It’s summer and those of us with skin pigmentation (read: not me) have been working on their tans.  If you live somewhere that isn’t 1934848457 degrees (read: not here), you might be spending your summer months outside.  If not, maybe you’re one of the folks who spends some time at the tanning booth (again, read: not me).

One things for sure:  I don’t care how these fellows got their tan lines.  I’m just happy they went to the trouble.

What do you think?

Happy hot summer days!

Oh, and here’s one for Q.  Just in case he stops by.

Today is a special day on the ship. I asked if some of the pirates of the RWR would be willing to share stories of real daddies who have made us the pirates we are today. You could talk about celeb daddies who have inspired you, or your own father or dear husband.

*No hotties dripping in sweat, minus their clothes and a blatant look in their eye as they look upon you. Sorry. We’ll be back to that next Sunday.*

*blinking* Oooh. I dunno HOW that got here.

hehehehehe Hello hotties, I think all five of you will do for my new harem.

Santa: “Celebrity Dad: Hugh  Jackman. I think there’s a pic of him at the beach with his daughter. Adorable. Abs on him aren’t too bad either!”

“My Dad: My father was a bear of a man who was gruff on the outside but with a teddy bear soul. He’s gone almost fifteen years now but I still can feel the palm of his hand as he would cup my check and call me his ‘Sandarella’.  He considered himself a guide for the young guys just starting out who delivered product to us. He never turned down a kid starting out in the business who he thought should be given a shot. They don’t make him like that anymore.”

“My Darling Husband is a marvelous father to our kids. He had a marvelous model in his own father who was a kind, giving giant of a man. My kids’ father greets his daughters with a ‘Hello, beautiful.’ every morning and a resounding ‘What’s up, buddy?’ to our son. My eldest is at an age where hugs are not given as freely as they once were but I tell him to hold steady. It’ll be cool to be hugged and kissed by your dad….just in time for our youngest to scoot away.”

J Perry Stone: “Celeb:  Will Smith.  He shows his children the fabulous example of putting his marriage first.  This makes great up and coming husbands as well as up and coming wives who learn not to settle for anything less from their men.”

“My dad:  At nearly 70, my dad is still 16.  There isn’t anything he won’t try.  Today he tried to master one of those sand-skimmer boards that glides along shallow surf.  At 6’2″ the board doesn’t really skim when he jumps on it.  He came limping back to the chairs with sand in his beard and blood on his knee.   And laughing.  What’s more, my dad is a renaissance man.  He can conduct a full orchestra and choir (which he did for 30 years), build houses and cars, and laugh at fart jokes while wearing a full tux with tails.”

“My husband:  He listens, he never repeats mistakes, he puts the kids to bed every night (checking teeth and reading stories), he always keeps his promises, he makes elaborate breakfasts for the kids on the weekends, he keeps kids away from their mama when she’s about to go nutball with their bickering, and he puts Will Smith to shame.”

Hellion: “I love my Daddy because he’s smart, handsome, capable, and witty as hell. When I was little, he would take me for rides on his motorcycle and we’d go tearing up and down the pasture, having a grand old time; he also took me fishing and he taught me to swim. He could make anything he needed–and was able to make things I’d need for projects as well; and he could also cook and clean up after himself. I get my sarcastic wit from him–and one of my favorite witticisms was him explaining to my aunt what the bead necklaces hanging off my rearview mirror meant. He claimed they were my speedometer for my car. If they were trailing toward the backseat, I was driving too fast. If they were hitting the windshield, I was braking too fast. And if they were spinning in a circle, she better be seat belted because I clearly didn’t know where I was going. (This was a response off the fly, when he was 85 or 86…He’s only gotten more smart-alecky as time passes.)”

Sin:

“Dear daddy,

I get my ninja skills from you. We both know I could best you in a match of ultimate awesomeness. Even the flight attendant on the plane agreed. Obviously, he knew what he was talking about. He saw potential in my ninjaness. Well, among other things.

While you have lost the ninja debate, you’re a great man who I look up to and defer to your magic skills of remodel and fix-it abilities. While you spent most of my childhood working to make sure we had a roof over our head and food to eat, you took time out of relaxing in front of the TV to teach me how to pitch a softball. How to shoot the hook shot and the three and dribble like a guard in the pros. You encouraged my love of sports even though I was (and still am) clumsy, awkward and so far from graceful there should be a youtube channel of my antics. You drove me to challenge myself and continue working on my game, all the while you were teaching me the real lesson in life. You don’t have to be born with the talent to shine, hard work, determination and stubbornness can get you there too. You just have to fight for what you want and don’t get discouraged when you fall short. Pick yourself up and try again.

And I’ve fallen off ponies. And fallen off the roof in my attempt to fly. And fallen down as I tried to jump on the merry-go-round. Fallen out of trees. Been down, discouraged and ready to give up. Broken bones and skinned knees and burned the skin from my flesh (not to mention the misfortunate of sharp objects operating near me) and all the scars I have are to show that you taught me never give up. I’ll never give up.

So, in honor of all you’ve give me, I picked up something real nice for you daddy. A special, “That’s about enough of that.” for Father’s day. *grin* I knew you’d like it.

Happy Father’s day, daddy. I love you (I know you just grimaced- get over it.)

Your Monkey, Toots.

Chance: “Dad was a handsome man and sent several of my girlfriends into a bit of a swoon. He also was the master of the colloquialism. ”Stand on my head and spit nickels” was a favorite of his and he actually did it while teasing my niece one day. She never forgot it! Another was “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick” … ”We’re off like a herd of turtles!” And of course, “I danced with a girl like that once.”

“He’s gone now, three years on the Fourth of July. One of the last things he said to my mom involved their meeting and how it changed his life. “Made all the difference.” Not a bad memory to leave my Mom. I sure miss him.”

Marnee: My dad – My dad passed away five years ago, a month after my wedding.  Lung cancer, an unapologetic smoker all his life.  My mom said when she cleaned out his truck, she found massive amounts of pain meds–Tylenol, ibuprofen, prescription stuff that she isn’t sure how he got his hands on it.  We’re pretty sure he knew what was coming and was trying his damnedest to stay out of the hospital as long as he could.

I remember the month before my wedding, asking him if he had a preference for a father/daughter dance song.  I fully expected him to let me choose as that was kind of his way.  But he said he’d get back to me and a week later, called me across the state to say he’d chosen “In My Daughter’s Eyes” by Martina McBride.  I thought it was sweet, but only later did I realize he might have been saying something to me.  I miss him.

“In my daughter’s eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she’ll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I’m gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I’ll be there
In my daughter’s eyes.”

My hubby – I haven’t got enough words to say how impressed I am with the kind of father my husband has become.  Just tonight he fetched water for a preschooler trying to drag out bedtime, helped burb an infant whose mom’s feet were tiring out, and watered plants with a boy who’s desperately trying to feel important in a house overrun with a new baby, even though it would have been much faster to water them alone.  He loves us all every day and he humbles me.

So tell us pirates of the RWR all about a special man in your life or you can just talk about what hottie you’d like to see next week. I’m all about some naked hottieness.

You know… blow stuff up.
A few years ago when Hells and I started working towards our writing goals together, I quickly realized she is a movie person. Hells can remember all these quotes and scenes and refer back to them when she’s writing or making a point. Mr. and Mrs. Smith came out and Hells said several things about this movie, to which I ignored because I’m not much of a movie person (much like I’m not much of a suspense/mystery/horror novel reader). Finally she brought it over for me to watch. “You have to see this movie. You have to.”
We watched the movie and I can see why she likes it. The quips between the heroine and hero are hilarious. The action is fantastical. It’s overall a great movie and sparks a lot of writing imagination. So today, we’re going to celebrate Mr. and Mrs. Smith and tell me who your favorite heroine and hero are in movie. (Doesn’t matter if it’s animated or regular.)

There is nothing more- um… -gratifying, satisfying, hilarious than belonging to a group of fabulous brilliant, talented, filthy pirates who enjoy a nice tall drink of dark, chiseled, wonderfully proportionate man. I’m a fan of man candy. Nice to look at, wouldn’t necessarily want to hold or have a conversation with him while I’m blatantly drooling all over him, but I’m too polite to put duct tape over his beautiful lips while I imagine what else he could use them for.

So, Friday, Hells in her infinite man wisdom (of looking at man candy, of course) gave us a little something to get us pirates through the day. And I will share, only because I think it’s SINFUL to keep something like this to myself. Well, I already had my way with him in my own little world, so now I’ll share.  (Plus, DRD is mad that we’re passing around pics of her boyfriend, so all the more reason to-) Enjoy!

Love those dreamy sex eyes… *ducking an empty rum bottle* That’s not nice, Donna. I did give him back when I was through!

Thank you. Thank you. *taking a curtsy* I’ll be here all month. Wait, I probably shouldn’t tell you that so you’ll come back.

From all of the pirates to you…  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  We’re thankful you’ve hung with us for another year.  Enjoy your feasting and have a safe and happy day!

 

Okay, so we all know how I love the sci-fi dudes. And Kate Beckinsale. I can’t deny she’s hot in skin tight black vinyl. For my last edition of the hotties blog for the month of October, GPS (If you don’t know, my uber awesome best friend, the Grand Pixy Sita) and I have derived some of the hotties of the hot sci-fi dudes to ever step into a bad paranormal situation.

::Shoves Sin out of the way:: Ok… and don’t forget the uber bad ass Ryan Reynolds and his contributions to the world of Blade. I mean who really thought he’d come back and save the day?  I sure didn’t.. but I tell you he can come and save my endangered panties anytime.

*shoves GPS out of the way* A few years ago, I made the GPS go with me to a little movie by the name, “Underworld”. Simply because I can’t NOT see a commercial for a hot vamp movie about the war between the Lycans and the Vamps. Seriously. If a vamp ever worked for Fredericks of Hollywood, Kate could definitely pull it off. Jeez.  Q, I want you to remember this moment. I posted eye candy just for you. Well, and Sita too. Because she’s got this thing about boobs.

Now, onward about the Lycans and Vamps.

The war between the Lycans and Vamps is quite vicious with one helluva background story. Through three movies (Underworld, Underworld Evolution and Underworld Rise of the Lycans) we see the story unfold between these two Underworld sects. The leader of the Lycans, Lucian, is so fine, I have dreams of actually being his alpha bitch one. Not to mention, Michael Sheen is soon to be playing the most devious of vamps in the Volturi clan in the upcoming movie, New Moon. Aro. Deadly, red eyed, evil future seeing vamp. You know I’m down.

::shoves Sin out of the way again:: And then we segue into the best vampires of all vampires… Angel… better known in the real world as David Boreanaz. And it doesn’t matter that the plots were a bit weak and the special effects were super cheesy. What was super important was seeing David Boreanaz half naked, wet, and in skin tight leather pants

And last but not least… we have the Chuck Norris for poor people… MacGyver… or for those of us who are hard core sci fi fan, Col. Jack O’Neill. I really can’t say enough about Jack.. he was funny and in charge and while he may be older, I could handle him tying me up with tube socks and duct tape and having his merry intergalactic way with me any day of the week..

Sweet jesus, every time I turn around the picture goes inactive. Sorry, no pic of Richard Dean Anderson today. Apparently Photobucket and WordPress don’t agree with him being hot.

Now, who is your favorite sci-fi/fantasy dude or dudette?

Blog AKA: Now where did I put my nerd?

I couldn’t have lost him already. Where was he?

“What is she doing? She’s lost her ever loony mind tearing up my ship like this!”

I threw the feather boa over the basket and it drifted away in the wind. I shoved my hair out of my face and shot a look down below. “I heard that, Hells!”

“I’ve never know you to lose a man, Sin!” Lisa snickered as she stroked the cannon. “Losing the magic touch?”

“Bite me!”

“That’s what Ranger said last night!”

I made a rude sound in the back of my throat and dove head first into my trunk. Little bits of satin, lace and spandex flew over my head as I looked for the one thing I was missing.

And not my mind, if that’s what you were thinking.

As suddenly as I misplaced it, I found it. This wonderfully bright orange sticky note crumpled in the very bottom of my trunk. I whipped it out and squealed. The pirates below groaned and covered their ears. Haters.

“That’s what you’ve been looking for? You gotta be kidding me. It’s not even a man!” Bo’sun crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. “Hells, you pulled me away from hottie auditions to watch this clown look for a piece of paper? Un-freakin-believeable.”

“Hey!” I grabbed for the ropes and slid down to the deck. “Finding hot nerds is like finding a unicorn. It takes a lot of dedication and hard work.”

“And you needed a piece of paper for that?” Lisa snorted, “Wench, please. I’ve seen you eye a nerd at 200 yards. You don’t need a piece of paper for nothing.”

Marnee ripped the piece of paper from my fingers and turned her back to the rest of us. “Wow. These suck.”

Hal laughed, “Whoa, that was cold, Marn. Lemme see.”

They both laughed. The rest of the pirates gathered around.

“You suckat this.” Hellie patted me on the head. “But that’s okay. Practice makes perfect when it comes to eye candy.”

“Yeah. Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Okay, now that I’ve put some nerds out there, what nerds did I miss this fine nerd hottie Sunday?

 

Happy second anniversary RWR. I have enjoyed every minute aboard the ship and have wonderful friends because of this opportunity. Now enjoy this little show of affection because it’s not going to happen again for another year.

*****

I sighed. “Really? Dishing on the NYT life? You make it sound like I’m high society now.”

Sita crossed her legs and leaned forward. “At least pretend for me that you have some class now that you are famous.”

“I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear that only because I am not famous, Sita!”

“You’re so in denial. Have you been to your fan websites? Every day there is at least a dozen new fan fiction stories posted about Ryla, Cass and Fallon. You’ve hit the big time.”

“Gah, it’s like talking to a brick wall with you.”

“Pot meet kettle.”

I flipped her off and crossed my arms over my eyes.

Booty Magazine (Sita): Nika, so great of you to have agreed to this interview! I hear you’re big on music. So first things first, what’s playing on your iPod right now?

Nika Riley: “Cold” by Crossfade. It’s Kiki Michaels, my current heroine in Double Vision, theme song.

Booty Magazine (Sita): Does music play a pretty big role in your writing?

Nika Riley: I would say yes. Music is the key to my creative well being. All of my characters have theme songs. All of my scenes have individual playlists even if it’s only a few songs. Music is my Zen.

Booty Magazine (Sita): I heard through the grapevine that you majored in journalism in college. Is that what pushed you to become a fiction writer?

I snorted. “You gotta be kidding me. You’re not actually going to put that as an actual question in the magazine, are you?”

“You knew what you were getting yourself into asking me to interview you. Deal with it.”

I took a deep breath and tried to settle into my writer persona. I looked over at Sita and offered the biggest fakest smile I had ever accomplished. It made my face hurt. “I had a best friend I wanted to kill and the only way to do it legally was to write her in a book and off her.”

“Gimme a break. You love me.”

“That’s debatable.”

“Just answer the question.”

Okay. I was a big girl. I could do this.

Nika Riley: “I’ve always enjoyed fiction. I was consumed with the reading bug early on in my life and since I’m prone to daydreaming there was always a story or two running wild inside my head. I suppose it was only a matter of time before I realized maybe I was supposed to be writing fiction instead of just reading it.”

“You effectively avoided the journalism question.”

“I plead the fifth.”

“You can’t plead the fifth in an interview. It’s unconstitutional.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): You didn’t start truly working on At First Taste, the first book in your Blood Wars series, until just a couple of years ago. Did you work on other fictional outlets before you started this series? Anything gathering cobwebs underneath your bed?

Sita grinned like the Cheshire cat.

“That was below the belt, babe.”

“Only because you don’t want to admit you’ve been writing since you were a teenager.”

“Ms. Yount’s English class crap doesn’t count.”

“I’m not talking about that.”

I had a bad taste in my mouth. I was in a hell of my own creation.

Nika Riley: “Yeah, AT FIRST TASTE was a fluke accident while I was working on a fan fiction story at Halloween. I heard my heroine, Ryla, telling me about her life as a captive when she was a kid and couldn’t get it out of my mind. Obviously that story line wasn’t suited for a fan fiction story involving bounty hunters.”

“While, everyone writer has a novel underneath their bed gathering cobwebs, I have two. Three years ago, I got this overwhelming urge to pick up a pen and write. I’d just finished reading, ELEVEN ON TOP by Janet Evanovich, and was determined to write something between the heroine, Stephanie, and the reluctant hero, Ranger that suited me.  One little chapter turned into about 80,000 words. From there, I wrote about 25 stories under a fan fiction pseudonym.”

“You didn’t talk about the sci-fi fantasy book you were working on out of high school. Dude, it was classic.”

“Classic crap. Next time we have a bonfire, it’s getting pitched in.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): Interesting. So, I’ve heard rumors of an upcoming tour.

I leaned up from the hammock. “How did you hear about that?”

She shrugged, “I read it on a fan site.”

I blew out a breath and laid back down. There was no such thing as privacy anymore.

Nika Riley: “The tour dates were finalized this week and I couldn’t be more excited! Some of my fans have been with me since my first fan fiction chapter. It’s truly a blessing to have such great fans.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): Talk to me a little about how each of these places inspired your books. What is it about Phoenix that captures At First Taste? I got a preview look at Double Vision and was pleasantly surprised to learn the story has been set in Columbia, Missouri. Any particular reason for setting the story in a small town?

Nika Riley: “It’s more character driven moments that capture each location for me than plot oriented. In DOUBLE VISION, the story is based off a family- three of the Michaels’ sisters in particular- who were born and raised in Missouri. I’m from Missouri, grew up loving everything about country life but always wanting to get out of the small town. Kiki grew up knowing she didn’t want to stay and was going to get out as soon as she was old enough. Kady grew up knowing she was being groomed for something more than a sedate country life and Sadie spent her time daydreaming in hay fields never thinking about more than one day at a time. The sisters are so very different from one another and Missouri is a state that is in constant change from the seasons, the beauty of the first thaw in the spring, the blistering humid summers, the breathtaking colors of autumn, and the crisp arctic air as snow falls gently from the sky in winter. I just wanted that to reflect in their personalities.”

“In AT FIRST TASTE, the main thing I wanted to capture the complete antithesis of change. These characters are Otherworldly, unchanging for centuries, customs old and barbaric. Cold, unfeeling, impersonal. I wanted to convey all this through imagery of barren landscape from harsh temperatures and the only way I could do that and still keep a little piece of reality was to mesh it with my idea of the desert. It’s one of the most beautiful places in the world without being ostentatious and that’s the way the Otherworlders live.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): You have a bit of a mysterious and hard to crack reputation. What the readers of Booty magazine really want to know is what kind of life are you out living in-between writing these bestsellers that gives your story such a real feel?

“Sita,” I warned. “I told you…”

“Just go with it.”

Nika Riley: “A writer’s life is mostly spent in solitude with your thoughts to keep you company. The only way to actually write about life is to live some in-between all those nights spent staring at the computer screen.”

“I can’t believe you expected me to answer that.”

“Miracles do happen.”

“Not in this lifetime.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): Since it’s obvious you’re going to keep your air of mystery, how about throwing your readers a bone. Do any of your personal preferences translate to your characters? Do you write the romance you have in your life or the romance you’d like to have in your life?

“Oh hell.”

“Oh, c’mon, it’s hardly a taboo subject.”

Nika Riley: “A good friend once told me: Write what you know. Write what you love. And write about who you loved and lost. Writing relationships, regardless if it is a romantic relationship or purely physical, is mostly about role playing inside your head. It’s not about being the school teacher to the student, or client to the stripper, or captive to the pirate. It’s about that brief second in time; you have the opportunity to completely fulfill everything you’ve ever wanted with a few brief strokes of your fingertips on the right keys. What I enjoy is taking advantage of that opportunity not necessarily because it’s a reflection of what I’ve had or what I would want, but simply because I enjoy pushing buttons.”

Sita sat the paper down and laughed. “I hate when you avoid questions.”

I gave her a look that said I really didn’t care. “What did you just tell me at the beginning of this interview? Deal with it?”

“I really dislike when you toss my own words back in my face.”

I shrugged. “Learned from the best, babe.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): Don’t we all like to push some buttons. Talk to us about the difference between emotional mindsets of the Double series and Blood Wars. You write characters that definitely aren’t afraid to push some boundaries.

“That was sweet, Sita. Did you just give me a compliment?”

“I can play nice sometimes. Unlike some people I know.” She gave me a look.

I flipped her off. “I wake up in the morning thinking about playing nice. I get an A for effort, right?”

“Keep dreaming.”

Nika Riley: “Each series is different for me emotionally. Nothing about Otherworlders are human like because they don’t feel the same sort of emotional attachment to one another. Writing that separation is a challenge because being human myself, emotional attachment is unavoidable no matter how hard you try. So while writing the Blood Wars books, it’s a constant battle for what I want to write, and what needs to make it to the page. When you flip the coin back to Kiki and Sadie, I have the opportunity to write about emotional redemption and second chances. Everyone deserves a chance to right an emotional wrong in the past and a guilty conscience is a great motivator.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): Alright, I’m dying to know more about Sadie and Kiki in Double Vision. I think all the readers will want to know more about the dynamics between them.

Nika Riley: “Sadie and Kiki have a unique relationship as sisters. When I first started the Double series, the story was of Sadie, a sister dealing with the gift of precognition during her REM cycle. It gave me the opportunity to write about a heroine who had completely shut herself off from any sort of emotional life for fear she was psychotic. In the beginning of DOUBLE VISION, you’re faced with her day to day life and how she copes with it as her imaginary world comes crashing down.”

“I had a parallel story I was working on that involved a thief by the name of Kiki, who was looking to go legit and live a normal, respectable, somewhat law abiding life. Once DOUBLE VISION evolved more in my head, I threw Sadie and Kiki together as sisters knowing that they could offset and keep each other from going past redeemable characters. Kiki keeps Sadie grounded in a life where she sees nothing but death. Sadie keeps Kiki from becoming too cynical and distant about living life.”

Sita looked up at me. “Why does Sadie and Kiki’s relationship sound a bit like ours?”

I grinned. “When you can’t make it up, borrow from real life.”

“Great. I don’t know whether to be flattered or pissed that I didn’t realize it when I was reading the book.”

I laughed, “That means I’m an awesome story teller.”

“Whatever.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): Well I must say Nika, you’ve certainly given your fans something to look forward to. I personally, can’t wait to get my grubby hands on your next installment of your Blood Wars series. Can you reveal the title?

Nika Riley: “The second book in the Blood Wars series has yet to be released yet; but in honor of my first interview- SECOND NATURE.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): Second Nature, I like it. Can you tell us how many books you have planned for the Blood Wars?

Nika Riley: “As of right now, there are three planned books of the Blood Wars, with the option of three more depending on the sales.”

Booty Magazine (Sita): Then let’s drink to all six making it to the shelf! Look for Nika’s genre bending novel, Double Vision, coming out soon in a bookstore near you.

I want to thank you for granting us access to your wonderful ship here, RWR pirates and thank you to Nika for giving us a sneak peak at all things Nika. Until next time, this is Sita saying rock some ships, and steal some booty and raise the Jolly Roger- now where’s my rum?

Any questions for Ms. Nika Riley that you didn’t get answers for? Do you enjoy when an author writes two different genres or prefer when they stick to one thing and perfect it?

PS. I just want to say a huge thank you to my BFF in real life, Manda, for really bantering back and forth as if we were really doing an interview for a couple of days. I heart you, babycakes. Thanks for always believing in me no matter what the situation and making me buckle down and do this.

Now, someone turn up the music and let’s have us a party!

Coxswain hal [adjusts her feather boa and tiara, plops down onto the deck, and pouts] Of course, my interviewee is late. She stood me up, I just know it.

 

Marnee [sits down beside her and offers to share her rum.] I’m sure she’ll be here. She’s just running behind. The ship is hard to find sometimes – there was that storm and all last night. Maybe we drifted off course.

 

Cap’n Hellie: We did no such thing. I would never let us drift off course [she stumbles over and falls on top of Hal as the boat pitches]

 

Hal: Hey! Don’t break my tiara! I have to look pretty for my interview!

 

Sin: [snorting and throwing back the rest of her drink] Honey, she isn’t coming. Just face it, you got stood up. Chance! Where are more drinks?

 

Chance: [scurrying over, her face shiny with excitement, a pitcher of something blue and frothy in her hand] Okay, I got it. The perfect drink for losers who get stood up. It’s blue, it’s sad, it’s a little bitter, but a little sweet too.

 

[cups are being passed around, as the pirates toast Hal’s bad luck of getting stood up by her author to interview]

 

Cap’n Jack: [saunters onto the deck, re-tying his swashbuckler] Uh, were you pirates looking for some author chicky with brown hair? Cause I found one.

 

Hal: [lurches to her feet, desperately trying to straighten both her tiara and feather boa at the same time] Cameron! There you are! Where have you…..[narrows eyes at Jack, and then looks closer at Cameron with her smudged lipstick and mussed hair]. Wait a minute. You found the ship okay?

 

Cameron: Sure. You were right where you said you’d be.

 

Hellie: [jumping up] See! I told you I wouldn’t go off course! [spins to Jack] And you! You and I have some things to discuss, mister. I told you, you can’t just kidnap our guests. It sets a bad impression [lecture fades as Hellie grabs Jack by ear and drags him below to her cabin to continue, uh, reprimanding him. Yeah, that’s what she’s doing down there]

 

Cameron: [blows a kiss at Jack and looks a little forlorn that he’s gone.] Okay, so who’s doing this interview? And where can I get one of those drinks? I need to rehydrate.

 

Hal: [scurrying around, getting a drink for Cameron, generally gushing] Oh, I’m just so glad you’re here. I have all sorts of wonderful questions for you. I just love, and I mean LOVE, your new book. [crams drink in her hand] So Cam, oh, can I call you Cam? [barely waits for amused nod before rushing on]. Okay, Cam, first question, tell us about FALSE MOVE. I just loved it, I mean really, loved it.

 

Hellie: [watching Hal trip over herself, leans over to Sin] Do you think she was a cheerleader in high school?

 

Sin: Had to be. [slight shudder] She’s not going to break out the pom-poms is she?

 

Hellie: God, I hope not.

 

Hal: Shh! Let her answer!

 

Cameron: [looking around with a slightly ‘what have I gotten myself into’ look] Well, FALSE MOVE is a romantic thriller of sorts. It features a woman named Naomi who is forced to take matters into her own hands. When she’s told her CIA husband stole weapons and was selling them on the black market, she doesn’t believe it. But he’s dead, and she’s the only one left to clear his name. She spends six years undercover for the British as a black-market weapons facilitator, and after sacrificing so much, she’s to the point where she can hardly bring herself to care anymore. But she’s in too deep to get out, and when she finds the weapons up for auction in Belfast, she’s sure she’s found his killer, and this whole thing will be over.

 

Hal: [eyes wide] Wow. So she does it? Finds the killer and avenges her husband and lives happily ever after?

 

Cam: Uh, no. When she gets to Belfast, it’s her husband selling the weapons.

 

Hal: [gasping, eyes wide]. Holy crap! He wasn’t dead!

 

Cam: [grinning]. Nope. So that’s where the story starts. Naomi has to figure out who to trust and what’s real and what’s not, and of course, there’s lots of hot sex, and a few good torture scenes to balance it all out.

 

Hal: And you’re working on the sequel now, right?

 

Cam: Yes, featuring Josephine, a secondary character in FALSE MOVE. At the end of the novel, she goes to prison. So WHITE LIE, Josephine’s story, starts with her being moved to Spain. The Spanish government wants her to go undercover into a terrorist group to foil a bomb attack. She’s a prodigy with explosives, after all. And there’s this hot Spanish cop she’s stuck with. And she drives him nuts. He can’t decide if he should throttle her or…

 

Hal: Well, this is a romantic thriller after all. We know what the hot Spanish cop does to Josephine [sassy smile]. What’s his name? The cop?

 

Cam: Luken Ibarra. And he looks like Clive Owen, with that dark hair and brown eyes and a sexy accent. Mmmm.

 

Hal: Wow, he sounds hot.

 

Cam: Oh, he is. Luken is very hot. [takes a drink] Hmmm, this is a little odd tasting. It almost makes me sad to drink it.

 

Hal: Yeah, it’s the losers’ drink. Cause we thought you stood me up.

 

Cam: [gasp] Never! I would never get on a pirate’s bad side!

 

Hal: Well, since we were so late getting started, let’s see if the rest of the crew has any questions for you. How about it pirates? Any questions for Cam before she disappears with Jack again?

I love extra days off of my landlubber job. Columbus day is a wonderful excuse to take off an extra day to celebrate adventurers who’ve dared to defy gravity and countries to explore and conquer new horizons. Brad Pitt- ala Achilles in Troy- could conquer this horizon anytime he wished.

Anyhoo…

Since most historical conquers were not HOT by any means, I’m making it up for today’s hotties blog.  So turn a blind eye if you must, but we’re going to pretend those men who were lacking in the looks department can be replaced by Hollywood’s rougher, prettier version.

So while there are quite a few conquerors throughout history, I say today we take the opportunity to give these men a fresh new face. Anyone wanna give it a shot? I’m think Gerard Butler makes number one as my favorite man to use as a historical conqueror. He’d make a kick ass Julius Caesar.  He’s just got that look.

And I’ll give Mr. Orlando Bloom the role of recasting Christopher Columbus.

And since tomorrow is a day where someone sailed into the sunset and founded a new world, I will concede to put up Capt’n Jack. He is a legend in his own right. This is a bit how I imagine him when he’s on the ship. He’s kinda hot like that.