We know ye’ve been dying to know who we are…so here’s a bit of history of this surly, crazy mess of pirates.

Christie (commonly known as Sin, Quartermaster, or QC) is the bravest and baddest of the pirate crew. Notoriously known to love fondling large guns and spider-monkeying dark and very dangerous men, she is frequently found outsmarting her husband and plotting her next move to get ice cream in the house while he is on his weight-lifting diet. (The fact the monkey is named after him is purely coincidence.) She prefers to write light-hearted books that mirror her life, featuring guns, murders, computer hacking, and twisted plots that even Mark Twain wouldn’t believe—and is currently working on her romantic suspense series with these light-hearted themes and dark, dangerous men at their center. (Hey, write what you know, right?) She would be continuing her Super-Secret-Agent/Witness-Relocation life now, except that she met Hellion, and hasn’t been allowed to hide in obscurity any longer. (She currently resides in an undisclosedly located, booby-trapped bunker, which Hellion always manages to find and infiltrate regardless.)

Fran (a.k.a. “Captain Hellion”, Hellion, Sophie Sinclair, or whatever non-antiquated name she’s adopted this week) is madly at work on her WIP, which answers the age-old question: if you lived in the small town you grew up in and taught the smug progeny of all your high school nemeses, is it wrong to not invite them to the book signing when you’ve used all their Peyton Place drama in your NYT’s bestseller? Of course, not. Just don’t be surprised if they turn on you. Fran grew up (and still lives) in the Midwest; and received her BA in English from Columbia College. Fran currently uses her degree to make folders and edit local menus at places she eats. Her one true love is Captain Jack Sparrow, whom she hopes never to be parted from. She can be bribed with cheese dip; and has a tendency to strip when she’s had too much rum.

Lisa (“Powder Monkey”) lives in a small town in southern Ohio with her husband and 8 year old son. She works as a nurse in the operating room, and until three years ago had no aspirations of writing a novel. She has a wicked sense of humor, and loves playing with her hot alpha males in her latest WIP. She writes romantic suspense, and enjoys reading historical novels. When she’s not stroking big cannons or fiddling with balls, she spends her down time chatting it up with her blog partners and a group of ladies who share a love for Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

Marnee (“Gunner”) is working to complete her first novel, a paranormal historical romance loosely based on her idea of what the witch tv-series Charmed would have been like had it been set in Regency England. She grew up in Western Pennsylvania and attended Dickinson College, receiving a degree in English literature. Continuing on her way east, she settled in South New Jersey where she worked in the mortgage industry and taught high school English. She is married and currently stays at home with her feisty one year old and two resultantly beleaguered cats. (You guessed it: we kidnapped her to be our sober chauffuer. We never drink and sail. Plus Marnee is insanely funny. It was because of the chicken salad.)

Terrio (Boatswain or Terri Osburn) used to have a nice, simple life. Now not so much. Born in the Ohio Valley, she has an Associate Degree in the Music/Video Business (yes, that’s a real degree) from The Art Institute of Pittsburgh (yes, that’s a real school) and in the Spring of 2009 will complete her Bachelors in Business Management with Strayer University. After eight years on the radio as a country music disc jockey, she left the music biz behind to return to the cubicle jungle. By day she’s an Administrative Assistant, but her nights are filled with college courses and writing contemporary as well as erotic romance. Terrio is a single mom living near the beach in Virginia with her 8 year old daughter, Isabelle, their skittish yet lovely parakeet, Chesney, and the latest addition to the family, Grace the Hamster.