Archive for the ‘Writing for Rum’ Category

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

The incomparable Miranda has chosen her winner: Bo’sun!

Congratulations, Bo’sun, and Miranda, thanks again for being an awesome guest and keeping our darling Jack on his toes.

Captain Jack Sparrow Parlays With Miranda Neville About Her Wild Marquis

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

*in the early morning light, where the Romance Writer’s Revenge is anchored at port in Vermont, which is truly magical since Vermont is not a state with a coastline, and the deck is suspiciously quiet. Perhaps the crew of the RWR are sleeping in preparation for their guest Miranda Neville, who will be dropping by the ship to discuss her new book, The Wild Marquis*

Miranda: *peeking over the railing* Hello? *climbing over the edge and finally standing on deck* Whew! I wasn’t sure about that rope climbing thing. I mean, even with the knots tied at intervals, it’s still pretty….

Jack: Miranda! My sweet, my luv, my precious, my pet. I’m so glad to see you. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come get you personally, but I was busy getting the ship ready for your arrival.

Miranda: *breathless, patting down her hair* Really? The crew is ready for me?

Jack: *laughing* Oh, no, I sent them to shore. Amazing what free pints of Ben & Jerry Ice Cream coupons will do for a bunch of chocolate-loving tarts like them. I mean, I could barely get the ship pulled into port before they were diving off the sides and swimming for land. I think they’ll be stockpiling.

Miranda: But…what about my interview?

Jack: Oh, we’re still doing your interview, luv. *guiding her with one hand at her lower back* Come with me where I can now assure you no interruption as you tell me more about your delightful novel. *kissing up her arm* The Wild Marquis, is it?

Miranda:  The setting is Regency England, my favorite place, and it’s a tale rife with sex, violence, and deep, dark secrets involving ruthless rare book collectors.

Jack: The story does sound very promising. Especially the rife with sex part. The hero himself sounds very much like yours truly. What did the blurb say? “He is notorious for his wretched morals and never received in respectable houses. The ladies of the ton would never allow him in their drawing rooms . . . though some of them have welcomed him into their bedchambers.” I mean, that sounds like a page out of one of my journals! Tell me more about this Marquis. I like to know about my competition.

Miranda: Cain, the Marquis of Chase loves women. Not just for you-know-what. He really likes them as people. He was just a lad when his father kicked him out of the house and he was rescued from a robbery by some charming prostitutes. Since then all his best friends are women and he makes a point of protecting them and treating them well, not just you-know-where. This makes him unlike a lot of the befuddled hunks who inhabit so many romances (not that I don’t love a befuddled hunk too). Cain rarely misunderstands women but, perhaps because he knows them too well, he has never fallen in love.

Jack: You know, it takes a special sort of woman to appreciate men like the Marquis and me. Someone daring, someone yearning to be a bit wicked herself, someone…devastatingly beautiful. Who is this girl, and did you bring her with you? I know she’s met this Chase fellow, but do I have a shot at her at all?

Miranda: Juliana Merton is a very serious girl and I’m afraid she might not appreciate your … unusual … approach to life. Her husband was murdered and she’s having a hard time making ends meet in her rare book shop. Turns out most men don’t think women know anything. But when Cain needs an expert to help him buy back a family heirloom, he’s thrilled to find a woman with the right knowledge. Plus she’s cute as a button and Cain’s not good at depriving himself—and the women in question—of a good time. Juliana doesn’t think much of Cain at first but she needs him as a client. Then he starts to make her laugh. (Hmm. On second thought, Jack, perhaps you’d better stay away from her. She might fancy you.) Specters from both their pasts emerge and Juliana is in danger. Next thing the two of them are charging around England in a carriage, and you know what happens when you put a hero and heroine in a carriage together ….

Jack: Fine, fine. The next girl then. You definitely have to introduce me to the next girl. What’s up next for you? Any winsome wenches on the horizon for me?

Miranda: I think you’ll like Diana, the heroine of my next book. She’s quite a saucy minx. On the other hand she wants to marry a duke. The book is called The Dangerous Viscount, a hint about how that plan goes. You’ll have to invite me back in October if you want to meet her.

Jack: Where are my manners? Have a seat, my dear, and a spot of rum. *goes to pour rum but his bottle is empty* Chance has it here somewhere. *returns with two new bottles* Here you go. Go ahead, perch yourself in Hellion’s hammock. She won’t mind. So what is the daily life like for a glamorous romance novelist like yourself?

Miranda:  *holds out glass* Thank you, I will. Or just give me the whole bottle. Just to keep you all guessing, I’m going to make the account of my day multiple choice.

I start the day with (a) a little champagne (b) a lot of coffee (c) a hangover.

I step into my (a) rose-scented bath tub (b) dust-infested office (c) dungeon

where I (a) receive a massage from a Swedish movie star (b) check my email (c) am tortured by publishing professionals wanting to know where my book is.

Dressed in (a) a chic little number I picked up in Milan (b) my bathrobe (c) armor, I (a) compose ten pages by noon (b) stare at the screen for an hour then eat half a jar of peanut butter and a candy bar (c) have a nervous breakdown. Then I (a) plan my next research trip to exotic locales (b) go to my day job (c) drink heavily. It a (a) hard (b) hard (c) hard life being a romance novelist, but there are compensations, like meeting delicious pirates with a steady hand for eyeliner application.

Jack: Well, I do enjoy being a perk. (That is what Hellion called me the other night…or did the word start with j?) All right. Last question—but definitely the most important—do you think you’ll write a few pirate romances in the future? Because I can help you in the most indelible ways in researching for those stories. The way a pirate thinks. The kind of eye liner he wears. The sort of place he prefers to seduce his winsome wench. We can start researching now if you prefer….

Miranda: You know, Jack, I don’t know anything about ships, but if you could give me a few pointers I might be persuaded to put someone like you in my next book. Especially if you give me eyeliner lessons. But before you do that– *watching Jack kiss up her arm* –let me wrap up here.

I have the most chaotic work habits and it’s a miracle my books get written. I’m still not entirely sure how it happens. I’m always madly impressed by writers who sit down at the same time each day and produce a quota of pages. Are you like that? Or do you type THE END and wonder where the heck all those words came from? (Oh, and did I mention I am giving away a copy of The Wild Marquis to one lucky commenter?)

FOIL-ed Again: Or FOIL Method Characters in Novels

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Most of my post-traumatic stress flashbacks are high school related. I’m sure that doesn’t exactly count in most mental facilities because being shot at is always much more stressful than having to go to Algebra class, but some days, I’d rather just be shot at. Take for instance, the FOIL method. You know this one: first, outer, inner, and last. It’s used to multiply two binomials, whatever the hell those are.

As you can imagine, my Algebra teacher lied because I’m relatively certain I have not used the FOIL method or almost any part of algebra in my everyday life since I graduated. Thank you, God.

Fortunately, math class wasn’t the only place we learned about foils. We also learned about foils in literature. For me, these types of foils made much more sense. A foil character is a person who is used to make another character, usually the main character, stand out more, done by contrast. The term comes from the word foil which is a jeweler’s practice of placing polished metal (foil) beneath a gemstone to make it shine more brightly. (Doesn’t that sound lovely? You’re making your book shine. Besides, I love jewelry.)

And whether you’ve even heard of the term foil character or not, I’m sure you could identify one without even thinking about it. In fiction, we frequently use mentors and/or best friends as foils to the hero/heroine. Roguish Captain Jack Sparrow is a foil to the honorable Will Turner. Will wants to ask permission; Jack wants to get forgiven (or at least not hanged) when all is said and done. Will wants to rescue the girl; Jack wants to save his own skin. Will wants to be a good and noble blacksmith with a good and noble sailor for a father; and Jack wants to be a pirate. Both of them get the job done, but differently.

In the Essex sisters series (Eloisa James), the sisters are foils to each other. Tessa, the oldest, is the caring, mother-nurturer one; Annabel is the mercenary one (so to speak, not wanting to marry for romance); Imogen is the romantic (can’t get any more romantic running off with neighbor boy gambler!); and Josie is almost a blend of the other three: caring, mercenary, and romantic (sensitive to what others think; practical in that she makes a list of what she needs to do to capture a man; romantic in that secretly she wants to be loved for herself.) And they all end up mentoring each other on some level throughout the books.

Foils are useful. They add contrast; they give humor. Best of all, if your FOIL character is likable enough, you can use them in another book.

So here is my FOIL method for making foil characters. It’s a lot easier than algebra and you’re much more likely to use it in your everyday life. FOIL stands for: Funny, Opposite, Insightful, and Lovable.

Funny: this character is usually used for comedic effect, even if he’s the “straight man” and isn’t dropping one-liners. However, mentors and sidekicks (which can sometimes be played as the same character in a story) frequently are given the best lines. They can say things that the hero/heroine can’t. And really, it’s the least we can do for them: giving them the funny lines, because the hero is the one who’s going to get the girl, right? Throw the guy a bone. For instance, in Pleasure for Pleasure, Imogen—who never struck me as exactly a one-liner sort of character, being she was very romantic and “serious”—is advising Josie about men and age, “Thirty is a watershed year. If they’re going to develop intelligence, they do it around then, and if they don’t, it’s too late. So you mustn’t hanker after men in their twenties. That’s like buying a pig in a poke.”

Opposite: this character usually exhibits traits opposite of main character, to add humor, but also to exhibit good qualities of main character to literary effect. (Ex: a 401K-save-10%, loves the finer things accountant has a perpetually broke surfer friend who buys lottery tickets and ramen noodles; or a sweats-clad single social worker is friends with a bored housewife who shops on Rodeo Drive—how these people are friends is anyone’s guess, but it’s amusing to see how they work together and learn from each other.) Annabel is considered the beautiful, sexy sister, and Josie despairs of being anything like her because she’s too fat and self-conscious.

Insightful: Foils are often placards for “mentor” roles. Not only are they given the best lines, they are frequently given profound, INSIGHTFUL lines to make the character wake up and stop doing old behavior that will lose them the love of their lives. (See: Watershed year line above. Can’t get anymore insightful than that.)

Lovable: They have to be at least likable, but lovable is better. No one wants their hero to be friends with a complete asshole—or if they are, they better have a damned good reason. If the FOIL character is an asshole and doesn’t change, it’s possible the hero may have to cut ties when he realizes this behavior is not doing anyone any good. Imogen goes through a period of very self-destructive behavior before she becomes “worthy” of being a heroine. And again, if you make them likable, you can probably use them for the next book. (I also think “loyal” works here because FOIL characters are usually loyal to the hero/heroine, and loyalty goes a long ways to negating any bad behavior that character might have.)

So what do you think of foil characters in books? Do you consciously or unconsciously give your “mentor/friends” characters opposite traits to your hero/heroine? Do you give them the best lines? Who are some of your favorite foil characters? And does anyone actually understand how the FOIL method works in algebra?

And the Oscar goes to…

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Morgan Freeman-Invictus

This time every year Hollywood is aflutter with anticipation. Who will receive the golden statue for the leading man in the best actor category? This year the Academy of Performing Arts has once again nominated the best of the best. What I noticed about this years nominees, is the distinguished attraction in a category of talented performers. Just like the heroes in some of my favorite novels, it proves that looks do not always dictate the power of the leading man. George Clooney, Tobey McGuire, and Colin Firth are nothing to sneeze at, but I find the talent of Morgan Freeman and Jeff Bridges to be equally arresting.

JR Ward created a tortured and scarred hero in Zaddist. In Lover Eternal, he displayed as many scars on the outside as the suffering he sheltered in his soul. His scarred appearance endeared his character to thousands of readers. An attractive appearance is just icing on the cake for the most cherished leading men. Heroes are remembered for their actions, and the ability to make you believe them in the role they portray.

Tobey McQuire- Brothers

George Clooney-Up in the Air

Colin Firth-A Single Man

Unfortunately, I haven’t viewed any of the movies nominated. However, I can remember each of these men in unforgettable roles. Most memorable for me would have to be Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption. At the end, when he strolls down the beach toward Tim Robbins, it makes me want to stand and cheer every time.

In movies as well as novels, the memory etched, is the sucess gained.

Jeff Bridges-Crazy Heart

Who are your favorite-scarred heroes? Whom do you predict to win the Oscar tonight?

Gothic Romance Writer Erica Ridley Visits the Boat and Chats About her Debut!

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

We’ve got an exciting new author visiting the blog today!   Erica Ridley writes Gothic romance and Eloisa James called her debut, Too Wicked To Kiss, “one of the wittiest returns to the gothic since Jane Austen made fun of Miss Catherine Morland in Northanger Abbey.”

But not only is her book getting great buzz, Erica’s also super cool.  So without further adieu, please give Erica a warm RWR welcome!  Chance, make her a glittery hooha and someone round up a couple of crewmembers….

*******************************************

Erica


TOO WICKED TO KISS has a psychic heroine. Would you like to have visions of the future?

Only if the future could be changed. If not, I’d rather not know bad things were imminent, (nor have good surprises be ruined.) Unfortunately for Evangeline, she has very little control over what she sees, and no way to stop the visions from coming. Since they’re brought about by any skin-to-skin contact, she’s spent her entire life quite literally out of touch from other people… no matter how big a crowd she might be in.

The hero isn’t Mr. Sociable himself, either. Right?

Right, although Gavin has physically sequestered himself for emotional reasons (he’s been shunned from Society for the alleged murder of his parents) whereas Evangeline is emotionally isolated for physical reasons (her cursed visions.) The situation forces them to reach out. Their interaction breaks the loneliness, helping each of them to grow and change as a person while also falling in love.

Tell us about Blackberry Manor. Why set the story in such a scary place?

I remember reading My Sweet Audrina by VC Andrews as a teen, and being struck by the heroine’s struggle to make sense of her environment. She was constantly disoriented as to passage of time by a house where every clock told a different hour and every calendar a different date. I liked the idea that there *was* no safe haven. In Too Wicked To Kiss, Evangeline not only has to worry about which of the houseguests is a murderer, but also learns to fear Blackberry Manor itself, for very good reason.

Are Gothic-style stories what you prefer to read?

I love to read just about everything! Historical (particularly Regency-set) is my number one favorite romance genre, but my bookshelves are also crammed with everything from paranormal to romantic comedies to romantic suspense. There’s plenty of (non-romance) genre fiction competing for shelf space, too. Whenever I find a new-to-me author I really like, I’m infamous for heading straight to the bookstore and loading up on the author’s entire backlist!

For example?

The first Julia Quinn book I bought was the third or fourth installment in the Bridgerton series. I immediately went back to the store and cleaned them out of her older titles, including the previous non-Bridgerton books. Another I hit mid-series was Kay Hooper with her Special Crimes Unit. *Love* those books, and got my hands on everything she wrote, even from before her romantic suspense days. I’ve got an entire bookshelf filled with to-be-read books… who knows how many more authors will be sending me on a return trip to the bookstore!

###

HIS TOUCH HOLDS HER CAPTIVE…

From the ravens circling its spires to the gargoyles adorning its roof, Blackberry Manor looms ominously over its rambling grounds. And behind its doors, amid the flickering shadows and secret passageways, danger lies in wait.

TO HIS EVERY DARK DESIRE…

Evangeline Pemberton has been invited to a party at the sprawling estate of reclusive Gavin Lioncroft, who is rumored to have murdered his parents. Initially, Gavin’s towering presence and brusque manner instill fear in Evangeline…until his rakish features and seductive attentions profoundly arouse her. But when a guest is murdered, Evangeline is torn. Could the man to whom she is so powerfully drawn, also be a ruthless killer?

TOO WICKED TO KISS

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How about you? When you read a new-to-you book you really enjoy, do you seek out that author’s other titles? Or do you only a small number of books on a single “keeper shelf”?

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Get to know Erica at:

Author Website: http://www.ericaridley.com

Book Bonus Features: http://www.2wicked2kiss.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/EricaRidleyFans

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/EricaRidley

Reflection

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Music Choice: “One Feeling” Dommin. CD: Love is Gone (2010)

Fantastical CD. Manda loves to tell people that we saw them in concert last June and I had a chance to speak to the lead singer. Instead of fawning over him, Manda says that I strolled right up to him, double fisted my hands in his t-shirt, pulled him close and blew her mind away. When I pulled away from him, Manda turns to me and says, “What did you say to him?”

And I merely shrugged my shoulders and said, “I told him I wanted more music and he needed to get on that ASAP.”

***

I sat on the dock, lily pads dotted the edge of the pond, frogs chirped and the wind rustled through the overgrown cattails. I brushed my hair away from my eyes and unfolded my legs out from under me. The water cold on the bottom of my feet and I wiggled my toes. Gentle ripples waved from my feet and fanned out until they faded back into the calm water. I was all alone. Alone with my thoughts, alone with my fear of the unknown. The bottom of the pond was a dark and solitude place and something I’d never conquer unless I tackled it head first.

My heart thumped in fear, adrenaline rushed through my veins as I stood up and peeled off my shirt. I threw the shirt onto the bank and my jeans followed. The wind caressed my skin and called for me to get closer to the water. I tiptoed, mesmerized by the calm, and watched the reflection of clouds float by me. Sunlight dimmed on the water and I came to the edge of the dock. My toes flexed over the rough wood and dug in as if they could hold me back from what was inevitable.

I took a deep breath and held it as I worked up enough courage to face my fear. I breathed out slowly and I threw myself into the air. The water was cold as it rushed over me and I gasped as I dipped below the surface. I shot to the surface and coughed and sputtered and floundered. The sound of my heart roared in my head, my lungs hurt from lack of oxygen and I looked up to the sky one last time. The sun peeked through the clouds and haloed around me. I closed my eyes and stopped fighting. The dark embraced me.

***

I’ve been on vacation. In case you didn’t notice. During vacation, I usually try to write, stretch my wings creatively and just chill out. This vacation was different. I didn’t write at all. Didn’t pull out my laptop once. Fielded no calls from the office. My life was blissfully work stress free and silent. Before I left for vacation, I found myself sitting in the quiet peaceful room with a psychic massage therapist at the request of my BFF. Apparently, I am too wound up to enjoy relaxing properly. Now, I am a very private person.  Most people who know me know that without a doubt I don’t want anyone to know what I’m hiding, what I’m thinking or what I’m doing. Going to a psychic massage therapist doesn’t really mesh well with my need to hide in plain sight.

You can just gather from my meeting with her that she’s pretty freaking accurate. Then I turn around and the first day of vacation a tarot card reader throws down an accurate read of my past and my current status. I’m kinda pissed that I’m losing my ability to hide. If you can just tell someone your full name (sans the middle because no one gets that kind of power over me- people who use middle names own souls in my fcked up little fictional world), year you were born and occupation (which we all know I answer vaguely) and they can throw down a read that you have a hard time lying about and are still thinking about two weeks later, warrants some respect.  I blame this on the psychic massage therapy breaking my wall and I didn’t have time to properly rebuild it before the tarot card reader threw down with me. It’s like she knew exactly where I was going to be and lured me in.

So, for the remainder of my vacation I was left with a few thoughts brewing in the back of my brain. Change is coming, the type of change I’ve been looking for and striving for seven years. I’m left with forcing my writing because creatively I’m stunted due to my lack of change so I have to reflect and take a step back. And last but not least, my life is looking to be turned upside down. I like change and I thrive when it comes to living on the fly. It comes from years and years of biding my time.

Relaxing is not something I do easily. I’m too wound for sound, always moving and always doing. Pausing to reflect and change course on something I’ve set my mind to is always too difficult for me. I’d rather scratch it all and start over. Clean slate with no marks and no scuffs and no issues to address. Walk away before it gets ugly- that’s my motto. Diana has caused me to take a step back and think about what I really want out of my writing. I spent a lot of time in the pool, on my back, staring up at the sky while I thought about in theory what writing means to me and my mental state. Where I want my characters to go and how to grow. But the goal was to not put anything on paper. Think, reflect, relax, enjoy and learn.

After two weeks, I can’t say that I’m any further along in my self-examination of my writing psyche.

Sabbaticals, hiatuses from writing- Do you think they are a good idea? Any writers you can think of that have taken years off between books only to come back stronger than they were before? What is your favorite relaxation technique?

Setting Up Settings

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

I lack in many areas of writing, but where I lack the most, I believe, is in settings. In my rough drafts (which is all I have so far) I don’t describe what my characters are wearing, where they are standing, or anything about their surroundings. What’s more, I don’t even see these things in my mind. Some of it, maybe, if I step back and think about it. But most of the time, nothing.

You may remember I blogged not long ago about finally embracing plotting. My tool of choice is the storyboard. Imagine my surprise and delight in realizing I can use this same storyboard to create my settings. I’d like to say I came to this conclusion on my own. But no, it came from a witty and knowledgeable source. Ms. Anne Lamott.

I’m currently reading Bird By Bird by Ms. Lamott (aren’t you proud of me, Janga?) and am loving it. Can’t recommend this book highly enough. I found this nugget of wisdom in the SET DESIGN chapter.

“Imagine yourself as the set designer for a play or for the movie version of the story you are working on. It may help you to know what the room (or the ship or the office or the meadow) looks like where the action will be taking place. You want to know how its feel, its temperature, its colors.” (p 74)

Ms. Lamott goes on to recommend asking anyone you can to help describe settings you may not be familiar with. In one of her books, she wanted to design an extravagant garden. She, like me, has no skills with plant life, so she sought out experts for help. By the time the book was published, she’d done so well, readers approached her wanting to talk gardening.

I realize this is common sense and somewhere deep down I knew it. But I wasn’t sure how to go about it. Then I got an idea. I could add this information to the storyboard. Marn has often raved about using spreadsheets for storyboarding, but I’ve fought the idea tooth and nail. I use spreadsheets all day at the day job and couldn’t imagine using them for something creative like writing.

But I’ve changed my mind.

I could easily add a smaller box under every scene box with some description. Where the scene takes place. If it’s cold, wet, dark, loud. And an added bonus with spreadsheets, my cat can’t eat them. (Shredded it, he did. The little turd.)

I haven’t actually applied this idea, I just had it about 48 hours ago. But I will and I promise to report back.

How about you? How do you create your settings? Do you think about them ahead of time? Do you skip them in the rough draft and add them later? Or are you of the expert class who has figured out how to use setting to reveal character? Do you stick with places you’re familiar with first hand or are you brave enough to choose places you’ve never been?

Hottie of the Week – A Sure Try*

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

I have a new fascination. And though I’m sure after seeing the lovely men of this blog, you’re going to think you know why I am so fascinated. But you’d be wrong. Well, mostly wrong.

I watched another rugby game this weekend. Last week, I watched France beat Ireland. Who’d a thunk there were large, hunky Frenchmen? Really, I never guessed. But these guys were burly. This weekend, I watched Ireland bounce back to beat England. It was close, but Ireland totally outplayed them.

So, anyone find a new fascination lately? Fell in love with those Norwegian Curling pants maybe?

*A TRY in rugby is the same as a touchdown in American football. Only it’s worth less points. And is much tougher to get.

When Less is More

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

by J Perry Stone

I’ve been noticing, lately, a wide-spread habit of chronic over-doing. Weddings where the brides walk down the aisle to such bombastic, over-the-top music, the trumpets fairly blast them into the carpet runner. Movies where the special effects are so exaggerated, the audience is technologically tortured. I call these movies “nap time” by the way.

Even a week ago, after writing my grandfather’s obituary, the part-time editor of the village newspaper called wanting to “beef it up” by adding the names of his parents (!), the spouses of his four children, as well as the names of his six grandchildren and their six children. The poor readers! Ever read the catalogues in Homer’s Iliad? Snooze-fest.

As Americans we tend to over-do. So much so, it’s a part of our stereotype. We think if a little is good, surely a truckload is better. As a garlic-loving cook, as well as a woman with a big mouth, I’m certainly the worst offender. As a writer, probably more so, but as a reader? I’m getting weary.

Are we losing the substance of our stories in an assault of bells and whistles? Why am I closing books only to feel as though I’ve been trapped in a Chuck E Cheese during a power-surge?

I point to a couple trends.

First exaggeration: sex. Now I’m no prude and get pretty frustrated if my romance novel doesn’t provide me with at least one satisfying consummation scene. Two, even better. That said–for God’s sake publishing world!–five sex scenes in a 350 page book does not spicy sensuality make. I’ve said it before but when I read about the poor heroine getting jack-hammered over and over again, all I can think is, “How did they treat urinary tract infections in Regency England?” It isn’t the number of times the hero’s tool makes an appearance, but the emotional roil that gives a story its spice. If you don’t agree, dear writer, then I shall have to inform you that your hero’s tool bored me to tears. And frankly, as a romance writer, a boring penis is a first-degree offense.

Second exaggeration: Ego writing. Ever read a story where you were painfully aware of the author indulging herself in her own clever wit? Nothing irks me more. I can feel you, Ms. Author, inserting yourself in the story, but I don’t want you making a cameo in my escape. The story isn’t about you. It’s about the characters.

Maybe I’m just being pissy, but is a little restraint, subtlety and taste to know when less is more asking too much?

Consider this post your permission to bitch about it. What has been over-done for you lately?

(Note: my fashion journalist sister says over-doing is only acceptable when it comes to jewelry. Here I quite agree.)

Hottie of the Week – Men of the Hour

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

If you’ve seen anything about the Olympics, the men in this blog should look quite familiar. Cute as they may be, the fact they’re sporting some fancy new bling doesn’t hurt matters at all.