the course of our stories.

If we can fix a character, can’t we fix a reader too?

Can we give a reader hope that if they make a different choice, their life can be better? Can we help them see that even in extenuating circumstances love can persevere? Can we show them through words that they aren’t alone, that people in this world are hurting just as they are, and sometimes for the same reasons? Sometimes the only happy ending a person receives is the one they experience through reading.

I want to provide a happy ending for someone struggling to find a light at the end of a dark tunnel. I want to give the gift of an escape after a long stressful day. I want to whisk someone away from a loveless marriage and give him or her hope that love is still alive in the hearts of those willing to take a risk. But most important, I want them to enjoy the journey.

I know I’m highly optimistic, but isn’t that part of the foundation for a successful writer? It’s always been my nature to fix a person, which explains my present career. However, this time it’s different. Instead of fixing individuals through the science of medicine, I want to make a difference through words in a story.

I may have a rural existence, but my vision stretches far beyond the confines of a small town.

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Romeo and Juliet

Today is all about fun, relaxation, and girl time. Well almost…

I’m not so sure watching greyhounds race down a dirt track is the epitome of fun, but I’m not at work, and I have a drink in my hand.

By now, you are all probably wondering how this is related to writing- brace yourselves for the big reveal.

Today is not only a girl’s day out, but also research for my WIP. I’m planning a gambling scene in Picture This (tentative title). Today I am a sponge, all pertinent action, such as placing a bet, reaction of winners, and dirty little jokes told throughout the day will be filed away for future reference.

It doesn’t matter where you are during your free time, everything around you can be resourceful. I always carry a mini notebook and a pen at all times. I have recorded scenes at ballgames, church picnics, shopping malls, and even the grocery store. I think like a writer no matter what role I am currently playing in my life. Some of the funniest dialogue, and situations come from places you least expect.

Saturday night our family is attending the WWE Wrestlemania. It’s an early birthday present for my eight-year-old son. I am not a fan of wrestling, but have you ever suffered through anything for the sake of your child’s pleasure? I’m not planning a wrestling scene in my WIP, but part of the story takes place in redneck territory so I’m going armed with pen and notebook. I may get a lot of curious looks, and harassment from my son, but if life gives you a ring of wrestlers, wield a pen and record the action.

I won’t be around to comment today but I’ll catch up by late afternoon.

Cheers!

This past Saturday I attended my first writer’s conference sponsored by the local chapter of RWA. I asked a friend to attend the conference and our plans were all set. Two days before the conference my friend discovered she was on call, and had to cancel. I can relate to Sin’s cold feet. During the 45-minute drive to the conference, I almost turned around four times.

I am so glad that I didn’t.

I attended workshops held by an agent, two publishers, two published authors, and an ATF agent. A lot of the information I already knew, but each workshop gave me important insight into the world of writing from a perspective I’ve never viewed before. The speakers discussed everything from writing a query letter to deciding the genre to classify your WIP.

The ATF agent discussed weapons, and the ATF’s relationship with other law enforcement divisions such as the FBI, CIA, and Homeland Security. Overall it was very informative, and he provides a future resource if I ever need further research for my WIP.

During the workshop writers pitched their WIP to the agent and publishers. They also offered an open critique of any writer’s work who wished to participate. It’s a very unnerving experience to sit in a room of 45 writers and have the first two paragraphs of your WIP read in front of an agent and two publishers. I received some compliments and very helpful constructive criticism, so I was very pleased.

Raelene Gorlinski from Ellora’s Cave Publishing presented the most entertaining workshop of the day. She shared some of the terms for anatomy in submissions she had received. Of course since it’s Friday, and I am such an enlightening individual, I’ll list a few for your enjoyment. I warn you to swallow all liquids and empty your bladder before continuing.

Icky Euphemisms for Vagina and Clitoris

1. aching oozing entrance

2. southernmost slippery lips

3. inflamed seeping tunnel

4. contracting crease

5. bloated pulsing bud

6. constricted, battered hole

And my personal favorite

7.drenched, hair topped cavern

Penis

1. buffeting brick of a bat

2. engorged cylindrical monster

3. object of her oral affection

4. near-spurting spear

5. torturous tube

6. ready to pop pole

And my personal favorite

7. albino boa constrictor

Ms. Gorlinski also shared other important information such as never use words like inflamed or bloated to describe sex organs-those are unpleasant not sexy. Dead bodies are bloated.

For historical writers it is proper to use the word cunny for female anatomy because it was appropriate for the time period. Marnee, you can thank me later. I know this saved you hours of research.

I thought I’d share some acceptable terms for male and female anatomy according to EC guidelines that sounded a little odd to me, but then again, I don’t get out much.

Appropriate Anatomy Terms According to EC Guidelines

Vulva- quim and woman flesh.

Scrotum- ballocks, and cod

Penis- tumescence, harness( woah Nellie!), blade

Clitoris- bundle, button, pearl

 Terms That Are Less Than Endearing (Terms not to call your Heroine or Hero.)

Angel puss

Sugar booger

Puddle pooper

Fudgey

And never use “little” when referring to anything about a man. (Go figure) 

I really hate to end the wealth of important information I’ve learned, but I don’t want to over load your reservoir of prolific terms.

Have a great weekend.

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.-Abraham Lincoln

On Sunday morning, one of my coworkers passed away from a sudden illness. Grant Johnson was 45 years old, and is survived by his wife Sharla, and his five-year-old son Carson. Grant and Sharla adopted Carson four years ago. I vividly remember the day they brought Carson to meet all of us. I’ve never witnessed any parents more proud of a baby.

Through Grant’s death I discovered he has a blog. I quickly found a nearby computer, logged on to his blog, and found a wealth of treasured memories. At his wake, I spoke with his wife, and learned of his aspiration to write a novel. I passed him in the hallway everyday at work, and all we ever shared was a superficial greeting. I missed an opportunity to share our interest in writing. I am aquainted with so many individuals on a superficial level, I found it so distressing that it took Grant’s death to truly appreciate him as a person. I’ve learned a valuable lesson this week- take time to know the person behind the face. 

If you visit Grant’s blog you’ll find he had so much potential as a writer. He leaves behind an epitaph of what an inspirational life he led as a father, Christian, and husband.

I’m dedicating this blog to Grant’s memory. I want to thank him for the wonderful example he leaves for all of us who are parents and writers. The title of his blog is Give Me Boldness, which tells me that he dreamed of so much more.

When you sit down to write today take a moment to appreciate life, and the gift of your talent and creativeness. I’ve learned through Grant’s death that times like these are not the only reason to hug your loved ones, do it everyday, for life is much too short.

Grant Johnson 1962-2008

I started writing by accident. I have commented before that I loved American Literature and English in high school. I had a wonderful teacher in both subjects who encouraged me with every assignment to do something more with my writing. If I ever publish she will be mentioned in my acknowledgements.

Writing has changed my life. I’m not the same person I was three years ago. I’m more confident, not only as a writer, but as a person. Discovering I could write was like polishing a diamond in the rough. With every word I write, I learn more. Every day I write I am a little more improved than the day before. I’ll admit, before I started writing, I didn’t use my brain to create anything. The only creative aspect of my life involved gardening. Writing opened up a new world for me, it allowed me to express myself, and at the time, I was starving for an outlet.

Writing empowers me. It makes me believe that I can do something beyond my day job; it serves as my light at the end of the tunnel.

More often times than not my writing relieves stress. I can vent frustration, sexual tension, and sadness through my characters. Writing serves as therapy for my soul.

Writing also opens new doors for me. I’ve met other writers, and made many lifetime friends. I’ve found critique and blog partners, and learned more than I ever thought possible about the kind of writer I can be with hard work and determination.

Writing gives me something to call my own. It’s a source of pleasure for me that I create without any help from an outside source. It’s a solo act, in which I direct, write and star.

In my day career I depend on a department director to hand down my orders, when I slip into my desk chair at home I am the CEO in charge. I make and execute the rules, and most of the time I do so in my pajamas.

Writing makes me more aware as a reader. I appreciate books more. My taste in reading has changed since I’ve become a writer. Some authors I appreciate even more and some I see in a whole new light. I remember the first book I read after I started writing. I dissected it like a pig in an anatomy class. Reading is one of the most beneficial resources I have as a writer.

I view the world through a writer’s eyes. I look at everyday life as a potential for a scene in a story. I listen to conversations. I watch people and their gestures, emotions, and reactions. I file observations of fashion, hairstyles, and automobiles in a mental file for later reference. The check out girl at Wal-Mart may be the next great heroine in my WIP.

So maybe I’m grasping for straws, but its Friday, so go with it.